DeusEx737 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Hi all, I need some advice, I broke up with my Ex a couple months back due to trust problems in the relationships. I think maybe we just didn't really communicate well with eachother. I had recovered from a breakup with my ex-fiancé of 3 yrs and she had never had a bf. I'm 30 and shes 24 and not a very emotionally expressive person at heard. (Takes after her Dad more than her mum who had a similar problem) Thing is I broke stuff off and later regreted the decision realising my mistakes throughout the relationship. She wanted to be friends which I thought was okay but then I realised I couldn't do it and said I still loved her and it would never work. She was disappointed. I attempted NC ( could of done better mind ) and eventually tried to explain that I had realised my mistakes and that I wanted to try again. The pain of the breakup really has shown me I had been an idiot at times but hey people make mistakes. I decided to try and be friends after the first month and made an effort to contact her and she chatted with me over FB she said she didn't want me "begging" her back lol not as though I was going to beg in the slightest its not like I cheated on her or something! geez So we chatted and in the end the conversation got emotional and I tried to explain that I had changed and that I really wanted a chance to show her this (not that she was perfect either) and she said she needed to see it and she was technically single but not ready to date (don't know what that means) but she seemed open to the idea of trying again a bit in the future. I wasn't convinced and asked her not to mess around with my emotions and she said she didn't think we could be together again short or long term which I thought deep down was what she felt. So to finish we ended up chatting via text about stuff trying to be amicable and apologising for any bad things said during the breakup. I said I didn't think friends was possible and she kind of agreed I told her exactly what my feelings were for her, that is till loved her and wanted to make another go of things but she didn't reply that evening. I thought maybe she ignored it and took that as a sign that she was just not caring about it at all so I asked her not to contact me again. Next day she txts me saying "Am on holidat atm. So cant message easily. Speak at the end of the week" I really don't know if shes just playing around or if wants to talk I made a couple of suggestions of when we could meet and be proactive and left it with her and told her to enjoy her holiday. I just want your opinions if maybe shes got another guy or if shes just playing me around or if it sounds like she might be serious as I don't want to waste my time or emotions on someone who isn't going to show respect. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Is this the same "ex" from 2 months ago, that you decided WAS being "manipulative" just yesterday or a different "ex" that you broke up with "a couple of months ago" that you're also unsure of, now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DeusEx737 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Haha ok ill be blunt its the same girl, guess I love her still I'm just trying to get some advice from outside the situation. So yeah if you look at the story as a whole if you happen to have seen that other post then please let me know what you think. This only happened today so its kind of an update on the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 So, yesterday (based on what had happened up until that point), you wondered if she was "manipulating" you. After others responded, you concluded that she was "manipulating" you. You had a conversation with her between yesterday and today in which she indicated she's on holiday and will talk with you when she returns, and now you're wondering if she's "leading you on". Isn't "leading you on" a form of "manipulating" someone? Also - aside from being away on holiday - what has she done in the past 24 hours to change the flirting with other men in front of you, belittling you in front of her family, and being so completely disrespectful to you? There seems to be a LOT left out of the story... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DeusEx737 Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Well not a lots been left out the story to be honest. I mean from my point of view I probably annoyed her a lot with the jealousy and insecurity I demonstrated at times but then I put that down to my gut instincts. And no it doesn't change what happened between us I just hoped she might have realised the way she treated me wasn't great either at times. But then no relationship is perfect people make mistakes. The difficulty I have is that when I was out of work she helped me to get back on my feet and has also shown a lot of support to me and that's what confuses me really when we broke up she was really upset. So on one hand I get the impression she is subtly manipulative and on the other she has been an amazing friend to me. I'm sorry if that's confusing I'm feeling pretty confused over the whole thing. All I know is I love her and that's a difficult thing to just ignore. So coming here was to get an outside opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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