emotionalperson Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 We broke up a year ago because we were both going through something personal and just had to be on our own. We talked sometimes but not much. Last month he reached out to me again and asked to hang out. Long story short we started hanging out again and then he confessed he wanted to try again. I accepted. Everything was nice for a few weeks then I kinda stopped and looked at his situation... Last year after we broke up, he met a girl that he really liked for 8 months (and I mean really like. He posted pictures of her alot throughout the year, was really interested in her, hung out all the time etc. You get the point...) Apparently she rejected him twice. And I found out he reached out to me 1 week after she got a new boyfriend... They're still friends and hang out alot with their group of friends. He pushes me to hang out with him and his group but after finding out about this, I can't help but feel anxious and hurt at the end of the day. I get thoughts that maybe he's just trying to use me since everyone in his group is a couple... Yesterday I told him how I feel about this and he reassured me alot that it's only me that he wants and he doesn't want this situation to make his move on me look wrong. What do you guys think? Should I give this a chance? Am I over thinking this? Sometimes I can't help but feel like the other girl. And it feels like that girl is "the one that got away" and I'll never be who he truly wants... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I can certainly see what you mean. He broke up with you because he had "something personal" and "just had to be on our own", but that didn't seem to stop him trying it on multiple times with her. His personal stuff prevented him from being in a relationship with you, but not with her? That doesn't seem very plausible to me. And going back to you just 1 week after she became unavailable - yeah sorry - you're the backup. Possibly he's just using you to make her jealous. Sorry to say I think as soon as she becomes single again, you'll be kicked to the kerb. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionalperson Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 The breakup last year was mutual and thank you for your response Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Yes you said it was mutual because you were both going through something personal and had to be on your own. But when he met her, he suddenly is not going through something personal any more, and doesn't have to be on his own any more? Or was it just you that was going through something personal and wanted to be alone, and you assumed he would wait for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionalperson Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Nope, I never thought of ever getting back with him honestly.. I didn't make him wait either, I just focused on my family and school. When he came back to me this year I thought hey, why not give it a shot again? But yeah... Now I found out about the other girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author emotionalperson Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 (edited) Sorry if I'm confusing, I'm just kinda down and have a hard time talking about this. The solution to this issue is probably so obvious right? But here I am anyway... my mother and best friend keep telling me I'm just being paranoid and over thinking things I guess what I'm also asking is if there's any way to make this work out? Or is breaking up the only definite answer? Edited February 21, 2017 by emotionalperson Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Sorry if I'm confusing Yes, it is kind of confusing, you haven't given much info to go on here. It's not clear to me whether you two broke up because of something personal you were going through, something personal that both of you were going through, or whether he magically wasn't going through something personal any more when he met her... which would suggest the "something personal" was simply a ruse to break up. You said you both needed to be alone, but he didn't seem to need to be alone since he was chasing her? I guess what I'm also asking is if there's any way to make this work out? Or is breaking up the only definite answer? There is no way to make anything work out, ever. Either it will work out or it won't. You have to make a judgement call on whether you think it's going to work or not. If not, then you might as well break up now and not waste any time. If you think it will work then the only way to find out for sure is to carry on. There's no guarantee either way. Personally I think (based on the info given so far) there's a pretty high chance it won't work out, for the reasons above. But at the end of the day it's you who needs to make that call. Link to post Share on other sites
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