I still love my ex-boyfriend

[peechy06]

Alright, I'm gonna make this as short as possible.

 

Me and my boyfriend had been together for about a year and half long distance (we go to college in different states but we are from the same place where he goes to school). I met him when I was home for winter break my sophomore year and we really hit it off and have been together since. I fell really hard for this guy and everything was amazing. I was 100% happy with us and he clearly was too. He said he loved me after about 2 months and he would always talk about our future together. Well this past March he broke up with me because he said he was too overwhelmed with school (it was his last semester) and he was about to start a full time job. Basically I think he was having a sort of quarter life crisis. We got back together that night but then he just broke up with me again the following week.

 

About a week after this I was home for spring break and we hung out a little. Everything was going fine until he told me that when I went back to school he thought we should go on a break b/c he really didn't feel like he couldn't handle a relationship at this time. We agreed not to see other people. I got sort of upset b/c I did not want to go on a break but I went back to school and gave him his space. During this time I was back at school however, I noticed his ex-girlfriend of 2 years befriended him on facebook and wrote some things on his wall...one of them being "you are the best babe <3"). I was really suspicious and got mad and called him and asked him if he was seeing her. He said no. He said he has been talking to her sometimes b/c he thinks she wants to be friends (she had cheated on him and I think she has been trying to contact him from the day we got together, but he has resisted until this point) So I believed him and since that time we talked occasionally.

 

 

Well about 2 weeks ago he called me and told me that he just wanted us to be friends b/c he is not ready for a committment. He said he wanted to be able to hang out with his friends as much as he wants this summer and not have to make a committment to me. I told him I didn't know if I could be his friend and he told me to think about it and if I wanted to hang out at all this summer feel free to call him. Well I was pretty mad about this...I told him I loved him and just wanted to be with him but this didn't help anything. I haven't talked to him since then. Exactly 2 weeks after this happened and I came home for the summer, he texted me and asked how my semester was and if I found a summer job. I replied and asked him how work was. I asked him if he would like to have dinner sometime and he said yes as long as I wasn't seeing anyone. I told him ok that would be great without really answering his question. He texted me again and said "So are u seeing anyone?" I said no b/c its true, I'm not. (Its only been 2 weeks since he officially ended things) And that was the end of the conversation. He is in orlando for the nest couple days on a business trip and I want to see him sometime after he gets back but I don't want to come off as desperate and I don't want him to think I have been miserable or anything. This break up has been really hard on me but I feel like I have made some good progress, I have been hanging out with friends, trying to improve myself, and have started becoming confident again. I would like to try and be his friend and see if things develop from there. Should I contact him when he gets back from orlando? or wait and see if he contacts me first? I really still love him but am I just wasting my time trying to get him back? Any adice would be greatly appreciated!