Starrlove Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 My ex and I dated for 5 years until he said we needed a complete break from one another and that he couldn't speak to me until he knew we were "forever." I was heartbroken, agnozied over it and beat myself up for months until I met someone else that helped me move on. About two weeks ago I get a text from him at 3 am askng me if I was still working at the law firm I was at when we were dating. First of all...he KNOWS where I work because he looked at my linkedin page about three days before I got that text. So two days later I respond and pretty much say, "I don't know what was up with your text but is that really the first thing you could think to ask me after almost a year of not speaking?" He was extremely apologetic, made some BS excuse about someone saying something that pissed him off and that he responded with his emotions and that's not how he wanted it to be. He then said that he wrote me another text in the morning but when he hadn't heard back from me he felt like he didn't want to "annoy" me further. He was like "awkward situation, but it's nice to hear from you." Eventually I was like ok, well take care...tell the fam I said hello. His reponse was "you too...if you ever want to grab a drink and catch up i'd like that." WHAT the hell am I supposed to take from his contacting me? I really never thought we'd speak again. Link to post Share on other sites
robinseggblue Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Oh boy. Is there any chance that he knows you are dating someone new? Link to post Share on other sites
Hules Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Weak, he was testing the waters to see if he could just shimmy his way back into your life. I would just go back to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Popondetta Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 That's a weird first text to someone you haven't talked to in a year, and I'm glad you told him that too! It's probably just his awkward way of getting back in touch. Hm, I see a lot of people here on LS writes about how the dumper need to really chase and work hard to get the dumpee back. I agree to a certain extent, but I also think that after months of NC, the power balance between the dumper/dumpee can shift or become more evenly balanced.... (if you understand what I mean..sorry English is not my first language). This means that a dumper cannot be sure that the dumpee wants him/her back and therefore acts weird when initiating contact again. It's not like the dumper will always feel super confident and he/she realizes that the person they dumped might just not care anymore, or might be dating someone else. That's why they might come across as being to vague, awcward or careful. They also know they hurt your feelings and messed up and maybe they've come to realize that they made a mistake and want to make up. If you feel like your heart has healed and that meeting this guy would not set you back 7 months, I would just meet up with him (if you're curious and want to see if you guys could have a second chance). If you do so, make sure you look your best, act confident, talk about positive stuff and not the RS/BU, be yourself, let him set the conversation topics and try to enjoy. AFTER you meet up, it should definitely be him chasing you before you get involved with him in any way. Meet him, but don't let him get you back straight away without fighting for it. Good luck!! I wish it was me meeting up with my ex. I would love to get that chance!! Let us know how it goes after.... Link to post Share on other sites
Popondetta Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I just wanted to add; If you're seeing someone else now that you really like and have a good and stable relationship with and that you see a future with, I would maybe choose to not meet my ex. Let us know what happens next anyway! P Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrlove Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Oh boy. Is there any chance that he knows you are dating someone new? I'm not seeing anyone..i was casually seeing someone back in January but he helped me get over the ex. I deleted and blocked him and all his friends from everything so he truly has had no idea as to what I have been up to these past 8 months. Which is why I did it...you choose to not be in my life then you don't get to know what the hell i'm up to. Popondetta-He was very awkward. He was overly apologetic. Like why were you and your friends talking about me at 3 am? It's all a bunch of BS in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Hules Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I'm not seeing anyone..i was casually seeing someone back in January but he helped me get over the ex. I deleted and blocked him and all his friends from everything so he truly has had no idea as to what I have been up to these past 8 months. Which is why I did it...you choose to not be in my life then you don't get to know what the hell i'm up to. Popondetta-He was very awkward. He was overly apologetic. Like why were you and your friends talking about me at 3 am? It's all a bunch of BS in my opinion. As I said before. This was a pitiful attempt to see if he could just waltz back into your life, like nothing happened. Then when you called him out, rather than owning up he blames some other **** for his actions. Then to add insult to injury hes basically gone "well I tried, now you need to ask me for a date". Yeah, I would stay the hell away from this one Star. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrlove Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 As I said before. This was a pitiful attempt to see if he could just waltz back into your life, like nothing happened. Then when you called him out, rather than owning up he blames some other **** for his actions. Then to add insult to injury hes basically gone "well I tried, now you need to ask me for a date". Yeah, I would stay the hell away from this one Star. Yea i'll never ask him to meet up. If he truly wanted to meet up he'll eventually ask. Never being anyone's doormat ever again. You want me you know where to find me. I lived before him I can certainly live after him. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGrimSweeper Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Yea i'll never ask him to meet up. If he truly wanted to meet up he'll eventually ask. Never being anyone's doormat ever again. You want me you know where to find me. I lived before him I can certainly live after him. If he really wants you back he won't go away anytime soon. Maybe for a week or two but he'll be back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrlove Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 If he really wants you back he won't go away anytime soon. Maybe for a week or two but he'll be back. Agreed. He was probably trying to see how much I'd let him in. He sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Popondetta Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 So any news here Starrlove? I'd love to hear if he's tried contacting you again. Unlike many others here, I think the dumper doesn't always have the confidence to come and knock your door down even if they wanted you back. He has no idea about how you're feeling and is making small attempts to get back in contact. You're the only person here who knows him and you probably would have a feeling about why he sent you a text (If he is a shy and careful guy this text could actually mean a lot, but if he's a strong willed confident guy then his text is a bit lame)----Hope youn understand what I mean.. Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Eventually I was like ok, well take care...tell the fam I said hello. His reponse was "you too...if you ever want to grab a drink and catch up i'd like that." WHAT the hell am I supposed to take from his contacting me? I really never thought we'd speak again. Just ignore him -- he'll go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrlove Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 So any news here Starrlove? I'd love to hear if he's tried contacting you again. Unlike many others here, I think the dumper doesn't always have the confidence to come and knock your door down even if they wanted you back. He has no idea about how you're feeling and is making small attempts to get back in contact. You're the only person here who knows him and you probably would have a feeling about why he sent you a text (If he is a shy and careful guy this text could actually mean a lot, but if he's a strong willed confident guy then his text is a bit lame)----Hope youn understand what I mean.. No news...but I don't really expect him to follow through right away, if at all. To be honset, I think he was testing the waters to see if I'd even speak to him which is why he sort of made himself look like the victim by saying he didn't want to annoy me further by sending another text the next morning. I still think it was a bogus way of initiating contact with me but at least I called him out on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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