Were these legitimate deal breakers?

[elsie22114]

1 month ago I ended a 2 month long relationship with a very charming, good looking guy (he is 31, I am 24). We fell very hard for one another, very quickly and within 2 weeks we started an exclusive relationship (we were both happily single, neither of us were looking for a relationship, looking back on this we went into it way too fast). This guy had this wonderful understanding of me and made me feel so very special and important. He also was very supportive of me and also very sensitive and caring. We also had an amazing sexual chemistry which I had never experienced with anyone before.

I guess I got a bit wary, because although he was so wonderful, on some days he would be quite a different person. He could be quite superficial. I guess this made me realize that we had quite different interests and values (although we did have quite a few interests in common, majority of the time neither of us took much of an interest in the same things).

He would also gush about sexy Instagram girls and the stunning model waitresses at the restaurant his friend owned. He would also boast to me about girls who hit on him when his band was on tour. At first I tried to see the humour in it as I never really have been much of a jealous person, but he had cheated on his last girlfriend (a kiss) of 4 years and I guess this got me a bit paranoid. Not only have that, it made me felt like he wasn’t taking the relationship too seriously.

There were also times that he could be quite abrasive, in that he would get in these moods where he would literally challenge every single topic/interest/opinion/story I would bring up, almost like he was on some sort of a rampage trying to argue for the sake of it. After this had happened on a number of occasions, I started to build a bit of a wall and I was feeling quite self-conscious around him. To add to that, he was also very critical of me and of other people, which made me somewhat question his character.

I did try to address all these things with him, but he just seemed to evade responsibility by getting super defensive and made me feel like I was picking on him. Because of all of these factors, I was really concerned that we weren't compatible.

I had my last straw when I took him out to brunch on his birthday and he was behaving quite abrasively again, arguing for the sake of it and I just felt really tense, like I really couldn’t be comfortable with myself around him. I broke it off with him the day after. I then I started receiving some angry text messages from him, telling me that "my ex was a pushover, which is why I am so sensitive" and "because my ex was so spineless, he had to put up with 7 years of bad habits" and "good luck to the next guy". I have gotten some advice on other forums online and many people say that this behaviour is quite normal and that I am overreacting about this.

Many people in one of my recent posts have stated that I was asking too much of this guy and that I was too hard on him. This has all lead me to have some serious doubts as to whether I did the right thing breaking up with him and whether I really blew a good oppourtunity. My ex of 7 years treated me exceptionally well and I am worried that for this reason I expect too much.

Basically I want to ask, does it sound reasonable that I broke it off with this guy or was I just being pedantic? Should I have tried to give it more time and attempted to salvage this before breaking it off?

[fireflywy]

One word: YES!

 

He sounds very arrogant and very into himself. You dodged a HUGE bullet.

 

Also, forget what the other people say it was ONLY two months. What matters is how YOU felt and you said you felt quite uncomfortable. That's all that matters.

 

Now, let's be honest and make sure you assess whether or not you're even asking these questions because you're giving him a pass in the looks department. Trust me, if any way you're caught up on that, DONT BE. Because that way lies ruin.

Edited August 2, 2015 by fireflywy