finalendeavor Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 How many of you have dumped someone and regretted it? How many of you have been dumped and the other person regretted it? How long did it take for the regret to happen, in both situations? How long were you guys together? Why did the dumping happen in the first place? Let's hear full stories, this might be interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I've never dumped someone and regretted it. I dumped them for a reason,sometimes several. Sometimes that/those reason(s) was me, sometimes they weren't. Did I feel bad? Yes..Did I make the right decision? Yes. You can't always fix what's broken..sometimes you just have to get something new instead...or do without. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thistooshallpass21 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I agree with the above statement but also disagree. That's the problem with this generation when something's broken it's always lets throw it away instead of work on fixing the issues. No matter what there are going to be some issues in a relationship 7 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I've ended all my relationships in my life. I've never regretted the decisions either.. I had thought the decision through thoroughly and knew in my heart it was better to let them go so they could find someone else and vs. versa. I never went back to any of them nor did I ever have the desire. I was dumped once. My last ex did cuz I wasn't in a good place to end it though I should of. I VANISHED from her life. Blocked her on everything and avoided anywhere I might run into her. Six months after she ended it w/absolutely zero contact from either side, she reappeared. First knocking on my door. I was napping. Then a long, apologetic text that I ignored. Then a series of emails wanting me back, blah, blah.. She was told that I moved on and was in a loving relationship and good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aboucher21 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I recently broke up with an amazing girl almost 4 months ago. We got along great and were best friends but something always seemed to be missing. She isn't a romantic or affectionate person and I am and it took a toll on me. She has minimal interest in sex and it caught up to us. After continually being rejected trying to have sex, kissing, etc with her I broke it off with her. I did talk with her several times about how the lack of affection and intimacy was affecting me as I felt we didn't connect on a deeper level and were more friends than anything. Nothing got better and after growing annoyed, resentful and other adjectives I ended it. I do miss her greatly. I know that passion fades eventually but we were together for only 6 months and felt like it shouldn't have been that way so soon. I feel like an ******* sometimes and some people may think I am selfish but I gave this girl everything I had and it just felt like there was this wall I could not get over with her. I do wish I tried harder but I did tell her what my position was and I was hurt and in pain at the time. In the long run I feel it is best for me but I am still struggling with it to this day. Sorry for the venting lol. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 How many of you have been dumped and the other person regretted it? raises hand How long did it take for the regret to happen? about 2 weeks. How long were you guys together? 13 years Why did the dumping happen in the first place? I busted him going to his new girlfriend's condo when he butt dialed me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Every single person I've broke up with I've regretted (for a short time, until the next new love of my life appears) although the breakup was for the right reasons. They all came back, whether I did the breaking or them, some within weeks others around 3 months (after the GIGS reality check). All em them left it too late and I'd moved on... Moving on seems impossible when pain is close, but it's really not. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I had two ltrs where I was a fool who got gigs and left them First one I reached after 27 months and seconda after 19 months. I would reconcile if they haven't moved on or were at least receptive to me when I reappeared. Also I wasn't at very best back then .Missed the way they used to make me feel. I don't consider stories where ex reappeared after a few months a breakup at all. Reasons are twofold - first no one change in couple of months and second same destructive behavior will emerge. Those thing have expiration date printed all over them . Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I've been in two long-term (2+ years) relationships and one (7 year) marriage in my adult life, all of which ended in different ways. In the first LTR, I was the dumper and regretted it in the short term, after about 2 weeks. We broke up over differences in religion, and she refused my attempts to reconcile. But looking back 13 years later I realize it was for the best. In the second LTR, I was also the dumper and never regretted it, though it was also the most satisfying relationship I've ever had physically, so I did miss that aspect of it. But I felt abused mentally and emotionally, so I would never have wanted to go back. In my marriage, I was the dumpee and after 9 months my STBXW has yet to express any regret or remorse. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I recently broke up with an amazing girl almost 4 months ago. We got along great and were best friends but something always seemed to be missing. She isn't a romantic or affectionate person and I am and it took a toll on me. She has minimal interest in sex and it caught up to us. After continually being rejected trying to have sex, kissing, etc with her I broke it off with her. I did talk with her several times about how the lack of affection and intimacy was affecting me as I felt we didn't connect on a deeper level and were more friends than anything. Nothing got better and after growing annoyed, resentful and other adjectives I ended it. I do miss her greatly. I know that passion fades eventually but we were together for only 6 months and felt like it shouldn't have been that way so soon. I feel like an ******* sometimes and some people may think I am selfish but I gave this girl everything I had and it just felt like there was this wall I could not get over with her. I do wish I tried harder but I did tell her what my position was and I was hurt and in pain at the time. In the long run I feel it is best for me but I am still struggling with it to this day. Sorry for the venting lol. This stood out to me, my ex said something was missing too. He said it was the passion/affection that he wanted to get back, but most times I made moves on him or tried to kiss him/be affectionate he