thought I was better, but I was wrong

[lilly36]

well...it's been over a month of NC and almost 2 months since our split. I thought I was getting better, but last night at work, I smelled someone who was wearing the same cologne that my ex wore. It brought back all these memories and emotions and now I am a mess again. Why do I still have all these feelings for someone who hurt me so badly? Neither of us have initiated contact over the last month, but mainly b/c the last time we spoke, it let all this anger out and really let him have it, and left it as "I'll talk to you when I talk to you" I really want to call but I know it isn't a good idea.

[sick of it]

we all get the urge to call. no matter what happened, they could have killed your parents and youd still have an urge.

something set you off, his smell. thats ok. but dont let that excuse every reason why youve kept up NC. its ok to want to call, its normal and expected. but think to yourself, "nothing has changed"

Dont call. youll be fine.

[whichwayisup]

That cologne set you off and made you think of him. It's okay to miss him, but please don't call him.

 

Instead of calling, sit down and write a letter to him - BUT DO NOT SEND IT. This is just for theraputic reasons to make you feel better. Just put down what you are feeling. Then, either keep the letter for afew days, re-read it, then burn it - Or right after you are done, rip it up.

 

Good luck and when in doubt GO read No Foolin's thread in this section. I think you know the one, the long guided walk to no contact.

[shelters]

well...it's been over a month of NC and almost 2 months since our split. I thought I was getting better, but last night at work, I smelled someone who was wearing the same cologne that my ex wore. It brought back all these memories and emotions and now I am a mess again. Why do I still have all these feelings for someone who hurt me so badly? Neither of us have initiated contact over the last month, but mainly b/c the last time we spoke, it let all this anger out and really let him have it, and left it as "I'll talk to you when I talk to you" I really want to call but I know it isn't a good idea.

 

 

I agree with everyone else. Don't call. There will more of these times where you are set back a little in your progress. Consider them opportunities to just *sit* with your feelings and *not* act on them. Practice patience. In a couple days or a week you will begin to feel better again. Have faith that you will.