LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Second Chances

should i write my ex or wait for him to write me?


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 23rd April 2009, 4:17 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 12
should i write my ex or wait for him to write me?

me and my ex are both 21 and dated for 2 years...and he broke up with me 4 months ago i guess because i was smothering him. he kept changing his reason so i dont know. anyway i still love him and i broke the rule and kept texting him a lot after we broke up bc i was just so confused. but from feb-now i havent contacted him. feb i called him on his birthday and he called back and was trying to have a conversation with me, then he called me on accident?, then in march i didnt talk to him at all, then 3 weeks ago he went online and told me his hamster died. i dont know why he would tell me...and then he was telling me that that i could have the cage back if i wanted it...like i was going to go to his house? then he had a status on fb taht i know pertained to me bc only he and i would know about it...the point is that i still love him but he puts on facebook all these staus updates like hes having such a great time and hes making me feel like his life is better without me...and its just really immature. theres a part of me that thinks he misses me and another that doesnt...

do you think i should write him and ask him how he is doing or should i just wait for him to write me? im afraid that if i write him hes going to think that i want him back or whatever but im afraid if i dont write him, hes going to think that i dont care at all and hes just going to give up.
pinkcrush88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd April 2009, 4:50 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 101
The updates on his fb are trying to install a fear of loss into. Like that like you said, he is having a great time without you. Maybe thats not the case at all. His hamster died.. hmm maybe if it was a dog or something that you both did together but hamster??? The cage bit was just a ploy to either him try and come around or you come to his. Why cant he just say, look is it ok that we hang out etc. honesty is the best policy sometimes i feel. And i have always been honest in all my relationships.. Maybe thats the reason im in this mess.

Look at it from this point of view,, if he had as his staus on fb that he was missing you and wanted you back and kept putting things on about you, im sure you would just think that as being soppy. Although its hard to tell from person to person, but on the whole, people feel sorry for you. Sounds like he is trying to make you believe he is moving on with his life, when really he might be waiting for you to make a move so he can assess if he has that chance again..

i really cant tell you if its a good idea to write the letter or not. As im also at this point in that i want the second chance and i hope i get it. But just not yet it seems for now..
If you love him and think the second chance is the way to go, it cant hurt by writing the letter and telling him how you feel.. its then up to him weather he wants to go down that road. But you have to tell him in the letter that there is a cut off period. He surely cant expect you to be there for years/months later after the letter has been sent to try and pick it up again..

I really wish you good luck if you go ahead and send the letter. I only hope i get the chance he is getting with you if you do.
Sonic_chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th April 2009, 10:27 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 12
what?

so i didnt write him the note but i wasnt going to write him a sappy note anyway bc i dont want to date hiim any time soon. i just wanted to create that friendship again hes so different now that i couldnt. i was going to just say hey how are you. i was going to write it on thursday but then last night he said he was in a relationship with this girl...its just turned 4 months since we broke up from our 2 year relationship. im just completely shocked. but even more shocked when i saw her pcitures. she is actually 2 years younger. just turned 19 2 months ago, huge, and ugly. theres nothing wrong with being big but compared to me shes the complete opposite. and she like flashes her boobs everywhere? wow. so nasty. it seemed completely out of the blue that his closest friends didnt even know about it. and today his status was about him and her hanging out. he says that hes really shallow and he is. he is only attracted to small petite thin girls who are pretty. so im just shocked. what is this supposed to mean? this just sent me over and im insulted that she is replacing me. is this some sort of a rebound or is he just desperate? i dont know what this means actually.
pinkcrush88 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
to write or not to write - he has said he wants to be 'just friends,' bella_girl Friends and Lovers 0 14th September 2006 1:01 PM
Should I Write?? kgal Coping 5 3rd February 2006 10:02 AM
Should I write him off? Prim&proper Dating 2 25th June 2005 1:56 AM
Thank-you letter to EX? To write or not to write.... Israfil Separation and Divorce 23 5th March 2005 3:45 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:21 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.