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Should I tell him I'm doing No Contact?


nellbell86

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I am torn and would like advice from dumpees and dumpers as to what would be the best route. I have read so much online I think I'm getting square eyes lol, and the advice is conflicting, alot say to just "drop off the face of the earth", not announcing NC or anything to your ex, just doing it, that will have the most profound affect because they won't see it coming and it will make them think twice about what they have done, what they've expected from your reactions, etc.

But then other advice suggests to 'announce' the NC, saying something to them along the lines of "I respect your decision and feelings about our relationship, and I will give you the space and accept your choice. I wish you all the best", and that this would be a better way of doing it because you are letting them know that you are being mature about it and respecting their feelings, that this may put you in a better light in their eyes.

I'm wondering though in my case, as I have already gone through nearly 5 weeks of begging/pleading, messaging about how great our relationship was, he needs to give us a chance, etc, I don't know if it's too late for the 'accepting NC text' and if I just need to go straight to NC.

 

Please read my full story that I will post shortly in this forum called "My forever love - our story" to get more of an insight into where I am coming from before answering if you like.

 

Thanks so much, this site has really helped me keep sane lately!

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No, he is a big boy and can figure it out.

 

He knows where to find you.

 

You have done enough, too much. Time to pour energy into rebuilding your life.

 

NC all the way. It is for you. Your NC is none of his business.

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Some people like to announce they are going NC, especially if they are still cordial with the ex. I took the opposite route (even though my ex and I had said we would discuss ways to stay together--he was moving to another state). Basically, I just quit responding to his emails because he put us on the back burner and wanted to figure out other things in his life first. I haven't heard from since....almost 3 months NC. he was probably relieved.

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Last time I was dumped it was over the phone, so I just hung up as soon as she said "I'm not happy with us anymore"=click. She tried calling and texts to explain, but I ignored them.

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My ex knew I could have nothing do with her if we broke up, we broke up, I went no contact, no contact is to spare you from feeling worse and is meant as a means to move on, if your using it to get him back your doing it wrong.

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