my kind of love

[neemi]

Sorry my english!

My ex engaged bf left me undet New years eve. We were been together 2,5 years and last half year we were been engaged. Out of nowhere my bf called and said that he doens't know does he wants to continue. It took me huge crise. I lost 10 kg weight and were very tired and. Before we BU I realized reasons and what to do that we can work again. But my boyfriend only replied that he is too tired. I knew that that time he got new friends whom he went clubbing which was against he's normal behave. And he get know a girl from this new friendgroup. My fear came true and after our break, my ex and this new girl went bed. I heard about their relationship from my ex's sister and it crushed me. I was trying to do suicide after hearing this. My ex was very angry when he came hospital after my trying. We talked and after situation he texted me that I was right that he was unfair that he didn't give us a second chance. He was only sad that he got him to that situation with new girl, which i believe is rebound relationship. We keeo chatti g and talking situation but it made me feel worse so i went NC. After over month NC, i feel myself better and I have thought things rationally. My ex seems to be immatureand insecure but we had good relationship. I thought that I send him a letter to let him known that I'm over him, i'm finw and having good time. And want to apologize my bad manners after breakup and that i'm grateful all the things what we shared. But I know i have strong feelings about hil and had looked pros and consbabout our relationship. He has said after BU, that he misses me, have feelings towards me, remember all the good things. He said that he knows how hard is to me that he is with someone else, but he wants to look what is going to happend.

 

My thoughst go like merry-go-round. Should i just walk away, shut radically him out of my life or should I start ti rebuild our friendship again..?

[PhillyConnection23]

I'm guessing you are young.

 

Your boyfriend thought as we say in English "The Grass was Greener on the Otherside" or "GIGs."

 

You should continue to avoid him, don't write that letter. Just don't write it. Live your life and get in a better place where you can live to be the person you want to be. You don't need another person to define you or make you happy.

 

Suicide is NEVER an option.

[neemi]

Well, I'm 26 years old young. ;D

 

I know that suicide isn't an option. Never. I was also shocked that I tried to kill myself. But the pain and agony was so huge that I wanted to get that feeling away, not because my ex doesn't love me. Actually, it was my victory, because I get therapy which open up my mind to understand myself and what to do when my feelings get too painful.

 

Is my BF really having GIGS? What is GIGS?

[littleplanet]

Well, I'm 26 years old young. ;D

 

I know that suicide isn't an option. Never. I was also shocked that I tried to kill myself. But the pain and agony was so huge that I wanted to get that feeling away, not because my ex doesn't love me. Actually, it was my victory, because I get therapy which open up my mind to understand myself and what to do when my feelings get too painful.

 

Is my BF really having GIGS? What is GIGS?

 

 

Neemi,

 

GIG stands for "grass is greener"

Grass is greener (on the other side) stands for thinking the grass is greener somewhere else.

Imagine you are a deer. You eat grass on your side of the fence.

You look over the fence, and decide that the grass there is greener.

You want some, so you jump over the fence to get it.

(even though the grass your side was perfectly fine)

 

This is kind of what your boyfriend did. The term GIG also can be used to describe someone who is never happy with what they have. Always thinking that something else is better.

 

 

When I was 23, I had an experience something like yours.

(But not so bad as to wind up in a hospital.)

But it was a wakeup call.

It taught me something about myself that I needed to know.

 

You are lucky to have that wakeup call - and to still be here.

That is the good part! :D:D

 

Some day...........you will look at your children and be very glad in your heart.....about that wakeup call.

That's what happened to me.

 

But in the meantime, the hard part is the pain of loss.

When the feelings get too painful, this is what good friends and family are for........the ones who love us who will never give us reason for that pain - only try to help make it go away.

That (and good therapy) is the most important thing.

 

You have indeed, proven that you can feel, and proven that you can love.

Now these things need to find some wisdom.

And you will find it! It is out there all around you.

 

I wish you all the best!

[neemi]

littleplanet, your comment was important and it couraged me a lot.

 

Now I'm just wondering, when I realized that my boyfriend got this GIGS, that there is nothing that I can do about it, just continue my life alone? It's hard cause there were so much pros than cons in our relationship, my boyfriend isn't seemly happy with what he had.

 

But I have learned to be happy without my boyfriend, no one can define me or make me happy. But I guess my ex should understand that too.