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I messed up... Should I get another chance?


brokenheart1988

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brokenheart1988

So I lost someone I thought was the love of my life because of my actions. We fell madly in love about one year ago this month and everything was great. She was head over heels I was head over heels. We would have fun going out together, partying, and just watching movies on the couch but then somethings started to bother her.

 

Specifically my lack of self control when it came to drinking. I do not drink often but when I do I end up going 100mph and drink too much. I am not aggressive or mean when drunk but sloppy and she finds it extremely unattractive because she has had a bad past with alcoholism in her family. We talked about and and I told her it would not come up again but eventually it did and we had our first break up. This one did not last too long but I made her a promise that I would not do it again but after a few months I slipped up again. This cycle continued and it ended up happening three times in total.

 

She told me that she is in love with me and saw herself marrying me but has lost her attraction after seeing me in this state. I want to get better and I am going to speak with a counselor about my self-control issue but what can I do with her in the meantime? Should I continue trying to reach out to her or give her time.

 

We did not really have formal closure to our relationship she just kind of cut me off. I am still crazy about her and she is an incredible girl, I cannot forgive myself because I know that I caused these issues. We are both 27 and going out and partying is pretty common in our circle of friends. She has even gotten blackout drunk on me a few times and I have had to deal with her.

 

I know I broke promises and let her down. She said she is so heartbroken that this has happened to us. But my question is how can I fix this because that is all I want. I cannot think about anything else.

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I'd leave it to her if she wants to initiate contact. Often in romantic relationships one seemingly small thing can turn you right off someone, it takes over your whole perception of the person. You don't want to be that annoying dude who just couldn't accept the end of the relationship and kept bugging her for years afterwards......

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Partying is one thing, but drinking until oblivion is another. The inability to control your stopping point says that you need help. At this stage of the relationship, what good would it do you to get back with her if the next time you drink too much you wrap yourself around a tree?

 

 

You need to fix that piece inside yourself first.... it should be your number one priority really. I understand how heartbreak hurts, but it's nothing compared to want could happen if this is unchecked.

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