Circling the drain

[jjaded1]

Me and the BF had been "circling the drain" for a while. Arguing over stupid things and such. He lost his job a year ago, and has been a depressed, different person since.

 

Well, about a month ago, we got into a big blow up and I said I was done. Done listening to his constant complaints, dealing with his short fuse, and being an overall downer.

 

Well, after a few weeks, he sent me a long text detailing how sorry he is and that he realizes that he has been being difficult and that the time apart has made him realize that he needs to be better and try harder. He even went on to say he wanted marriage and children and was ready for his life with me and couldn't imagine it without me and my family. Really heartfelt stuff.

 

So, I start to contact him again. Nothing major. Just trying to get a feel for how serious he is about things. Take things slowly. I mean, I do love the guy.

 

Then he gets the BIG NEWS.

 

He's been offered a job in Europe. He can't understand why I'm not as excited as he is. I try to explain that it's hard to feel happiness about someone moving to another country when only a week earlier he was telling me he wanted to marry me. He says he doesn't know what's going to happen in the future now between us. Doesn't offer any hope or suggestion for how our relationship will survive.

 

So, I say I'm done(again) That I don't want to invest the love and time into the relationship for the remaining time he's here in the states only to be left in limbo when he moves.

 

And I haven't heard from him since.

 

So, I send him a text a week later.(Probably shouldn't have done that, huh?) I said basically that I wasn't trying to give him an ultimatum about staying or going, but that I just wanted him to be as concerned about "us" as he was about just "him". To offer some hope that yes, even though things will be hard, and things were changing, we can get through it together.(The job would only be temporary-maybe a year or so) and I travel a lot with my job, so getting over to Europe on a regular basis would not be an issue.

 

But, he has not responded. I can't believe that after all that we've been through, and all that's been said(especially recently) that he could toss me aside after something better came along.

 

Should I hold out some hope for the guy or move on? Is he really just an opportunistic @zzhole or am i missing the big picture?

 

Thanks for reading this far.

[001bh]

He's been unemployed for a year? To not take the new job would be foolish. If you had lost your job, I'm sure you'd be depressed and a real downer too. From what I've read, he seemed to really have liked you and you left him right at the worst time i'm guessing. Now he's taken a new opportunity and you're all of a sudden interested again after a heartfelt message. I wouldn't go to say he's an opportunistic @zzhole. He's probably really busy, plus you need to factor in time zones. Give it some time see what happens.

 

Or maybe he's realized that Europe is new, fun, and interesting and he's willing to leave the past (you) behind.

[jjaded1]

Thanks for your post!

 

He's not in Europe yet. It will still be probably a month or more before he leaves for all the paperwork and work permits to be completed. He does have a job currently-Something he hates but had to take because no one else was hiring....But it has been a year since being laid off from the job he loves.

 

Just wanted to clarify....

 

But you are right, I will give it time...It will help us to both see more clearly.

 

Thanks again for taking the time to write!