Tim Posted April 8, 2002 Share Posted April 8, 2002 Me and my fiance slpit up 3 weeks ago on march 18th. We have talked since and have seen each other 4 days in the past week. We talk about working things out, but it is still a little to rush into things. We both had problems communicating the way we should and we hardly ever had time alone because her friend had moved in with us. She has sinced moved out(my fiance and her friend too). She came over on the 7 of march and we spent time together. We talked and hung out and other things!!!! The things i am trying to get at is i have fallen in love with her all over again and feel stronger for her now than I ever have. We were together for 3 years and when this happened it was devastating.But, we talk about trying to work things out, but just starting out as close friends then start dating again and progressing slowly. Do you think that this would be a good idea? I really love her with all of my heart and she feel the same way. We both still care about each other very much and still love each other very much. And the reason that she left is to straighten things out in her life and to work on problems and to find herself and to make her self a better person. i feel like that we can work things out, but I was just needing some advice on how to get thru this and what to do as far as trying to talk to her and make her realize that she is my everything and that I cant live without her. If you could please respond to this. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 8, 2002 Share Posted April 8, 2002 I don't think it will be a problem convincing her of your love for her, etc., but she's not going to want to get back into the relationship until she's good and ready. You shouldn't want to force that, either. Just let her know you're there for her and that you'd love to get things going again when she's ready. If you try to jump through hoops to get her back, you'll lose I promise. The less effort you put forth in this regard, the sooner things will work out between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
darkstar Posted April 8, 2002 Share Posted April 8, 2002 move on tim...dont be anybodies fool..you cant force anybody to be with you if they dont want to , it make work for a while ..but eventually it will fall apart. Take your energy and focus it somewhere else. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted April 8, 2002 Share Posted April 8, 2002 Three weeks isn Three weeks isn't really what one would consider a long-term breakup. Just a little time apart until things cool off. Funny how we always seem to appreciate the people in our lives more when they're gone, or at least when we think they are. I guess the old adage is true: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." If it weren't for one particular phrase in your post I would say to just be patient and bide your time. It looks as if it isn't too late for reconciliation (provided that you hold off on the engagement until you both are truly ready). However; and its a BIG however, I don't like the excuse she gave you about "leaving so that she could straighten things out in her life&to work on problems&to find herself&and to make her self a better person." These are all things she should be able to do with you in her life if love was a real part of the equation. I think your girlfriend would have been more forthright to just admit that the relationship was taxing her time and distracting her attention, that she would prefer to expend her energies on more selfish motives. If you love someone, you never stop to consider for even a moment that they are standing in your way or that they have become "extra baggage." It sounds to me that this relationship is wholly one-sided. And perhaps the reason she is entertaining the idea of "starting back again slowly" is actually her way of weaning herself off of you and the relationship that has become nothing more than "comfortable" to her. And that, my friend, is not a stable foundation to build a long-term relationship upon. Until she makes up her mind exactly what she wants, don't allow her to keep you in emotional orbit around her. Give it a little time if you really must, but if things don't move in a forward direction soon, I would advise you to start focusing YOUR energies on making that final closure and shutting that door& permanently! Good luck. Me and my fiance slpit up 3 weeks ago on march 18th. We have talked since and have seen each other 4 days in the past week. We talk about working things out, but it is still a little to rush into things. We both had problems communicating the way we should and we hardly ever had time alone because her friend had moved in with us. She has sinced moved out(my fiance and her friend too). She came over on the 7 of march and we spent time together. We talked and hung out and other things!!!! The things i am trying to get at is i have fallen in love with her all over again and feel stronger for her now than I ever have. We were together for 3 years and when this happened it was devastating.But, we talk about trying to work things out, but just starting out as close friends then start dating again and progressing slowly. Do you think that this would be a good idea? I really love her with all of my heart and she feel the same way. We both still care about each other very much and still love each other very much. And the reason that she left is to straighten things out in her life and to work on problems and to find herself and to make her self a better person. i feel like that we can work things out, but I was just needing some advice on how to get thru this and what to do as far as trying to talk to her and make her realize that she is my everything and that I cant live without her. If you could please respond to this. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 You have given us one side of the story. What are her plans? She owes it to you by letting you know what her intentions are while your not living together. Does she want to see other people? What does she do in her spare time and how long are you two apart? What are you two expecting while apart, besides just taking time off from each other? Listen to your intuition, not so much of your heart. Me and my fiance slpit up 3 weeks ago on march 18th. We have talked since and have seen each other 4 days in the past week. We talk about working things out, but it is still a little to rush into things. We both had problems communicating the way we should and we hardly ever had time alone because her friend had moved in with us. She has sinced moved out(my fiance and her friend too). She came over on the 7 of march and we spent time together. We talked and hung out and other things!!!! The things i am trying to get at is i have fallen in love with her all over again and feel stronger for her now than I ever have. We were together for 3 years and when this happened it was devastating.But, we talk about trying to work things out, but just starting out as close friends then start dating again and progressing slowly. Do you think that this would be a good idea? I really love her with all of my heart and she feel the same way. We both still care about each other very much and still love each other very much. And the reason that she left is to straighten things out in her life and to work on problems and to find herself and to make her self a better person. i feel like that we can work things out, but I was just needing some advice on how to get thru this and what to do as far as trying to talk to her and make her realize that she is my everything and that I cant live without her. If you could please respond to this. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
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