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No contact rule does not work - Ex has not called


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 3rd September 2004, 10:19 PM   #1
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No contact rule does not work - Ex has not called

Well...let's see if the flip side generates 700 posts.....


OK. It's official. 1 Year since my ex slithered away in the night and refused to talk to me about anything until she had slept with someone else.

Damn.

Yes, she's called.
No she hasn't come back.

Will she?
Won't she?
Will I care if she does?
Will she care if she doesn't?

Will anyone read this message?
Will I be around to read the replies?

So moral of the story is, you can hope all you want but hoping doesn't make it so.
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Old 3rd September 2004, 10:30 PM   #2
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HOPE KILLS

Living your Life as best as possible without thinking about the other person Helps.

As hard as it is, and I know how hard it is
[Christ I had to go see a shrink to get out of the depression I was in] You have to live for you and try to remember that maybe that person wasn't the best for you and at least someday you'll get to fall in love with someone else.

Another thing to keep in mind is, in my experience the moment you really stop hoping, and really stop believing and moving on and living life for you [cheezy but true]... That's when that person comes back, but then you can make a decision knowing that you could be happy with or without her because your comfortable with yourself and don't necessarily need her.
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Old 4th September 2004, 12:14 AM   #3
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no contact works ...for a while..and for what purpose

she may come back, but in most cases there will always be doubt resentment and jealousy, especially if there was a man taking care of her in the interval period. we guys forget the issue of the horrible type of a relationship that will issue once the ex comes back, in most cases it will be an insecure relationship and I agree that in many cases they come back when we decide that we do not want them anymore because we (men) can wait for few weeks maybe a couple of months but the nature most males is "out of sight is out of mind" while most women have the "familiarity breeds contempt" so the more we are away from them the more they want us but when we come back they will most likely leave.(I emphasise the word most because not everybosy is like this)
I personally believe that unless a guy wants to marry a girl and she is ready for this , there is no point torturing one self with an ex, we should forget our ego and our winning nature (win her back despite her) and concentrate on our work and our art , in the end it is work and dignity that defines a man not whether a woman loves him or not (although it is important but it is not the essence).
just my free opinion.
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Old 4th September 2004, 12:19 AM   #4
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Quote:
Will anyone read this message?
Will I be around to read the replies?
I read it
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Old 4th September 2004, 12:21 AM   #5
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Sometimes no contact works, and sometimes it doesn't. I think if you're meant to be with that person then things will work out for the best, and if not, move on and take what you've learned from the experience with you. I haven't had contact with my ex in a few months and it doesn't look like he's going to want to be getting back together with me, but now that really doesn't bother me. I've had time to heal and I really think if he did come crawling back I'd have to pass up on the offer. I'm a happier person now that I know who really cares about me and I've learned alot from what happened.
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Old 4th September 2004, 12:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by honey2005


I read it
Me too.

You really had me going for a minute with that thread title, I must admit!
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Old 4th September 2004, 12:43 PM   #7
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I thought NC was supposed to be used as an aid to GET OVER someone. Apparently it has worked for your ex if she's moved on in her life and is now with someone else.
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Old 4th September 2004, 2:44 PM   #8
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lost_in_chgo,
Nice topic for a thread.
Believe me you don't want it to generate 700 posts. Because as soon as my thread did the admins just barged in an locked it ! How cool !
So I thought about adding my own reply to your thread. Maybe I'll bring along some luck and this thread will reach 700 posts too.

mr.jon
Quote:
Another thing to keep in mind is, in my experience the moment you really stop hoping, and really stop believing and moving on and living life for you [cheezy but true]... That's when that person comes back, but then you can make a decision knowing that you could be happy with or without her because your comfortable with yourself and don't necessarily need her.
Good heart
Quote:
I agree that in many cases they come back when we decide that we do not want them anymore because we (men) can wait for few weeks maybe a couple of months but the nature most males is "out of sight is out of mind" while most women have the "familiarity breeds contempt" so the more we are away from them the more they want us
lost_in_chgo, I agree with both of them. You see, at first my ex caved in and called me after 3 weeks of silence. Now it has been 1 month after her call. I haven't called her and I definitely won't !
I have been seeing someone else for the last 2 weeks and I can tell you this: The person I'm seeing now has opened my eyes to so many things that I wouldn't take my ex back even if she begged me night and day.
I would have never believed I'd say this but yes as blah_toolz and estekado called it "the worst summer ever" is over for me. I have completely moved on with my life and I'm happy I did. I don't ever want to think of a possible relationship with my ex because she has used me and abused me. I don't trust her at all and I hardly feel anything for her anymore. I don't even think about her that much. I'm a new man and I'm as happy as can be.
I wish everyone on this forum will someday reach that state of mind. Keep the hope (not about your ex coming back but about your happiness coming back even if it's with someone else !)
lost_in_chgo, good luck in finding that happiness. Just believe it's waiting for you someday, somewhere...
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Last edited by dreamguy; 4th September 2004 at 2:49 PM..
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Old 26th September 2004, 9:34 PM   #9
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I'm glad things are working out for dreamguy. I'm happy for you. Appreciate what you have especially if they appreciate you. Learn from the stupid mistakes you've made. God has something better for us. Me, well i'm still hanging in there i finally saw my ex face to face since we broke up last week. It wasn't purrty she had this wall up. We'd hug and i just didn't feel the love back . It hurt but there's nothing i can do but wish her happiness even tho i know that whats she's doing is wrong. I pray that one day she will think back of me and say wow i lost a great guy.

Till Next time guys. Keep your head up.
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