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To try or not to try...


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Ugh! That is the million dollar question...I am so completely torn over this. I love this man, I really do, but I just don't know if it will be worth it in the end to try to work this out.

 

Let me back up a bit...my BF and were together for two years. The first year was wonderful, full of fun, smiles, and love...the second year we took a turn for the worst. I came from a very terrible divorce (going on three years now) where I was cheated on, and just pretty much left, left to fend for myself and my children. Ex was around when he saw it fit with his schedule, well except for the one night a week that he requested with the children. He has been much better, might I add. He now has them two nights a week, and spends extra time with them. I went through so much torture with this divorce, and really just closed myself off, kept my heart guarded, and didn't let anybody in. Until I met my recent boyfriend. I had really no interest in dating, but I had an interest in him, but blew him off for a few months because I just wasn't ready. Then after a few months, I agreed to meet him out...that was two years ago this August. Things got a little hairy around the second year. I became extremely insecure, doubted what he was saying was true, questioned his every move (I know, it wasn't fair)! I began counseling to work on those feelings of insecurity, and things just didn't seem right with us. We broke things off for a bit, got back together, carried on for another 6 months, and then I started suspecting something...long story short, he became withdrawn, and I started "checking him out" more and more, on facebook, would drive by his house, and then one night, I saw a woman leaving his house...I stopped and called him out right then and there...He didn't know what to say....He apologized up and down, said how wrong it was, but it was nothing. I said having a woman at your house without my knowledge is wrong enough....

 

Again, long story short, I broke every thing off, as I would not be with another liar and cheated. Kept NC for a few weeks. He came to my house, we talked...He is trying, he really is...still swears it was nothing, but understands why I would think the way I do. We didn't talk or see each other for a month. Until this past Friday night. He asked me to go to dinner and talk...we did. We talked all night. He answered every question that I had. I really do love him, he makes me laugh, smile, feel good about myself....and so on. But I just can't stop thinking that there was more to this other woman. I know everyone says go with your gut, but my gut is so messed up from my Ex that I really don't know what to think. I want to work on things with him, but how do I really know if he's in it? He says he is, but how do I know. Why would he be so determined to work on this? Is it because he really does love me, or is it because he feels horrible about what he has done....Advice please...I need to know what you all would do. Thanks,

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travelbug1996

He wants to see if you're foolish enough to take him back after you saw with your own two eyes a woman leaving.

 

If you take him back he's probably gonna cheat again. I wouldn't do it.

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how would u feel if he stalked you?

Trust

If you are not ready to trust, then stop playing with his heart.

If you caught him in bed wuth someone else it's different but you just saw a woman leaving his house

You need time and space to yourself

Your mind is messed up

Tell him you need six months to get your head in order

Or else your relationship with him will blow up eventually

You need therapy big time

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