How long does it take to forget a messy breakup? Forever?

[Charlotte123]

My ex and I were together for 2 1/2 years. He dumped me because we were fighting all the time, but according to friends, when he left me he still loved me very much. Trouble is, he decided to break up with me in the middle of the night when we were both very intoxicated. Things got NUTS - I don't even want to go into the details. I talked with him a few days after and he said he would "never forget what we had" but that he needed me to leave him alone because he was upset about the fight we had. Well, I didn't. I pestered him for a couple weeks with emails trying to apologize, and then tried to go "no contact" but fell off the wagon a few times over the next 6 months. Sent a random drunk text "I still love you" or a random email "I'm really sorry, can't we be friends" - maybe contacted him a total of 5-6 times over those 6 months. He ignored EVERY ONE of my attempts to contact him. I finally confronted him when I saw him out, asked to have a convo, and he said "we are NEVER going to have a conversation again." For a while after the breakup he told friends I was "stalking" him (which is ridiculous) so I just went no contact completely and haven't spoken to him or tried to in 6 months.

 

It's been a year. Seems pretty hopeless from the above story, right? But I know he loved me a lot and what we had was special. He hasn't had a single love affair since the breakup (I've had a couple) and I know he is single now. Do people get over messy breakups? Do they forget things that were said when they were angry? Is there any hope at all?

 

I'm going to a large event in a couple weeks and I know he will be there (he's not the reason I'm going). I don't want to contact him, because doing so has been so disastrous in the past. I don't really want to ask mutual friends about him, because that just reinforces his former "stalking" argument (which I don't think many of them believe anyway - but they certainly don't want to be in the middle of things). But it's been a LONG time since the breakup. Do good memories ever replace bad ones? We were really in love. And is there ANYTHING I can do to try and get him back? I mean, he would have to come to me, right? How do I let him know that the door is open?

 

This guy was the love of my life. I can wait longer if I need to - maybe wait until Christmas and just ask a friend to tell him "Merry Christmas" for me? His birthday is next month. Should I ask a friend to tell him "Happy Birthday?"

 

I don't want him to think I'm just sitting around pining for him, because I'm not (I would like to save my pride), but I don't want him to think I hate him either.

 

BTW he likes to chase. When we were together, if he even got the slightest inkling that I was mad at him, he would blow up my phone until he got in touch with me. I also really don't think he's going to find another girlfriend anytime soon. Everyone in his group of friends are coupled up - he's not super attractive and he's very introverted.

 

I'm really pretty - if that helps at all - he always told me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever dated. A lot of good it did me.

 

What do ya'll think? Any hope at all?