slipped halo Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I've been lucky in the sense that my long term bf who dumped me in October wants to try and rekindle things ... I was becoming too demanding and he had his head turned with university life but he couldn't deal with other guys taking an interest in me so here we are. He spent loads on me at xmas and we had time with his family but we haven't met up since start of semester. There always seems to be something in the way of him seeing me - I was free all last weekend and a) he wouldn't come over on the Friday night because he had a party and couldn't see me the following day because he would be too tired and hungover !! He has also said when we do meet he will only come for a couple of hours ( it's a 1 hour journey to my university) then go back . He won't even stay over which would mean we could spend more time , not sleeping together just spending time but he said he wants to 'see me' a few times first !! Why ? We were in a serious relationship , he already knows me !! Am I expecting too much here ? My mum says he is too self absorbed and immature (21) to treat me properly. Am I still on the back burner as I was just before he dumped me because I still don't feel like a priority . But then why come and see me at all ? Am so confused. Really could do with advice on how to handle this in an assertive way but not ending in a row ? Thank you for reading this Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) Honestly, it sounds like the same issues you had before the breakup are resurfacing. He's definitely not making you a priority by coming up with various excuses as to why he can't see you on certain days and then putting conditions on when he can. It seems like he wants to do things according to his terms. It doesn't sound like he's that invested or considerate of you and it also seems like he wants what he can't have, yet when he has you, he takes you for granted. Definitely has some growing up to do, for sure. I would let this one loose. You could talk it out to see if he's willing to compromise, but it seems like he's full of excuses and is immature, and I doubt things will change in the near future, as he's had 3 months to get his act in gear and nothing has changed. In that sense, you're probably not so lucky that he returned. He should have stayed away from you and saved you the hassle of dealing with the same old bs again. Edited January 25, 2015 by dyna85 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 IMO it doesn't matter how old you are, if you've got the hots for someone, you can't stop thinking about them and you do whatever it takes to BE with them. Understand he's just not into you right now. He's keeping you hanging with just enough hope. Believing you'll stay faithful even with these few breadcrumbs he's throwing your way. Knowing you'll be there while he's playing as hard as OW will allow. You're on the back burner and he's got you exactly where he wants you. I suggest you do the 180, NC, everything. See where it leads you... I hope its into the arms of someone who's SO INTO YOU your world shakes (after a good perusing of the landscape that is). Lion Heart . Link to post Share on other sites
Author slipped halo Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 IMO it doesn't matter how old you are, if you've got the hots for someone, you can't stop thinking about them and you do whatever it takes to BE with them. Understand he's just not into you right now. He's keeping you hanging with just enough hope. Believing you'll stay faithful even with these few breadcrumbs he's throwing your way. Knowing you'll be there while he's playing as hard as OW will allow. You're on the back burner and he's got you exactly where he wants you. I suggest you do the 180, NC, everything. See where it leads you... I hope its into the arms of someone who's SO INTO YOU your world shakes (after a good perusing of the landscape that is). Lion Heart .[ Thanks guys that just confirms what I thought .... I omitted to mention too one of his excuses why he wouldn't stay over was his mum wouldn't let him ... Beyond belief isn't it Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Yeah.... excuses excuses. We've all heard them from these little boys. Link to post Share on other sites
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