Jump to content

Dumpee should always end conversations first


Darren2013

Recommended Posts

There is something to be said about the LC version of playing hard to get. I think if you still desire to get back with your ex then LC but playing hard to get is the way to go.

 

My form of LC means no contact initiated on my end. Since my ex was the dumper then I let her initiate all the calls. Furthermore I make it a point to end the phone conversations first.

 

When dumpees end the conversations first then it kind of raises the curiosity of the dumpers as then they wonder why you are no longer desperate to stay on the phone for as long as possible. It gives the dumper impression that you have a life and are not making them a priority. You are not putting your life activities on hold just because they called.

 

So I wouldn't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes and then I would end the conversations first making sure that I end it while the conversation is on a high note. It sounds like a game but you gotta protect yourself. You want to give the impression that you aren't hanging on to every opportunity to talk to your ex dumper.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

One way you can end the phone conversation first is to say "Hey listen it is good to hear from you but I have to get going right now and get dinner ready for my girlfriend"

Link to post
Share on other sites
One way you can end the phone conversation first is to say "Hey listen it is good to hear from you but I have to get going right now and get dinner ready for my girlfriend"

 

That's a little much, I'd see right through that. But if you said:

 

I have another call coming in, I have to go.

 

or

 

Someone's at the door, I'll talk to you later.

 

Then, the ex can let their imagination run wild.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
One way you can end the phone conversation first is to say "Hey listen it is good to hear from you but I have to get going right now and get dinner ready for my girlfriend"

 

 

So what is the point of all of this? Are you trying to get her back?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
So what is the point of all of this? Are you trying to get her back?

 

No. I just want to play with her mind a bit for my own ego. Even if she wanted to come back I would take that as an opportunity to reject her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
FortunateSon
No. I just want to play with her mind a bit for my own ego. Even if she wanted to come back I would take that as an opportunity to reject her.

Don't waste your time doing this stuff. Take the high road, be the bigger person.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix

So you've been keeping in contact with her for three years after she dumped you so you can ice-burn her if she ever decides she wants to resume a romantic relationship with you? Seems like a lot of work for minimal payoff, but that's just me I guess.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
No. I just want to play with her mind a bit for my own ego. Even if she wanted to come back I would take that as an opportunity to reject her.

 

Jeez, that's pretty mean, and I'd be willing to bet she never wants you back. You've been holding a grudge for 3 years. I think it's time to put that to rest and move on.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon

Top 10 other things dumpees should always do:

 

1. Wash their hands after using the bathroom.

2. Say Please and Thank You.

3. Make eye contact when shaking hands.

4. Eat all their vegetables.

5. Make sure their shoelaces stay tied.

6. Brush their teeth.

7. Bathe regularly.

8. Make sure to eat a balanced, healthy diet.

9. Get enough sleep every night.

10. Breathe.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

You sound bitter towards her. Why are you still talking to her? You say for your ego...No, it's not, it's because you still have feelings for her. Be true to yourself and clear of your goals. Unless you're 16 years old do this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You sound bitter towards her. Why are you still talking to her? You say for your ego...No, it's not, it's because you still have feelings for her. Be true to yourself and clear of your goals. Unless you're 16 years old do this.

 

 

Your post is very condescending. There's nothing more arrogant than for a faceless stranger to claim that they know what I'm thinking better than I know myself. I don't give a lot of credence to these kind of posts. So you just wasted your time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

This is an old thread that deals more with the playing hard to get version of LC. It's 10 years old but the advice in it is still valid about ending phone conversations first. Also if your ex was the dumper and they ask to meet up with you don't jump on the first opportunity. Make sure you decline and counteroffer for another date.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/41536-no-contact-rule-does-work-ex-has-called

Edited by Darren2013
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
There is something to be said about the LC version of playing hard to get. I think if you still desire to get back with your ex then LC but playing hard to get is the way to go.

 

My form of LC means no contact initiated on my end. Since my ex was the dumper then I let her initiate all the calls. Furthermore I make it a point to end the phone conversations first.

 

When dumpees end the conversations first then it kind of raises the curiosity of the dumpers as then they wonder why you are no longer desperate to stay on the phone for as long as possible. It gives the dumper impression that you have a life and are not making them a priority. You are not putting your life activities on hold just because they called.

 

So I wouldn't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes and then I would end the conversations first making sure that I end it while the conversation is on a high note. It sounds like a game but you gotta protect yourself. You want to give the impression that you aren't hanging on to every opportunity to talk to your ex dumper.

 

I definitely wouldn't do anything along the lines of what was suggested later on in this thread, about saying you have to get off the phone to go make dinner for your girlfriend. That's VERY easily perceived by the other party as an attempt to strike jealousy. And whether you were actually trying to make them jealous or not, it's all about how they perceive it. Their perception is going to be what they believe to be true. And if, in their eyes, you're trying to instill jealousy, they'll only see you as petty and immature.

 

That critique aside, I will say that I think that this individual post definitely has merit.

 

You SHOULD end the conversation first, absolutely. You should keep it short and sweet. And there are many reasons to that:

 

1. "Always leave them wanting more." And that's not JUST in regard to an ex. That goes for EVERYONE. You never want to overstay your welcome, even with a friend.

 

2. "People pursue that which retreats from them." And as gamey as that may sound, it IS a fact. People like challenges. Earning something after having to work for it makes the prize that much more appreciated in the end.

 

3. You definitely don't want to appear clingy, as the original post suggests. Desperation will turn any hopes of reconciliation (even a friendship) sour fast.

 

4. You should actually have a life to be living. Getting off the phone because you have things to do shouldn't be a ruse, it should be factual. You SHOULD be moving forward with your life.

 

5. Mystery begets intrigue. If you want things to move forward with this person (maybe to start meeting in person or something of the like), then they'll have to be more intrigued with you. And mystery will definitely help in that regard. So by not giving them the rundown on the phone of EVERYTHING you've been up to since you last spoke, that's all the more reason for them to want to meet up: To catch up!

 

I'm sure there are others as well that I'm not thinking of at the moment, but even without them, I still feel I've made a solid stance here with these five points. :laugh:

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

Phone conversations with the ex should be 3 minutes at the longest before ending the conversation first. Sometimes I have managed to end it after 90 seconds. That's been my record.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...