Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 I was friends with my ex for a good 2 years before we started dating. We finally go together and dated for almost 2 years. We both worked together and and I was promoted to be in the same department as her....right after I was promoted she dumped me and started dating someone else from that department...needless to say it was horrific for me...so much to the point where I had to take a demotion at work and go back to my regular job just to keep my sanity. Things got pretty ugly from there...I had stopped talking to her and one of our mutual friends also stopped talking to her...4 months after the break up she contacted me because this mutual friend was moving and she had asked me to help her move out...which I agreed to...my ex was pissed because our friend had told her that she didn't want her to help with the move because I was helping...so my ex contacted me about that...saying that she wanted to be friends but I believe it was just to appease our mutual friend...long story short we ended up fighting after we spoke again...and she grew even angrier with me because our mutual friend now disliked her because of the way she treated me and went about dumping me.. Fast forward a year later...I haven't spoken to her in over a year...we still work at the same place but its a very large buidling and I've haven't even seen her in that years time. In that time I've been dating a girl for a year...2 weeks ago her and I go on a "break" because things aren't working out. Yesterday my ex...the one from before sends me a text saying that she knows we haven't spoken in awhile...but she heard I was leaving. I reply back that I am in fact quitting and she starts to tell me about how important I was to her and that she's sad because she was thinking about all the good times we had together....she tells me how good I was too her and it was all unconditional...I am the one that made her realize how good things can be with someone and she wished things hadn't ended the way they did. Someone told her about the party they are having for me and she asked if it would be ok if she went...which I also agreed to. Am I stupid? I mean I am over her for the most part...but what is she doing this for...its got me very confused Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by DrAbe Am I stupid? No, I think it's sweet. Being on good terms with exes on an occasional basis is healthy, IMO. but what is she doing this for...its got me very confused Two possibilities. Guilt and a desire to make amends. Or she is realising just what she lost and wants to get back with you. Either way, be gracious, polite and friendly. But reserved too - make her come to you a bit. It will be excellent closure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Well we kind of went all through this about a year ago......both her and I hung out during that time we went hiking and talked and whatnot....she made plans with me later on to hike...and then cancelled them...repeatedly It pissed me off...I asked her why she wanted to go hiking with me..why she wanted to talk...she said she needed closure on the situation....we talked a few more times after that....and she told me not to contact her anymore..her and I had closure...at least I thought so from what she told me. I'm no longer bitter about it....I am wondering if she's going to bring her new boyfriend to my going away party....when we spoke she didn't ask me about any relationship i was in and never mentioned anything about hers... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by DrAbe Well we kind of went all through this about a year ago......both her and I hung out during that time we went hiking and talked and whatnot....she made plans with me later on to hike...and then cancelled them...repeatedly Sure this wasn't Juliet? Sounds like her MO. It pissed me off...I asked her why she wanted to go hiking with me..why she wanted to talk...she said she needed closure on the situation....we talked a few more times after that....and she told me not to contact her anymore..her and I had closure... Selfish cow! Well done for not being bitter. Rise above it graciously, proving what a good person you are... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 I am...she told me she was happy I was being so cool about all of this. She couldn't live with herself if she let me go without saying goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 I thinku are mostly confused cause she said take a hike. My ex has done that a million times, even lately. It took her alot to say those things to you, and so I would say take it easy with her. It probably wouldnt be too hard to get back with her if you be really sweet to her. Dont mess it up like I have been doing. If you say you will call do so, if she calls you pick up if you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 I don't know if she wants that or not....one thing about the texts that keeps ringing in my head was she said she was really sad how it all had ended but everything happens for a reason. I think she is still with the guy she left me for...like I said she never mentioned him...nor did she ask if I was with someone... She also said she doesn't expect us to be great friends or anything....she doesn't know if she can handle being good friends with me again....I don't know...I don't think I should read too much into it but I really can't stop thinking about it....I am extremely nervous about this friday... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by DrAbe ...she said she was really sad how it all had ended but everything happens for a reason. What was the reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 In my opinion I would stay away. Don't be rude to her, have normal conversations with her but don't give her to much detail about your life. All she wants is probably to brown-nose about your life and see how you're doing that's all. Don't read to much into it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Yesterday my ex...the one from before sends me a text saying that she knows we haven't spoken in awhile...but she heard I was leaving. I reply back that I am in fact quitting and she starts to tell me about how important I was to her and that she's sad because she was thinking about all the good times we had together....she tells me how good I was too her and it was all unconditional...I am the one that made her realize how good things can be with someone and she wished things hadn't ended the way they did. Someone told her about the party they are having for me and she asked if it would be ok if she went...which I also agreed to. Am I stupid? I mean I am over her for the most part...but what is she doing this for...its got me very confused This is called, EGO feeding frenzy. Just stay away from her at the party. Do as little chatting with her as possible. If she comes on strong and tries to flirt with you - come right out and ask her what she is really wants, especially after all this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer What was the reason? Probably that she wanted to see someone else... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup This is called, EGO feeding frenzy. Just stay away from her at the party. Do as little chatting with her as possible. If she comes on strong and tries to flirt with you - come right out and ask her what she is really wants, especially after all this time. thats a good idea...I'll say hi and thank her for coming...but for the most part I'll make it so she has to try to seek me out and create conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by Abe for the most part I'll make it so she has to try to seek me out and create conversation. Yup. You seem to have lost a lot of the power in this relationship, so it needs to be evened up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 You have the power now. Don't lose it. If you want back with her then you need to maintain composure, take it slow and never reliquish control of the relationship. Read Alpha's post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 where can i find this post by alpha? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by Abe where can i find this post by alpha? Just search for post by "alphamale" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abe Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 did that and got over 2000 posts.....something i should be looking for? Link to post Share on other sites
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