Dumper broke NC, ignore or no?

[Perrilyn]

I was with him for 4 years, he broke up with me, didn't want to be friends, and said to lets not talk ever again. I was the pathetic ex girlfriend who called every other week after the breakup to beg for the relationship back, but I finally wised up and started NC.

 

It's now a year since we had broken up, and out of nowhere he contacted me to ask how I'm doing. It was a complete surprise to me because he was the one who said he would prefer to never talk to me again.

 

At first I decided to ignore the message because I've worked so hard to get over my depression after the breakup, and I am FINALLY happy. But curiosity got the best of me and I replied. Bad move on my part because now I can feel myself converting back to that pathetic little girl who stayed with a guy despite the emotional rollercoasters he put me through. I replied to his message thinking that was it, but he keeps messaging me back asking more about how my life has been and I feel like he's trying to creep back into my life. Now I'm lost on whether I should continue this some more and see what his intentions really are or if I should cut it short and go back to NC.

 

My gut tells me he's only back because he's over his GIGS, but I can't help but to want to talk to him some more. Even though he wasn't the best boyfriend he could be to me, he was a good friend and I miss that. Do you guys think there are any chances for that? Or should I just avoid him completely?

[sugarlove]

I will probably ask him what intention he has for contacting you. If you feel for him still, it's probably fair for you not to get into any games. If he is honest, he will let you know and you can decide.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'd stop talking to him. If you are feeling unnerved, you need to stop the communication. If he's serious about reconciliation he'll up the ante if you stop. But yeah, you can't make it easy on him. Avoid, avoid, avoid until he says something of substance. If he doesn't, you have your answer on his motivations.

[confuzzled38]

if you feel like your reverting back to the girl you were before, and it wasn't one that you liked I'd go back to NC...you have to be in control of the situation and not let him think that he can come in and out of your life whenever he pleases or else you will never be truly happy...so do you right now...

[Georgia2014]

If you don't like how your changing because of him my advice is to either block him or ask what his intentions are.

 

If you are worried that you will get depressed again I highly encourage you to block him. If you need someone to talk to please message me. I understand how difficult it can be coping with depression over a breakup.

 

I am coping myself with depression over my ex. So I know how hard it is to get through that.

[Perrilyn]

So I ended up asking him what his intentions really are for hitting me up after not talking to me for so long and he finally admits that he missed me.

 

You guys are right.. It's a nice feeling to know that the dumper eventually came back but that feeling doesn't last long. I don't feel comfortable with how I'm feeling and acting now that he's creeping back into my life, so I'm going to initiate NC again.

[flight E]

Gud girl, protect yourself. U all you have

[SycamoreCircle]

I think you made the right choice. But I would argue that you didn't need to ask him what his intentions were. You could probably intuit it by the nature of the messages. People give themselves away indirectly. Look closely. Why give him any platform? Did he give you a platform? I doubt it.