TheChloe Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hiya, I posted on the Breaking Up forum last week about my rollercoaster relationship. I got some really great advice that made me feel that I can take control of my long-term relationship with my BF and end the continual hurt by leaving him. Well... I had my chance this weekend just gone. He told me he was unhappy (again), had been so for a long time (again) and that it was over. He needed to think of his happiness, etc, etc. I knew this was coming and rehearsed my part in my head ("I agree, it's not working, we'd both be happier apart..."). But no. I burst into tears, say how "great" we are together, how "amazing" we are, how much I love him and can't be without him. All the time I KNEW I should be telling him to pack his bags and go, to lead the simple, single life he craves, that if I don't this will never end. But nope, I plead and beg and he cries, tells me he loves me, he can't hurt me, that we must work at this relationship together... And now we're back to square one. Each time this happens we both promise to change and make things work this time. This involves me doing what he wants, planning our future while he tells me what I want to hear (he admitted doing this), all while planning on leaving me. But each time I think that this will be different. THIS will be time we actually work it all out and stay together in a normal relationship. So how do you break this cycle of 2nd (or 3rd, 4th...) chances? The obvious answer is to just leave, break it off, be strong, but how have people actually DONE that? How do you train your brain to stop thinking "what if...?" and to just think "I've had enough! I'm worth more than this!"? Anyone managed to do this with success? If so, how difficult was it for you? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I just got sick and tired of wasting my energy on an obviously negative/verbally abusive relationship. Even when I met up with her to end it,she caused a scene, making it even easier for me. Pay tab,over tip server,apologize for said scene and walked away with a smile. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I'm the worst person to give you advice on this because I went back for a 9th time. Let me tell you, it was extremely exhausting. It took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally. I almost feel damaged and that I only deserve my ex. You just have to remember that you might love each other on some level, it doesn't mean you should be together. Let me guess, it hurts when you're apart but it also hurts when you're together. The plus about being hurt when you're apart is that you actually have a chance to move on and grow. We all get to that point on our own terms. A friend of mine said that the head and the heart just haven't decided on the same thing yet but when they do, you just know. Link to post Share on other sites
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