jessie Posted August 7, 2003 Posted August 7, 2003 My ex-partner, and I have been back together for three months, after a year and a half break-up. We were together for four years. We broke up due to a couple of unresolved issues, which are now resolved. We did not end because we stopped loving eachother, which made the break-up very difficult. I dated a couple of people while we were apart. He met someone six months after we broke up. He moved into her family's home, after only knowing her for one month. the relationship only lasted a few months, apparently it was pretty rocky, he wasn't around much, wasn't in love, he stayed on the couch most of the time until he found a place of his own. He had been on his own for awhile before we got back together. He maintained contact with my family throughout the 1 1/2 yrs apart. Ok, I'll get to the point. Everything is great except: I hate the fact that he lived with someone, and the way he described his situation at the time, actually makes him sound like he was a real low life. Apparently, her father said he could stay there for awhile, as things were pretty ugly with his roomate at the time, and he was struggling finanacially. So, he moves in this home, with people he doesn't know (remember he's only known this girl for one month). He moves to this awful part of town, no, I'm not classist. The girl is absolutely disgusting, and so is her family, they have a horrible reputation, fighting/drugs/alcohol, involved in the courts ect... Apparently he lived there for five months, but they were only together for three. they fought the whole time, he wasn't in love, he was never there, started drinking, slept on the couch, had sex with her a handful of times, which he described as non-emotional, ie five minut thing and back on the couch, which makes me sick to my stomach. Please do not scold me, i know that it's not fair for me to judge, and that what happened when I wasn't around is none of my business, and that my attitude is unloving, and disgraceful, and if this bugs me I have to let him go. I know this already, however, this behaviour is not the person I knew. I can't stand that he put himself so low. He is clean cut, hard working, attentive to me ect, and to hear this makes me feel sick to my stomach. what I find even more boggling is that he claims he loved me the whole time and was trying to get over it. I have no complaints about the relationship other than this. I guess, this is my problem and I have to get over it, but I'm finding this very hard to accept. has anyone experienced this ? how did you deal with it? (I don't want to end it, but I don't want to be eman either, which by the way, I've started saying some choice words.) why would someone behave like this? please do not criticize, i know how judgemental i sound, and I feel bad. Jessie
xyz_212 Posted August 7, 2003 Posted August 7, 2003 if you are truly in love with this person then you nee dto forgive and forget. i got back together with my boyfriend after 3 months apart - knowing that he dated/slept with another girl. it took a while to get over it - but then someone said to me that holding on to small things of the past will only guarentee problems in the future. you either forgive and forget or drive yourself crazy over a past that CANNOT be changed.
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