lostmatthew Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 (edited) Sorry if this seems like I am rambling on but I can't seem to get this off my mind and its eating at me every day of my life. Its like i am lost in the dark wondering what if? If anything, can you read my story, and put me in the right direction of finding out what to do to figure out if she actually wants me or ...? If you have any questions as if maybe I left something out please ask. Okay, so I don't know where to begin but I guess I'll start with how we met. I met Tasha 3 years ago online - she was 24 and I was 29. She had a three year old son and I had 3 children from my previous 10 year relationship (9, 6 and 5). She had been married for only one year and left her marriage because she said he changed. Now, we met online and talked for one month before we physically met because she lived in the next city over ( one and a half hours away). The initial meeting was great, I thought she was beautiful and classy and we hit it off. She was quite quiet and shy and full of smiles as she said "I never thought someone as good looking as you would ever be interested in me". So, I started going to visit her every other weekend where she lived and things went great. She became pregnant and said "You probably wont talk to me again" (which I couldnt understand). I was happy. Not long after one night while in bed she went through my facebook and got mad because I had a female friend. She felt something was going on and I could never convince he otherwise. I would find myself seeing her get angry at stupid little things over time like people on my facebook, when I didnt want to do something she wanted to do...sometimes she would get emotional and apologize and even make cute lettrs and cards saying sorry. One day, I ran into her twin sister when I was out and they do not get along or talk for long periods of time...ome kind of weird grudge match? So I added her sister to facebook and started thinking since her sister cant understand why Tasha wont talk to her maybe I can get them talking...she noticed me talking to her sister and then assumed I wanted to be with her sister? Ridiculous. A few months later I write "Happy valentines day babe" on her facebook and she deletes it....I show up to her work with flowers and a card her son made and when she comes home she has MORE flowers and asks if I sent her more...nope wasnt me. Around the same time I just became suspicious so I put a keystroke logger on her computer. One day when I went away for the weekend to my grandfathers with my kids she told me she was going to play pool with her girlfriends...well...I checked the keystroke logger when I got home and she went to another city to hangout with a guy. I asked her if she was telling me the truth and she denied it until I showed her the keystroke logger and she said "i was going to tell you but I know how you dont like me hanging around with guys" etc. She said "he has a girlfriend anyway". I caught her twice more later on talking dirty and then she kicked me out...then cried for me to come back saying she didnt do anything and was sorry and only says things out of anger. She kicked me out again...same thing. Finally I discover she was on a dating site for one day and was chatting it up with a man and sending him xoxoxoxs and saying they had to plan to get together. I printed it out and showed it to her and she said she was just having a conversation. Anyway, she never would go into a relationship with me again on fb but would have sex with me once a month or when she wanted it but when I wanted it she would say "thats all i want". Now, I live in my own apartment on the same street. I seen her walking with a guy the other day and she said its her friend and he has a girlfriend. She never says "i love you" unless shes arguing with me and says "i cant seem to move on i love you...someday im hoping you can prove to me you respect me and trust me etc" ... whenever at times I want answers, I want to hear her say Lets work on this I never get the chance, its always about her and she blames me for everything. She plays with me I find. She will have me over for 3 nights a week, kiss me and cuddle me then the 4th night she will turn her head away and say we have to build slowly towards things. She doesnt make any sense. She went on a date last month. She wants to go with me next weekend to see my mother and its 6 hours away so we would be together for the weekend with our daughter who hasnt met my mother. She says we can get my mother to watch the baby one night so we can go on a date. I dont get it. Am i wasting my time? I love her, I am attracted to her, shes a good mother for the most part but gets easily frustrated and takes her anger out on me and her son sometimes. Shes is the type of girl that cries alot when shes watching movies that are teary and she seems to have a heart on her sleeve but I dont know what to do? Are we ever getting back together? Why do I have to prove I want to be with her when all I ever do is exactley that and always find out something else that is inappropriate. When I get angry at being hurt she says all I do is assume and that Im negative....ugh. Help. Also Ive been living on my own for 4 months now. The first time I got my own place I didnt talk to Tasha for one full week...no contact and she didnt know where I lived or anything and she wrote me a text saying "I know youre the last person you want to hear from but I miss you" and sent me a pic of her sending a fake kiss. Stuff like this confuses me as I jump on bored and she doesnt want to invite me to her friends, have me on her facebook, have sex, live together etc? Ive actually been so confused I went on a date two days ago but realized all I could think about was my ex...like nothing compares to her or something feeling. Thanks Edited April 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostmatthew Posted April 17, 2014 Author Share Posted April 17, 2014 Also, she seems very insecure. Like she won't go out because she'll try on clothes and if she doesnt look good she'll cry and sometimes even get angry. But, shes lost weight and now she takes pictures of herself and plasters them all over facebook...getting compliments. BUt she always tells me she doesnt like people looking at her. Such a contradiction doesnt make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostmatthew Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 Any comments? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Yes. You're acting like a doormat. End this, go No Contact (Guide in my signature/link) and grow some self-respect and dignity. She sounds greatly immature and she's yanking your chain like nobody's business. Quit chasing/letting her in. She's making an idiot of you. Or rather you are, by letting her do this to you. Go No Contact and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostmatthew Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 Thanks...lol. But, what is her purpose for wanting to go visit my family for a weekend far away with just me and our daughter? If shes yanking my chain? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Thanks...lol. But, what is her purpose for wanting to go visit my family for a weekend far away with just me and our daughter? If shes yanking my chain? It doesn't matter what she's doing. What matters is what you do; and what you do, is not knee-jerk react. Let her go, let her be. Respond to your family's involvement when it arises. For now, maintain NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostmatthew Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 WHats the best way to remain no contact when we share a 2 year old little girl? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 That's known as 'LC' = Limited Contact. The only engagement you have with her, is to discuss the welfare and well-being of your child. Any arrangements you have to make for her, or decisions about her. all other discussion is off limits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostmatthew Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 Ok, so ill try that then. So when im there to pick up my daughter and she says "So, you stopped talking to me? I suppose youre done with me right? You never wanted me to begin with crap" I just take my daughter and say have a nice day? Thanks for replying Link to post Share on other sites
yorkie Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 i am struggling with this to tbh its been 8 months we dont talk its just by text recently though she texting me alot about the kids which is hard just have to do it mate sadly she has a new guy i have a new gf but i think i am in a rebound which isnt good i know tough it is and i have to end my new relationship and do it alone i think Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 yorkie - PUNCTUATE!! Link to post Share on other sites
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