moving to get over an ex -- is it a good idea?

[dawn duval]

Today I've been considering moving back to texas to get over my ex. I live in L.A. now. And btw, my ex doesn't live here, he lives in england, but if we were together he was gonna move out here soon to be with me.

 

So here's why I'm thinking of moving back -- I grew up in texas so my closest friends and family are there. I was thinking that could help me with the emotional support thing. Then today I was feeling bummed that I'll never be able to afford a house in LA. It's so freaking expensive here and I'm starting to feel like a moron throwing away so much money on rent. Guess I feel like settling down, and doing that whether or not I have a man around. I think moving somewhere cheaper would help me do that. I hate my current job, so there's not much keeping me here on a practical level. Also, moving is appealing because I think a new start might jolt me into getting over my ex.

 

At the same time, I don't want to be running away from my problems. Don't want to be a pathetic loser running home to mommy. I would miss the ocean too.

 

Just wondering what people think about moving to get over an ex.

[westernxer]

Do whatever you feel you need to do. But if you like your job and have friends here, then stick around. This city's big enough to where you'll never have to see the Brit if you don't want to. That's an understatement. This city's way too big. By the way, L.A.'s full of British boys, in case you'd like a replacement.

 

And, yes, houses are ridiculously expensive... I'll never be able to afford one either, not until the bubble pops (hopefully). I grew up here and have nowhere else to go. This is my home.

 

So many people come and go... they do the "L.A. thing" for awhile, then leave when things go bad, like a movie script gone awry.

 

Not the first time I've heard this story...

[dawn duval]

The housing prices are sad. Some of my friends have worked their way up to houses in nicer areas by making a profit on the crappier ones. The bar is too high for even that now. Over half a mill to get a piece of crap house. Just isn't right.

[westernxer]

Here's an article from this morning's Los Angeles Times about a potential collapse...

 

It's Not a Bubble Until it Bursts

 

Keep your fingers crossed.

[ChuckDee33]

I moved an hour away to have a fresh start away from my ex. It's not THAT far but far enough. Besides, I moved back to my hometown were my old friends and family are so they can provide support somehow. If we were to reconcile, it's not so far away that we couldn't make it work...but I'm not expecting that to happen.

 

So I'd say just do whatever you feel is best for you. If you are not happy there then you should move. Your happiness is the most important thing, at all times.

[moon]

I have always moved away to get over a break up. I haven't exactly planned it like this, but that's just what generally happens with me. But I am also not the type of person that stays in one place for more than a couple of years. I have lived in many places.

 

This last break up I had about seven months ago has taken me the shortest amount of time to get over. Well, it's been over seven months and I am feeling just about okay again, with spurts of sadness here and there. I guess I also know that the ex isn't right for me so that helps. I left quicker than the snap of a finger when my ex and I broke up. I was on the freeway hours later. I never returned. I only contacted him one time again, but just to tell him more about my side of things and to apologize for some of my behavior (yes, he dumped me and I was apologizing---when will I learn?). Yes, I think moving helps a great deal. I came home to my family. I did a lot of soul searching. I got into therapy, I found new opportunities and talked to old friends. I resolved some conflicts I was having in my family life and other things. I didn't even work or have a job for about 2.5 months after the break up. I was so sad. I was really hurt. But slowly things got to feel better again. I now work and I was able to confront the break up for what it was and move on from it.

 

Another time I didn't leave immediately after I had one break up. It was so hard to work everyday and I had a very stressful job. I finally left and ended up traveling for a long time. I think this helped me to get over the break up in the end.

 

I think it does help to move, but know that you're going to have to deal with your emotions no matter what. I do think, though, that some places are better than others to deal with these heafty emotions. I think being with your family and in a familiar setting is the best remedy. I think you also learn after every break up that you must stop yourself at a certain point from dwelling on the break up forever. I didn't get this after a few of my first break ups, but I am realizing it now. You have to force yourself to move on at some point. I think if you are still agonizing over a break up a year later (maximum), you should run fast into therapy. It's not worth it to ruin your present and future over a failed relationship. You have to let it go at some point and figure out what the break up triggered in you. Many times I don't even think it's the ex that you miss, it's just drama and emotions that that person stirs up in you. Therapy helps to get to the root of those emotions and the origin of them. You might find that that person really reminds you of your parents or some other negative treatment from your past. You have to make that connection.

 

Go ahead and move. That sounds like a good plan. You can always turn around and go back once you get things into perspective.