I've broken no-contact and he said "give it time"

[An0nymiss666]

We broke up a little over two weeks ago. It wasn't a nasty relationship or breakup. I just didn't think the break up was necessary and I expressed that to him. He blocked me on all social media but didn't block my number. I thought I would do well with no contact, but over the past couple of weeks I've texted him a few times, like how I truly missed him, and hoped things were going well at work, etc. I called him twice, didn't leave a voicemail or anything.

 

He never answered but texted me out of the blue a couple of days ago. He said he wasn't trying to be mean but I needed to stop texting him and calling him or he'd feel like he'd have to completely block me, and said that I needed to give this time if we are ever going to talk again. I told him I agreed and was glad he thought so too....but now I'm not sure how to take what he said. Or if I'm just over thinking and worrying too much about everything.

 

He is not one for being friends with your ex when you break up, that's one thing we talked about at one point when we dated. So clearly he must know I'm not just trying to be his buddy. To me he really has no other reason to "give it time" other than the possibility of reconciliation. He's not shy, I mean he's pretty cut and dry and will say how he feels.

 

I wanted to spare a long post but I just have to say that I don't think reconciliation is impossible, because I just don't believe that kind of damage has been done. But I know it might not happen as well.

 

I know everyone pushes NC NC NC don't get back together, and so on blah blah blah. I guess I'm still looking for a little advice or encouragement here. I know it might not happen. I know I can't sit around pining for him all day. But sometimes people can and do get back together.

 

1.) I know I have to try to stick to no contact as best as I can without a question...and give it time.

 

2.) I know I need to focus on ME. I'm still focusing on my own life, my job, making money, my friends and my trying to better myself.

 

3.) I know I can't wait around forever for him.

 

However, no matter what, what he said will still be in the back of my mind. I mean, I know either it's going to work out, or it won't, and that's that. But part of me wants to reach back out to him at some point and ask about it to make sure we're on the same page. Know what I mean? I just don't want to be thinking we can reconcile IF that's not even a thought in his mind...

[Simon Phoenix]

He said that so you'll leave him alone in the short term. He was looking for something to say to get you to stop pestering him. There's nothing there that suggests that he wants to reconcile with you. At best, he's fine with putting you way in the back as a safety net to use if all else fails.

 

Reconciliation is not impossible, very few things are impossible, but nothing about your situation suggests that it's a remote possibility, much less probable. You need to work on you for you, not wait for him like a hopeless pud. If he wants you back, he needs to be the one to do it and he needs to make it clear. Don't take any future communication as an indicator of it "because he knows how you feel". While he might know how you feel, it doesn't mean that it's how he feels.

 

Cliffs: Stop reading into things that aren't there. Just leave him be and do you.

[AlexfromBoston]

We broke up a little over two weeks ago. It wasn't a nasty relationship or breakup. I just didn't think the break up was necessary and I expressed that to him. He blocked me on all social media but didn't block my number. I thought I would do well with no contact, but over the past couple of weeks I've texted him a few times, like how I truly missed him, and hoped things were going well at work, etc. I called him twice, didn't leave a voicemail or anything.

 

He never answered but texted me out of the blue a couple of days ago. He said he wasn't trying to be mean but I needed to stop texting him and calling him or he'd feel like he'd have to completely block me, and said that I needed to give this time if we are ever going to talk again. I told him I agreed and was glad he thought so too....but now I'm not sure how to take what he said. Or if I'm just over thinking and worrying too much about everything.

 

He is not one for being friends with your ex when you break up, that's one thing we talked about at one point when we dated. So clearly he must know I'm not just trying to be his buddy. To me he really has no other reason to "give it time" other than the possibility of reconciliation. He's not shy, I mean he's pretty cut and dry and will say how he feels.

 

I wanted to spare a long post but I just have to say that I don't think reconciliation is impossible, because I just don't believe that kind of damage has been done. But I know it might not happen as well.

 

I know everyone pushes NC NC NC don't get back together, and so on blah blah blah. I guess I'm still looking for a little advice or encouragement here. I know it might not happen. I know I can't sit around pining for him all day. But sometimes people can and do get back together.

 

1.) I know I have to try to stick to no contact as best as I can without a question...and give it time.

 

2.) I know I need to focus on ME. I'm still focusing on my own life, my job, making money, my friends and my trying to better myself.

 

3.) I know I can't wait around forever for him.

 

However, no matter what, what he said will still be in the back of my mind. I mean, I know either it's going to work out, or it won't, and that's that. But part of me wants to reach back out to him at some point and ask about it to make sure we're on the same page. Know what I mean? I just don't want to be thinking we can reconcile IF that's not even a thought in his mind...

 

Anon, read through the forums hun, your situation isn't all that bad. At least he had the guts to tell you to leave him alone and give you space. Have you seen how many other women on this forum are being played or kept in reserve for a rainy day? Reconciliation wont be possible until you leave him be and give him space. Delete his number and go NC. Re-evaluate in a month or so.

[grok]

Anon, read through the forums hun, your situation isn't all that bad. At least he had the guts to tell you to leave him alone and give you space. Have you seen how many other women on this forum are being played or kept in reserve for a rainy day? Reconciliation wont be possible until you leave him be and give him space. Delete his number and go NC. Re-evaluate in a month or so.

 

THIS. I wish my boyfriend/ex? would have the balls to tell me to jump off a cliff so at least I know.

[KBarletta]

I just don't want to be thinking we can reconcile IF that's not even a thought in his mind...

 

You just broke up two weeks ago. That is no time at all. So, no, it's not a thought in his head at this point and isn't likely to be for a while.

 

If reconciliation is something you want (and it certainly sounds like it is at this point), then you HAVE to leave him alone. He has told you point blank that he wants time and space. If you don't give it to him, you not only look needy and lose respect in his eyes, you also upset him and make him more determined that he did the right thing by breaking up with you. All of which is bad for you.

 

So your only choice, if you have a chance, is to give him what he wants. I would advise NC for at least a month, maybe longer depending on how long you were together, before I even reached out with a text.

[AlexfromBoston]

THIS. I wish my boyfriend/ex? would have the balls to tell me to jump off a cliff so at least I know.

 

Grok, take it from me. Us men don't really appreciate what we had until its gone. the only way to rectify the situation is to forgive and forget. whatever happened between you two is in the past, now move on and get someone better. Eventually, he will see the errors of his ways. I feel as though we all do.