My story of getting my ex back.

[Jenmarie]

So, my ex (at the time) and I were together for two years. We actually met through an ex boyfriend of mine, but we clicked immediately. We became best friends and super close, and even when we were just friends, our friendship was so full of passion. He wanted a relationship with me pretty fast, but I wanted to wait before we jumped into things. I eventually was ready for a relationship, and from then on, our relationship was just everything I ever wanted. Affectionate, passionate, playful, fun, we had a really strong bond.

 

Things remained really well until the last 4 months of our relationship. I was going through a lot, I lost the majority of my friends and the dog my mother (who passed away) gave me died suddenly. The dog was the last thing I had of my mother and I had her for 10 years so it was really hit me hard. I had an untreated mental illness (bipolar disorder) and wasn't aware of it, stopped doing everything I loved, and I was practically a mother to my young autistic brother so that was very frustrating for me, because I felt like I was doing it all on my own. I also wasn't working at the time and that made me feel horrible as well. My boyfriend had a very stressful time too. He was really behind in school, and his mother has lupus so it was a really lot of pressure for him. So we were both really stressed out.

 

However, I handled my stress horribly. Since I was feeling so badly and alone due to the loss of my dog and friends, I clinged onto my boyfriend for comfort, always. That was a huge mistake on my part because I am responsible for my own happiness. In other words, I became "needy" and I didn't handle it well at all due to my untreated bipolar disorder. So I was all over the place. We would fight (we fought before but it became really unhealthy and almost a daily basis).

 

We got into a major fight one night, I was handling it so bad and I kept pushing and pushing to talk to him. So he blocked my number. The next morning, he broke up with me. Of course I began to cry and I asked him to reconsider, and he said no. He talked to me for almost an hour, then he told me not to talk to him, call him, text him nothing. The last thing I said was "You don't have to worry about that, because I deserve better."

 

And that was it. I kept quiet. NC. I told myself, it's not about him anymore. It's about me. I need to focus on myself. I can't focus on someone who doesn't want to be in my life anymore, no matter how much love I had for him. In the time I was in NC, I met a lot of friends. I forced myself to spend time with people. I gave myself time to cry and be alone, but I forced myself to have fun. Some days would be okay, then I'd be so sad to the point where I needed to break NC. No. Every time I felt the urge, I'd write notes to what I'd want to say to him in my iPhone so I wouldn't say it to him, or I would talk to a friend instead. I started going back to volunteer work I did, I got a job, and I used all my free time on myself. I got into new hobbies, I started riding my bike more, I had new interests. I got therapy and help with my emotional well being. I would break down sometimes, but I forced myself, to not break contact. I kept away from him, I read self help books. My brother gave me the best advice I could have ever gotten. "He wants you to be strong."

I stayed quiet for almost three months.

 

Then I don't know. I felt like I was, maybe, ready to talk to him. So I took a stab in the dark. I texted him and said, "Hey, want to see what I got at anime con?" Anime is a mutual interest of ours. He didn't text back for a few hours, then he finally texted me back. I ended up reading it, but it was late and I was in bed, so I decided I would text him sometime the next day. I eventually texted him back, and we had an amazing conversation about mutual interests. I didn't bring up the break up and he didn't either. I cut the conversation short, letting him know I was going to volunteer work, and he texted me back with "I'm very glad you're doing that again. We should definitely talk more, no?" I agreed and went on my way.

 

We slowly began to talk more. I would make sure there were gaps of our conversations, days, even a week. I didn't bring up the break up and just tried to have fun every time we spoke. Then I asked if I could call him sometime, and he agreed. We eventually spoke on the phone, and he was flirting! Good sign. I flirted back, laughed, and avoided negative conversation. THEN HE BROUGHT UP THE BREAK UP! I kept it short, saying, I understood why, no hard feelings and I understood what I put him through and I apologized. Then I changed the subject. Eventually I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie together, he agreed.

 

So, we watched a movie together and began spending time together, then one day while laying down next to each other, we just agreed to get back together and it was something he wanted. He told me how much he missed me during the break up. (Dumpers miss the dumpees too!) We had the biggest heart to heart and I was really happy.

 

So, that was almost a year ago! And we're still together. Right now, he is currently at his sister's for a week and he's texting me saying he can't wait until he gets home to be with me and calls me at night.

 

So, yes it is possible to get an ex back. But you need to focus on yourself, do what is best for you. A lot of people don't succeed because they make getting their ex back their main focus. YOU need to be the main focus, and whatever is meant to be, will fall into place.

[xUnknown]

YOU need to be the main focus, and whatever is meant to be, will fall into place.

 

So true.

 

During my breakup last year, I did just that. 3 months later, I was doing fantastic. Now, almost a year later, and being together for 8 more months, she broke up with me again - why? Because she didn't work on herself enough during our time off. She didn't do all the things she was going to do. She should have went to therapy to help find her happiness, because once again, she was relying on me for it.

 

I'm very happy to hear about your happy relationship. I wish you two all the best in the future =)

[David87]

Congratulations OP. Hope it lasts.