Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I think having a bad day at work really magnifies the part of" missing your ex" I just want to send him a text telling him how much I miss him, but I'm sure that would screw everything up especially the healing process, and the time that I chose not to talk to him I'm sure It's normal to be this hurt over a first love, but I hate feeling like I will always long for him, hurt for him and miss him. Aren't first loves the hardest to get over? It's been 8 months so of course I can go out and have fun, but It's like I'm not healing...but burrying down the pain inside. I still obssess and fantasize over seeing eachother again, It's only normal to be like that after a almost three year relationship?? It's kind of scary looking back at the past, and seeing how SO much has changed. Everything changes and I can't stand it, that alone gives me a heartache to lol but I guess getting over someone makes it even worse... Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 BrittanyJean, I think it's really great that you are dealing with this at your age. Someday, probably not to far in the future, you'll look back an realize how good it was to get that first love and first loss out of the way young. I just lost my first love, over 6 years together. I am in my mid-20s now, young enough to know I have plenty of time ahead (fate willing) but old enough to wish this had been over and done with earlier in my life! Are you going to be or are you in college yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 Attenting a wake tech in the fall :-p Yes you are right, the sooner the better. BUT it stills hurts incredibly I'm sure my thoughts on everything or the same as anyone else who had to get over a first love, which is thinking your never gonna get over them Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 Good lord I can't spell, attending* lol Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Even today I wonder where she is. I grew up with her and she is my childhood sweetie. From 8 to 13 then 15&16; she is my standard in trust, learning, and others that I base future ones to. Of all the soulmates, she is one of them. If I could marry my childhood sweetie, I would. It was not easy letting her go. Oh well... Good luck in college. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 BUT it stills hurts incredibly I'm sure my thoughts on everything or the same as anyone else who had to get over a first love, which is thinking your never gonna get over them Amen, this goes w/o saying, don't think I'm trying to be cavalier about it. This pain is unlike anything... As for college- I think that will really get you over this- it is a world unlike any. And fun as hell. 6mos into your first years, this guy will be a distant memory. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Remember to practice safe fornification! :lmao: Honestly, college changes people; hopefully opens minds and learn a few things and tricks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 I know I'm thinking college( it is a community college) will open the doors to many new things, better things I don't want to long over someone for 10 years?? I want to eventually move on Link to post Share on other sites
shelters Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 My highschool sweetheart and I broke up when I was in my first year in college (he was a senior in hs). He tracked me down a few years later after I had already moved out of state to tell me I was 'the one' and if we could try again. It would have been ultra romantic except by that time I was already involved with someone else. In my life, everything has def worked out the way it was supposed to. It really does get easier. Promise. Good luck with college. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I know I'm thinking college( it is a community college) will open the doors to many new things, better things Just do it! It will open doors and is pretty much required to get a job and be a supervisor/manager oneday. I don't want to long over someone for 10 years?? I want to eventually move on First loves and any "love" would forever leave a mark in your heart. Just have to let it go. Letting go is a first step. Starting something new (college) is another. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I don't want to long over someone for 10 years?? I want to eventually move on I'll make you a deal, if in April of 2016 you'll post -or possibly send a telepathic message by then - on here saying it has been 10 years of nothing but hideous longing and no other loves I'll personally hand you the deed to my farm -which I had better purchase by then-. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 lol you right maybe I shouldent worry about the future, but I want to fall in love aggain later, and that had to be possible I just don't always want to compare those feelings to the feelings I had with my first love Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 lol you right maybe I shouldent worry about the future, but I want to fall in love aggain later, and that had to be possible I just don't always want to compare those feelings to the feelings I had with my first love You will. From my experience, I asked two women to be my wife. Got rejected but still moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I just don't always want to compare those feelings to the feelings I had with my first love Can't promise the farm on that one as well... you most probably will but guess what, it's very probable that you will be comparing not only the ones right after the first love to it but the 3rd to 1st and 2nd and so on. Comparing isn't necessarily bad either. It helps us grow at times. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 COmparing may not always be bad! As in "My new bf is waaaaaay better than my ex was"! Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I think having a bad day at work really magnifies the part of" missing your ex" I'm sure It's normal to be this hurt over a first love, but I hate feeling like I will always long for him, hurt for him and miss him. Aren't first loves the hardest to get over? I don't really think that;s true, its just hard to get over someone you truly did love, its more to do with the level of your emotional attachement to them than chronological order. My 3rd "love" was my hardest to get over, we split in 2002 and I still am not 100% despite having 2 serious relationships since, sometimes you just become so attached it is hard. I can deal with it now, but still have some deep feelings for that ex. Link to post Share on other sites
the_alchemyst Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Actually, I think your first love is the hardest to get over, granted you loved them with all that you possibly could. Why? Simply because first times are always the most memorable, whether they be good or bad. It's your first love--your first heartbreak: the inexperience only adds to the difficulty of overcoming/dealing with it, imo. I have had 3 bfs, but have only been in love with one of them--my last one. I met him when I was 14 and he 15, and we were both had mutual crushes. A couple of years later, we started going out, and things got serious very soon. We dated for 2 years, and while that may not be a lot, all I can say is that I loved (and I still do) with all of my heart. We broke up a few times, all of which I was in college, and I honestly don't wish this for you but college did not help me with getting over this or getting him out of my mind--I actually messed up my grades because of this. A lot I hope this won't happen to you! But yes--he was my first love (he was my first everything, actually ) and my first heartbreak. I know I'm young and I do think I have a few really good qualities going for me, and that if I wanted to and tried, I could find someone else, but that someone else won't be him . . . . and I just don't want anyone else that isn't him. I know he wasn't perfect, but he was as good as it got for me. I am seriously considering never dating again. So yea, I do think they are enormously hard to get over. But . . . I hope things soon start to get better for you, Brittany. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Actually, I think your first love is the hardest to get over, granted you loved them with all that you possibly could. Why? Simply because first times are always the most memorable, whether they be good or bad. It's your first love--your first heartbreak: the inexperience only adds to the difficulty of overcoming/dealing with it, imo. So yea, I do think they are enormously hard to get over. But . . . I hope things soon start to get better for you, Brittany. I still disagree that chronological order is what makes it harder. Yeah first time sucks cos you've never felt like it before, but I think your most "serious" relationship is the hardest one to forget. For me, my first girlfriend was when I was 17, we dated for about 9 months and i did love her, and was crushed when she broke up with me, took me maybe 6 months to get over her (however moving to a new city and starting university in that time probably had a lot to do with it!). However the one I have not seemed to ever "forget" was my ex-fiance who I was with for almost 3 years (had a wedding date planned, joint bank account, were saving to move in together) cos I had more emotional attachement there and she still is my longest relationship to date, as I said she was my 3rd love but also the hardest to get over. My most recent girlfriend split up with me in September, and again it took me about 4-5 months to get over her, but thats no different to my first girlfriend really. So I disagree once again that chronological order is what makes it harder to get over, the new feeling apart, I don't think break-ups ever get any easier, no matter how used to them you get, sadly. Link to post Share on other sites
visotech Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Its been about three weeks since my first relationship ended. Being my first love and my first relationship I think the 2.5 years we spent togather will stick with me for a long time. We got togather at the end of highschool, and just broke up now, 3rd year of college. Its crazy how I went nearly 17 years of my life without feeling that way about someone, now it almost feels I'd never love again. I spent the 3 biggest years in my life with her, and my life changed so much during that time (highschool to college transition, moving 400miles from home, all sorts of new responsibilities), it would be ridiculuous to deny those 3 years of my life as never existing by forgetting about her. Because of that I think I will always love her, unconditionally for the role she has played in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 If I fall in love again? why would I even coompare my ex to the new guy, but from all the stories I have read on first loves, I see no hope in ever finding love again I know right now I am too young for that, and that I should expore who I am, but who I was well was with him. It's just really really really hard to imagine that I am going through it, and that he will become a distant memory I just know it wil take alot of time to patch me up inside, but I don't want to dwell on it for the next ten years of my life, and with it being my first love I feel like he will be the only truely one I want. I hear each love is greater than the last, so maybe each heartbreak will be extremely worse, Well I got my whole life to find out and I will give it time Link to post Share on other sites
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