what a girl in luv to do!!

[ki-ki]

First of all I would like to say before I go to bed that I wish every one that reads and write's in this forum good luck....I know everyone is looking for that perfect someone,and if perhaps you already have one then congrats!! If not keep looking and remeber that sometimes that perfect one can be right in front of uss and we don't even realize it.....not in front of you??? my love one wasn't there either...but did you look behind you?!? There they go!! Don't forget to look behind you and to the side.....almost like crossing a street but this time you want to get hit!! well everything is that sweet for me..and any comments or advice is welcome. The one I am in love with who also claims to love me also, we are not even together!!Yes, one of those!!!! but it's confusing!! I like him so......We once did the relationship thing but we broke for our reasons.we both moved on but broke up with our new couples around the same time...!! We always stayed in contact and after we broke up with our previous lovers we started "seeing"each other again....Over all it's been about a year and half since I known him...and things are so sweet!! So I say "Why don't we get back together?"

 

He tells me he doesn't want to do that quite yet because he don't want us to break up again and then we hate each other....

 

To me this is just an excuse......but he tells me he will probably marry me. How can he say that and he can't even make me his girl again!!

 

I want a relationship.....and I want it with him....but it's not fair for me to wait for him!

 

I believe if you really like a person, you will commit!! Am I not wrong!! I meet other men and pass them up because of how I feel about this guy......but when is the wait enough..

 

If we act like best friends why not commit....

 

another question I must say should I just allow thing s be the way the y are....with out having the securety of a relationship...is the saying if it's not broke why try to fix it sometimes true!? thank you.

[velvet]

Darling, I had waited for two years. The wait agravated the heck out of me. I laid in bed crying that he wasnt there for me night or day, but only when it was convienent for him. We dated off and on. We were friends for ten years before we slept together. I knew that I was in love, and I told him. He played off my love, and made me believe that he really loved me. I remember many of times while making love I would cry, because I knew when it was over he would leave for the night. I was lucky to have slept in his arms the few times while we were dating.

 

He wasnt ever there for me, it made me crazy! I argued with my heart and mind everyday. I asked him why he would not give himself fully over to me. He told me he had to keep his distance btw us becuase he was falling in love, and it was scaring him, and he wanted to be sure that he would have me where he wants me first before he can give me what I wanted.

 

Your story sounds like a majority of what my r/s was like.

 

I see him everyday becuase I do the accounting for the company we both work for. One day he acts like hes my enemy, the next wants to be my b/f, and the next just friends. Hes got alot of issues he cant figure out, nor can I. So he decided several months ago that we should just be friends. I still love him, Im in love with him, but I dont focus on it, or think about him everyday. Even though Im in love with him, I continue to date other people and have a life thats normal and fun.

 

I think that you and I, what I had been through and what you are going through is denial. I denied that he didnt love me or used me. I realize now that anytime I see other people he goes absolutly nuts becuase he wants me to sit at home and think about him and plead for him. I did a couple times, just as your doing. I dont know why he liked that. I couldnt do that to someone. But I think it gave him an ego boost.

 

If I were you I would ask him to make a decision now, becuase your looking out for you. You dont want to find yourself a couple years down the road like your friend Velvet who wasted time and energy over a person who she thought was a potential soul mate.

 

Sorry friend, thats not love. He should give you the security or leave you alone.

 

First of all I would like to say before I go to bed that I wish every one that reads and write's in this forum good luck....I know everyone is looking for that perfect someone,and if perhaps you already have one then congrats!! If not keep looking and remeber that sometimes that perfect one can be right in front of uss and we don't even realize it.....not in front of you??? my love one wasn't there either...but did you look behind you?!? There they go!! Don't forget to look behind you and to the side.....almost like crossing a street but this time you want to get hit!! well everything is that sweet for me..and any comments or advice is welcome. The one I am in love with who also claims to love me also, we are not even together!!Yes, one of those!!!! but it's confusing!! I like him so......We once did the relationship thing but we broke for our reasons.we both moved on but broke up with our new couples around the same time...!! We always stayed in contact and after we broke up with our previous lovers we started "seeing"each other again....Over all it's been about a year and half since I known him...and things are so sweet!! So I say "Why don't we get back together?"

 

He tells me he doesn't want to do that quite yet because he don't want us to break up again and then we hate each other.... To me this is just an excuse......but he tells me he will probably marry me. How can he say that and he can't even make me his girl again!!

 

I want a relationship.....and I want it with him....but it's not fair for me to wait for him!

 

I believe if you really like a person, you will commit!! Am I not wrong!! I meet other men and pass them up because of how I feel about this guy......but when is the wait enough.. If we act like best friends why not commit....

 

another question I must say should I just allow thing s be the way the y are....with out having the securety of a relationship... is the saying if it's not broke why try to fix it sometimes true!? thank you.