BlueSteel109 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Hey all, I have created one other somewhat lengthy post here if you want the whole story. It's not necessary for my current question though. I will add the link below here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/523664-not-sure-if-she-wants-me-back It's been about 8 months NC/since we broke up. After we broke up she was with someone else within a week who was definitely in the picture before we broke up. Last I heard they are still together. She has left me so many breadcrumbs since then which I have ignored because it was unacceptable to me. Most of which were text messages that seemed meaningless. The biggest breadcrumb was coming over to my parents when I wasn't home and talking to my parents about how I'm doing. Yesterday I received a pretty long text. It included a picture of a romantic spot I took her to by a lake for dinner a long time ago. Talking about how she appreciates the memory and all the memories we had together. That the 3.5 yrs we had together was the best time of her life. She misses me. Then this one specific line that stuck out to me "You are and always will be the love of my life" followed by like a 5th sorry for everything I have ever put you through. I suppose I'm looking for some guidance here. I didn't reply, yet. I don't know if I am going to. I have finally learned to live without her. Would you consider this as an indication that she's wants to reconcile? And would you reply to this? Thank you everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
starpower Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) The question is do you want to get back with her? You should think about that, not just in the short term, but in the long term. Personally, I know in myself, I would find it hard to build any long-term future with someone like that, even though the urge to reconcile would be strong, I would continue with NC. That's not the kind of partner I would want to build a future with. But that's a question for you to answer. As for her intentions I don't know, its possible she does want to get back together, or she's just fishing for some validation, for her own selfish needs. Edited October 14, 2015 by starpower 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Would I reply to that? Nope. Summoning my inner Chi TownD here (he posted this on my thread after I received a breadcrumb): "Okay, respond or not.....Well, why are you in NC in the first place? Because, she lied to you and was out on a date with [someone else] while she was still supposed to be your girl. She put more of a value on going out on a date with this dude rather than being faithful to you. He asked her out and she said "yes" without any regard to you or your relationship. Without any regard on your feelings if you were to find out. She felt it was worth the risk. Now, after reading that, do you still feel like writing her? She made the choice to go with another dude. That was HER choice. Whether that was a mistake, that's a mistake she'll have to live with, because you don't have to. " Guess what? Five months after I got that breadcrumb from her, she was engaged. You're not over her completely. She's with someone else. Block. Delete. Ignore. If she wants you back, she'll tell you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 No. Not at all. She didn't say that she wants you back, so there's nothing to respond to. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Yeah, no. Just no. This girl wants you to want her but that's all it is. She's pulling at your emotional strings and for why? Just because she sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Hey all, I have created one other somewhat lengthy post here if you want the whole story. It's not necessary for my current question though. I will add the link below here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/523664-not-sure-if-she-wants-me-back It's been about 8 months NC/since we broke up. After we broke up she was with someone else within a week who was definitely in the picture before we broke up. Last I heard they are still together. She has left me so many breadcrumbs since then which I have ignored because it was unacceptable to me. Most of which were text messages that seemed meaningless. The biggest breadcrumb was coming over to my parents when I wasn't home and talking to my parents about how I'm doing. Yesterday I received a pretty long text. It included a picture of a romantic spot I took her to by a lake for dinner a long time ago. Talking about how she appreciates the memory and all the memories we had together. That the 3.5 yrs we had together was the best time of her life. She misses me. Then this one specific line that stuck out to me "You are and always will be the love of my life" followed by like a 5th sorry for everything I have ever put you through. I suppose I'm looking for some guidance here. I didn't reply, yet. I don't know if I am going to. I have finally learned to live without her. Would you consider this as an indication that she's wants to reconcile? And would you reply to this? Thank you everyone. I am going to leave the bolded parts here. If you're okay with the first two bolded parts, then by all means respond. The third bolded line is the reason that you shouldn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretel Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Sounds very confusing. 3 1/2 years is a long time, and maybe it's worth talking to her and asking her why she keeps messaging you and visiting your family. We all make mistakes sometimes and maybe she is realizing hers. Do you feel like she could be honest with you about why she left you or does she just seem crazy? If you think she is just being fickle and you honestly can live without her, than maybe that is the best thing. Sorry to not have a more definite opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Would I reply to that? Nope. Summoning my inner Chi TownD here (he posted this on my thread after I received a breadcrumb): "Okay, respond or not.....Well, why are you in NC in the first place? Because, she lied to you and was out on a date with [someone else] while she was still supposed to be your girl. She put more of a value on going out on a date with this dude rather than being faithful to you. He asked her out and she said "yes" without any regard to you or your relationship. Without any regard on your feelings if you were to find out. She felt it was worth the risk. Now, after reading that, do you still feel like writing her? She made the choice to go with another dude. That was HER choice. Whether that was a mistake, that's a mistake she'll have to live with, because you don't have to. " Guess what? Five months after I got that breadcrumb from her, she was engaged. You're not over her completely. She's with someone else. Block. Delete. Ignore. If she wants you back, she'll tell you. I'll have to remember that for my future breadcrumbs as well. To the OP, don't respond. NC really is the best option. The only thing ever to reply to is a "I've made a huge mistake! Oh my God I'll do anything to fix that!" and even then it's to tread so lightly you wouldn't break a blade of grass. She sad she appreciated the memories, said some nice words, blah blah blah. She would have actually made a physical right out effort, but she didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueSteel109 Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 For the most part you all seem to agree that not messaging her back is the best option. I'm typically pretty good at not letting these things get to me. I needed some time to get my head together because this breadcrumb was a bit different than her others. I should have included this in the first message, so I will include it below. Try to imagine your ex sending you something like this and how you would feel right after: *picture of lake* "Do you remember when we had dinner here at the lake? I've been here so many times thinking about what I put you through. I really miss you. The 3.5 years with you were the best time of my life, but it was a very big lesson for me. You have taught me so much and I will never forget you. Hopefully one day we can talk and maybe be friends again. You were and always will be the love of my life. I hope one day you make a girl as happy as you made me. I'm really sorry about everything" Wasn't that sweet of her to send me a heart filled text like that. Something to make me remember how we had so many good times and how we were so happy together. That was really thoughtful of her. But hold on! Last time I checked, if someone is happy they don't go running around with another guy behind your back, let alone multiple guys throughout the entire relationship. So this is all bull ****. She's doing the same thing to this guy now that she did with me. You can't sit there and say you've learned a lesson, you miss the love of your life, then go home to another guy who you still continue to bang. Well apparently she can. Even if she didn't mean any of it and was just fishing, it's still shows no respect to him and also tells me that she still doesn't know how to break up with someone before making irrational decisions that will jeopardize the relationship anyways. I'm not trying to be with her, so she can stay with that dude, put him through the same bull **** I went through, and then continue to go to that spot by the lake while he's not around to think about what the **** she did. I do appreciate all of your feedback. I tend to run to advice when I start thinking about doing something I know is a bad idea. Thanks for all your support. Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 the real question is- could you ever trust her again? answer that first and then do what you gotta do. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts