Urgent how can I get him back

[mat56]

So heres my story. Its nothing compared to others but It hurts just the same I guess. I know its long but I need advice quickly so please read and help!

I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We were both each others first everything. I love this kid more then anything in the world. Im a year older then him and our whole entire relationship has been weekends. When I met him I went to college the next week. We saw each other every weekend after that. When he started school I was afraid it would end but we compromised we talked when we could (which was every night for 15 mins) and saw each other every weekend(saturday and sunday). When we did see each other he basically lived with me. He would come to my house and sleep on the couch ( I live with my parents) or he would come to school. Everything was great really. He asked me a few times to move in with him but I couldnt because of school. Two weeks before he broke up with me he told me for the first time that he loved me. I never even saw the break up coming.

He broke up with me on March 24th. It all started that Monday we had a silly argument and I thought everything was ok but then the next day he was still made and it sounded like he didnt want to be with me anymore. The next day he told me that he didnt think he wanted a girlfriend anymore but he couldnt make any decisions until he saw me. That saturday he was supposed to come after work so around 1pm. I waited all day until 8 and decided to call him. I asked him if he was going to come and he said no that he would tomorrow. I said would you like me to make this easy on you, are you going to break up with me? He said yes. I begged for a second chance but he said he was done.

 

I found out the next day from a friend that he was hanging out with another girl the day after he broke up with me. I called him that weekend and asked to hang out and he said no. I called him the next weekend to ask again and he didnt answer. I left him a message and told him to call me back and he did. We talked and he was rude to me I realized at the end of the convo that he was at this other girls house. I was devestated. I left him an angry email about how rude it was to talk to me while she sat there as well as a few more things. I didnt hear from him for two weeks. It would have been longer but I heard that he and this girl had began dating. I called him just to find out and really didnt expect him to answer but he did. He told me he had been thinking of calling me and he had planned to the next day. We talked for two hours. I have never talked to him for two hours on the phone ever. He told me how he is afraid to have sex with his new girlfriend. I told him how I couldnt imagine being with anyone(intimately)other then him and he said neither can I. He made it seem as though he missed me as if he made a mistake. He also informed me that his new girlfriend "used" to drink and do drugs and she has had sex with two other guys. These are things that are a big deal to him. He doesnt even talk to his own cousin because she has done drugs. And for him to be with someone who has had sex with more then one person, that amazes me. I dont get why she is so much better then me. So being stupid I called him the next day and told him I needed to talk to him in person. The whol reason I want to talk is because I want to tell him that hes making a mistake and that I think we should try again though he doent know my reasons for wanting to talk to him. He said he would call me the next night late to decide when. He never called. The next day(monday) he did call though and he said he didnt know when but he would call me later in the week to let me know. I waited until Thursday and decided to call him. He was so rude to me telling me I dont know why you cant just tell me on the phone. I told him it was important and it had to be done in person. He told me that if he comes home he would be bringing his girlfriend with him. He agreed on calling me by Saturday to let me know what time on Sunday he could see me. That conversation also included me asking if he had sex with her yet. He told me it was none of my business. I asked why the week before he could tell me and he said that he realized after that he said to much. He said that if he said no then I would just keep asking and if he said yes I would hate him and never want to talk to him ever again. So Saturday came and I didnt recieve a call so I called him. We argued and finally agreed that I was to come to his house to talk while his girlfriend stayed inside. So here we are today Sunday the day I was supposed to go talk to him. He calls me and tells me he isnt coming home anymore. And he also realized it would be rude of him to talk to me with his girlfriend there. I said so what does that mean and he said cant you just tell me on the phone and I said no. He started to freak out. He told me that he doesnt believe me that its something important that it is just something that would piss him off. I told him that i was important and he said that hes sick of this and were just going in circles. I told him he needed to calm down and he said that he has been calm the last 5 times Ive called him. I said im not going to talk to him about this while shes standing right there and he said your not going to talk about it on the phone anyways. He said that he doesnt understand what could be so important that I need to tell him in person I said just do this then if you want you can never talk to me again. Hes like why do you need to say whatever this is why cant you just be done and never talk to me again now, I dont understand why you need to say this one last and then you can never talk to me again. I said that I was just saying if he didnt want to talk to me again after this then fine but its important that he knows this. I told him to call me when hes not with her and will can talk about it and he said fine but it wouldnt be until tomorrow.

 

I dont know what to do. I just want to be with him so bad. I dont know why hes being mean to me. Its like hes only mean when hes with her. So just tell me what should I do. Is there any hope for us? Ive never felt so horrible in my whole life. When he calls tomorrow I dont know if I should tell him what I wanted to say in person or just let it go. I just want him back and I want to know how to get him.

[Yernasia Quorelios]

It'll be painful but let it go and don't contact him again. Get your friends and family around for support, post here as much as you need to. Eventually the desire to see him will subside.

 

Remember that the problem is with him not you and unless he changes his mind (a big "IF") he will carry on being mean to you. Just leave him alone and if he wants to he will come to you.

[CaliGuy]

To answer your question, you can do nothing to make someone come back or love you.

 

The best thing you can do is simply live your life without them included in it. You'll get healthy, faster and rebuild your confidence and self-esteem.

 

If their heart changes, they'll come back on their own. And hopefully by that time you will have moved on with your life.

[Not_That_Innocent]

You telling him that he is making a big mistake won't make a bit of difference, other than make him more mad at you. Walk away!! I know it hurts, but you will get over it eventually, I promise. He hasn't been very kind to you, breaking up with you over the phone, going out with someone else immediately after you broke up - quit pining after him and find someone else, whatever you have to do to move on.

[Lizzie60]

He doesn't deserve you... He's a player. I know this is hard but you got to do it... don't call him. Hang out with your friends. Be smart and strong. Be independant, this is the best way to start being confident and building your self-esteem... you deserve much better.

 

Guys (trust me on this one) love independant, strong, confident women...

 

You'll get over him and one day, he'll come back crawling for you, but you'll be happy with someone else...

 

Good luck!