For guys whose gf left b/c of neediness and over dependence.. Ever work it out again?

[zyketti]

i guess the title kind of explains it all. The situation is, your girlfriend left because she was too tired, exhausted, and pressured from your neediness/depression/overdependence. You take 2-3 months to figure yourself out… Have you ever got them back?

 

Yes, I'm in the situation now, and yes I'm still madly in love with my ex.

[Elle1975]

Well if you haven't done any improvements in your behavior, it won't work again.

 

If you are depressed, I would seek help. Meds take you so far. You need to address the root of your problems.

 

I have this idea that people need to give at least 6 months to be able to reconnect, and give it another try succesfully. I could be wrong but I do think that the bad needs to go away first.

[Jiivy]

In this case, like really many others you're in a catch 22. Understand this:

 

In order to truly get over your issues of neediness & overdependance, you'd have to be in a place mentally where you don't actually need your ex back anyway.

 

...and that's the killer. I'm exactly where you are - I'm deeply in love with my ex and one of the reasons I think the relationship died was because we were too reliant on each other rather than ourselves. Don't fret. This is a long journey and I'm scared of changing, scared of not loving her anymore too...but you're not alone. I'm here too and I'm in the same place.

[jordanr1994]

Im in the exactly the same position too

 

Just deleted all forms of contact and just reminding myself that if she wants to come back then she will have to work hard for it and hunt me down!

 

Im back to my old self again now, meeting new girls etc. Yes you will compare them to your ex. But every time i remind myself of what my ex has done, it pushes me away a bit more. I become more determined to seek happiness with someone else and in my self

 

I am scared that just as i move on, she will come back

[Waz]

For almost every break-up and its cause, the best solution is the same:

 

No Contact, focus on self, living your life and again no contact. Stalking is like breaking no contact too, the difference between talking to an ex and stalking an ex, is a "s". The same goes for looking pics, talking with friends about your ex, visiting places and seeing things that remind you of them.

Stop doing anything that has some connection with them.

 

Doing this, plus the time, will heal you completely, it will bring a better version of the old "you" and you will find peace.

And then maybe it will work out if there is a second chance because your judgement will be clear and you won't be needy, clingy etc., but by then you will have moved on already so it won't bother you much.

[zyketti]

Wow thanks guys, all of you. Really appreciate your comments.

 

I can really tell how bad it got now, just by feeling super lonely when I got up this morning. I can't wait until I get to the point where I am just happy by myself.

 

The breakup I had was semi-mutual, I understood it, and I thought it was also necessary. I just hope that this feeling of jealousy, the fear that ex will find someone new soon will go away also..