I can't tell if he still has feelings for me

[Hopelessromantic04]

Hey everyone,

My ex and I broke up in August after 4 months of dating. It was a short relationship but in that little time, we definitely created a deep bond.

 

The break up was initiated by him, but to be honest..he had a lot of personal problems. He regularly participated in self-destructive behavior. He is/was depressed. I understand why he is depressed but nonetheless, he shouldn't be participating in such behavior.

 

Anyway, I sincerely feel the breakup had very little/nothing to do with our connection. I think we definitely had love for each other.

 

Since the break up, we tried to be friends but that transition was hard. There was a lot of chemistry still there. He helped me move into my apartment, edits my papers, ect. Whenever he would come over, we could end up having to stop ourselves from having sex because the chemistry was intense-but he both knew getting back together was just not in the cards for now. Eventually, it got so confusing, I had to essentially stop contacting him.

 

Recently, we have gotten back into communication and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We met up the other day and it was interesting seeing him. I won't say the chemistry was gone but I also won't say it was the same.

 

At the end, he ended kissing me on my neck and we hugged goodbye. And he poked me in my stomach. It was something he used to do playfully. I am not sure if this was him flirting?

 

I am not sure where we are. He is still engaging in self-destructive behavior although he is improving but he is still so depressed. I am not sure what to do. I still love him very much but he needs to get better. What should I do?

[Zahara]

I am not sure where we are. He is still engaging in self-destructive behavior although he is improving but he is still so depressed. I am not sure what to do. I still love him very much but he needs to get better. What should I do?

 

Ask him. If you want to know what his true intentions are then you need to communicate with him. We can speculate but in order for you to make the best decision for yourself, it has to come from him.

 

Also, if he is still engaging in destructive behavior, then you should go NC. The only thing you're doing is perpetuating a painful cycle -- for yourself. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

[dumbass2]

You should go back to NC at least until his behavior has changed. Maybe way down the road you might reconnect and if he's fully healed then who knows. Right now you do know he's pretty much the same but hopefully moving in the right direction. You can't even be just friends at this point because you still have romantic feelings.

[preraph]

Just because you both may have feelings doesn't mean you should be together. There are lots of people you can love but not be and live with. A person needs to add to your life in more ways than just emotionally. There is a practical side as well, and he's failing there.