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Meeting up with my ex soon, not sure what to expect


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Will be 3 months broken up early next month. Backstory in fuller detail:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/617282-she-broke-up-me-less-than-month-after-i-met-her-extended-family

 

I had a bizarrely brief relationship with a girl who acted like I was more than I was. Broke up with me less than a month after a gushing valentine's and having me meet her extended family, who all adored me. It felt very high school after the fact, which was odd, given our ages. I didn't handle it well. Brief contact resumed when she thanked me for a donation to a charity her family was sponsoring I thought I had made anonymously.

 

Wounds reopened, we fought. I was upset that she jumped straight to dumping me with no prior warning. I thought she was just reacting to her grandmother's death and some other stuff in her life and had started to resent me by externalizing whatever she was going through. I didn't really have anything else to go by, as she dumped me out of the blue and cited a simple lack of chemistry (odd, given how loving she had been and how close we had started becoming) and that she felt like she had jumped in too quickly.

 

Getting over her has been a process of focusing on myself and simply being okay with the fact that there really isn't much of an answer, either because she doesn't know how to express whatever she was feeling or because it really was something going on in her life and had nothing to do with me. Regardless, nothing I could/can control. But I had broached the opportunity to spend time together without expectations as a means of putting her worries to rest and potentially salvage what had felt very real and organic to me.

 

She just wanted space, initially, which is why we didn't talk for about two months. But she relented when we spoke again. And not in a "fine, if this will get you to leave me alone" sort of way. She seems almost... enthusiastic?

 

That was a month ago. She went away for a trip for like two weeks, and I broached the subject a few days after I figured she got back. I assumed she would've changed her mind. I even broached just grabbing lunch after a shift of hers at work, since I lift weights with a buddy right next to her job, but she reminded me that I had wanted her to come by and see my new apartment and the dog.

 

So even without trying to read into this too much, she seems pretty settled in wanting to meet up. I don't expect she wants to get back together or has any reservations about breaking up with me, but I'm also surprised that this was an easy thing to broach. Ideally, I would love for her to have a great time, have her realize that she spooked prematurely, and rekindle the romance that we had. Worst case scenario, she mentions or even brings a boyfriend. I figure I should expect somewhere in the middle.

 

The goal is to just have a good time and show her that we can be on good terms, despite how emotionally distraught I was at the break. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not sad or that I don't miss her, but I guess it's still important to me that she can look at me in a positive light. How do I avoid setting myself up for disappointment?

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Meeting her is a bad idea. You are still emotionally distraught & you want her back. She doesn't want that. You can't be friends when you want more. It's like pressing your nose to the window at the bakery when you are on a diet.

 

 

Meeting her will simply upset you & set back your healing as you long for what you can't have.

 

 

Cancel the meeting & stop talking to her.

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Cancel

 

 

Scarcity adds value

If your the one cancelling your telling her your time is valuable.

 

Women are attracted to men who's feeling are unclear.

 

Tell her younhave better things to do and your busy.

 

Don't call her or text her.

Make her do all the work.,...she left you. Don't give her the gift of your time unless she's serious about you as a romantic partner...

 

And if she is......it should be natural.....this doesn't sound natural

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