pushed me away, go figure. It was essentially him complaining about something that he wanted back on track but had stopped doing himself. I was always a very passionate and affectionate person so I don't know what went wrong on his end and why he complained so much about wanting it back yet he was the one who stopped. OP, I had an ex of 3 years leave me around 5 years ago and to this day he still regrets it deeply. I don't care and have never looked back since I got over the initial heartbreak. My most recent ex stopped being the boyfriend he once was and was confused about his feelings. Nothing had triggered it, it was just a problem that snowballed and eventually tore us apart. I stood by him throughout all of his doubts and confusion, even though he was treating me terribly because of it. I was a good girlfriend to him, it was him with the issue and it wasn't because of something I had or hadn't done. Whether he will or does regret this, I don't know. I can say though that he lost someone who truly loved him and did ALOT for him and also put up with a lot of his BS that many others wouldn't tolerate. I wouldn't go back for many reasons though. I think deep down he knows this but is far too arrogant to admit his wrong doings. So yes.. People can and do have regrets. Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalendeavor Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 So how do we feel about exes that you know have only had about two or three days to think about it? What about exes that you've literally not heard from since they broke it off? I've heard tales of guys contacting girls after a breakup, even though they haven't tried to speak to her in quite awhile. Seems really far-fetched, but it's such a blow to your confidence; like the time you spent together was nothing but a dream. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 2 or 3 days to think about breaking up? They're usually the ones that regret it because decisions like that aren't usually rash, unless of course the other person has done something unforgivable. I haven't heard from my ex since we broke up. I still don't understand the reasons. I did the dumping but only because he didn't have the balls to! I think he just got bored. We stopped doing fun things together because he was always too tired and we got stuck in a rut (it's his fault but he'd never admit that. I always suggested going out to places but he wanted to just lay in bed watching TV). We spoke briefly not so long ago and he told me basically that his life isn't rainbows and butterflies since I left. That's his problem though, he made his bed. That behaviour can sometimes make us feel disposable but I can sleep at night knowing I gave him and us 100% and it's helped me realise how much love I have to give, and how patient I am and how hard I try. I'd hold the door open for anyone to leave who isn't sure about me anymore for no good reason and/or doesn't have the energy to try anymore. I want someone on the same page as me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalendeavor Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Meli22- Your words are so inspiring, and when I find myself having a good day, those are my exact thought processes. If they're willing to leave and throw away compatibility and amazing chemistry, they're not right for you. Feeling ultimately expendable is not something you should be feeling in a legitimate, loving relationship. Thank you for clearing my mind and helping me get back on track again- I'll refer to your words whenever I'm feeling poopy. Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I seem to be stupid because I've only ever dumped nice girls who treated me well, I've been dumped several times and nobody ever bothered coming back, the ones I dumped I eventually tried to woo again after a few months, unfortunately it didn't work and that was that, don't blame them for turning me down, only wish some decent warm hearted members on here would take that approach to their exes Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Meli22- Your words are so inspiring, and when I find myself having a good day, those are my exact thought processes. If they're willing to leave and throw away compatibility and amazing chemistry, they're not right for you. Feeling ultimately expendable is not something you should be feeling in a legitimate, loving relationship. Thank you for clearing my mind and helping me get back on track again- I'll refer to your words whenever I'm feeling poopy. You're most welcome sometimes I feel bad and like I was just disposed of but really, I do think it's his loss and not mine. Whether he sees that or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I seem to be stupid because I've only ever dumped nice girls who treated me well, I've been dumped several times and nobody ever bothered coming back, the ones I dumped I eventually tried to woo again after a few months, unfortunately it didn't work and that was that, don't blame them for turning me down, only wish some decent warm hearted members on here would take that approach to their exes It's always the way! People dump to see if they can find better, or they don't realise what they had until it's gone. That's life. It's how you learn from it. Next time when you know you have something good, remember this I've never dumped anyone who treated me right. Even when they treated me wrong I stayed, because when I love someone I never give up. I've learnt now though that love sometimes isn't enough and it's best to put your well being first. If I meet someone who treats me the same way that I treat them and makes me feel loved, I won't be walking away from it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 only wish some decent warm hearted members on here would take that approach to their exes Why? If someone tells me that they've demoted me, why would I go back to have that point not only reiterated, but have me embarrass myself again as well in the process? Decency has nothing to do with that. Being dumped is being told that one's presence is no longer required because that person wants something better or different than who one is. Throwing one's self at that person who doesn't already want them is stupid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author finalendeavor Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Kendahke, I think you misinterpreted what Chronotrgr said; I had to reread it a few time too. I think he met that he'd like to see decent people turn down individuals who dump them only to try and come back later. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 i was dumped my 1 ex because he was questioning his sexuality and because we grew apart. i was dumped by 2nd ex because he wanted to go back with his ex whom he loved and because we just never "clicked" .. i was cool with both. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts