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When will it stop hurting?


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 24th December 2017, 12:58 PM   #1
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When will it stop hurting?

I am back here to vent.

Here's a quick background. We have been broken up for 9 months.now.
She broke up with me. She just wasn't in love with anymore. I am now with a great girl who I really like but I'm still not over my ex.

A few days ago was my birthday. I know she doesn't have to but I kinda wanted her to wish me a happy birthday. But she just forgot about it or chose not say anything.

The worst part of all was that I went out to a club with some friends and my gf and she was there. I was strong and didn't even say hello. The only good thing was that I didn't let her affect me too much. I had a lot of fun and I didn't talk to her at all.

Sucks that she couldn't even come up to say happy birthday but whatever.

I hope this helps me on my journey to get better soon because I definitely do not want to lose my current gf because of this. She is an amazing woman.
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Old 25th December 2017, 2:11 PM   #2
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Your current GF is the biggest loser in all this. She has a man who is only with her because he can't have the girl he wants. You will be in no position to date until you are fully over your EX.

For now, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. IT's all you can do.
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Old 26th December 2017, 7:04 PM   #3
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I ended up breaking no contact after 2 months of NC today. Not disappointed about it, but I am also here because I have the urge to text her again and I refuse to do it.

I don't think the text was too bad. I asked how we got to a place where we each other and not even say hi.(We were in the same room for a couple of hours and didn't say hi)

She responded by saying it was out of respect for my current gf and she wished me a happy birthday.

After that, a few minor texts were exchanged and I ended the conversation by letting her know that I just wanted to make sure there were no ill feelings between us. I also said that I am glad she was doing and to take care of herself. And that was it.

I still have the urge to talk to her but I am not going to text her.

Nothing will come out of it. I need to keep reminding myself that she broke up with me and no longer wants me. I wished it was different but it is not.

I am also beginning to feel really guilty about my current gf. She is the best woman I have ever met. In paper she is 100 times better than my ex. She is beautiful, smart, ambitious, amazing personality and did I mention how beautiful she was. The only issue I have right now is that I am still hung up on my ex and I don't understand it.

I really hope I don't end up hurting my current because that would also devastate me.

I don't get why this is happening to me. i just want to be over everything and just move on already. I like my current gf so much that I have even though about marrying her but I don't understand why there are times when I just can't stop thinking about my ex.

Someone please set me straight. I have deleted my ex from all social media but I still try to find things about her. I visit her profile often. I feel like a freaking stalker.
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Old 26th December 2017, 7:13 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by garysmith View Post
I ended up breaking no contact after 2 months of NC today. Not disappointed about it, but I am also here because I have the urge to text her again and I refuse to do it.

I don't think the text was too bad. I asked how we got to a place where we each other and not even say hi.(We were in the same room for a couple of hours and didn't say hi)

She responded by saying it was out of respect for my current gf and she wished me a happy birthday.

After that, a few minor texts were exchanged and I ended the conversation by letting her know that I just wanted to make sure there were no ill feelings between us. I also said that I am glad she was doing and to take care of herself. And that was it.

I still have the urge to talk to her but I am not going to text her.

Nothing will come out of it. I need to keep reminding myself that she broke up with me and no longer wants me. I wished it was different but it is not.

I am also beginning to feel really guilty about my current gf. She is the best woman I have ever met. In paper she is 100 times better than my ex. She is beautiful, smart, ambitious, amazing personality and did I mention how beautiful she was. The only issue I have right now is that I am still hung up on my ex and I don't understand it.

I really hope I don't end up hurting my current because that would also devastate me.

I don't get why this is happening to me. i just want to be over everything and just move on already. I like my current gf so much that I have even though about marrying her but I don't understand why there are times when I just can't stop thinking about my ex.

Someone please set me straight. I have deleted my ex from all social media but I still try to find things about her. I visit her profile often. I feel like a freaking stalker.
It won't feel much better for your current gf if or when she finds out. Sounds like you're using her to try and get over your ex but if you was in her shoes youd be back on this board complaining about your partner who's clearly not over his/her ex. Treat people how you'd like to be treat

If I was you I'd either decide I want the new gf and cut all ties with the old one or I'd decide that I still love my ex so it isn't fair on the new gf
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Old 26th December 2017, 7:47 PM   #5
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I am not looking to use the current. I really do like her. I might still be in love with my ex though.

I just don't want to lose my current. She is an amazing woman. And she knows what is going on. I keep her on the loop on how I been feeling.

For instance, I have been fine the last month. My birthday, holidays and seeing her again brought some things back again.

I feel bad though. I feel like I really like this woman but I just do not want to take a chance and lose her. But I also feel that If I had the option I would choose my ex over her and I don't honestly understand the why.

My current and I are way more compatible.
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Old 26th December 2017, 9:36 PM   #6
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You are using your current gf. She deserves better. If you want to pine after a woman that doesn't want you, that's your choice, but let your current gf be free to meet someone genuine. Someone who wants to be with her 100%

Your ego has been bruised because your ex doesn't want you. It hurts, but that's something you need to accept. It's over. Her choice.

I feel so sorry for your girlfriend. What you are doing is cruel.
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