How do you cope with pain?

[Station85]

How do you guys cope with pain? I usually work out, mediate or go take photos. But recently, I've been waking up mad knowing that my girlfriend of four years cheated on me and then blames me for her actions. It's hard dealing with a manipulative person. It's been a month and I have not speaking to her. Just knowing that I'm hurting and she's out there with who knows who really makes me mad.

 

I know time heals all wounds but I'm ready for this suffering of mine to be done.

[jparmyguy]

How do you guys cope with pain? I usually work out, mediate or go take photos. But recently, I've been waking up mad knowing that my girlfriend of four years cheated on me and then blames me for her actions. It's hard dealing with a manipulative person. It's been a month and I have not speaking to her. Just knowing that I'm hurting and she's out there with who knows who really makes me mad.

 

I know time heals all wounds but I'm ready for this suffering of mine to be done.

Drugs and happy music. Probably not the best way but it works for me until I get back to reality. It stops me from doing these stupid loops in my head of playing everything over and over again. I don't even do it to figure what changed because ill never really know.

 

Right now its getting harder each day because I am so bored half the time, because during those years I literally relied on her as my form of entertainment and now that she is gone really don't know what makes me happy anymore. It doesn't help that my friend almost killed himself in an accident and now that my dog is getting put down soon because it bit a family member for the 4th time.

 

With all this going on she would be the person I went to for the emotional support, but she is gone now and never coming back. So trying to get use to being alone again but kind of hard considering it was 2.5 years and I never imagined her ending things with me considering how crazy she was about me and how she was saying two weeks before dumping me how she couldn't wait to have a family one day.

 

Anyways got into a the first fight in a while and pissed her off a little bit too much by letting my trust issues with her get the best of me. She broke it off and played some games afterwards for about a month to get some girl out the picture and now she is out of the picture for good. I left the door open for her to try again with me but she is too flippy floppy with saying she thinks it could work at the end of summer but then saying she doesn't think it would work because of all the issues. Had an emotional convo with her about 2 weeks she showed no emotions toward me and just said she saw her future with me but after she dumped me she changed and saw no future with me and wanted a do over with someone else.

 

It is what it is just I have no clue what to do with myself because of how invested I was in the relationship and considering how I didn't want to end things because I was still in love and was willing to try and work on the issues. Just how I am as a person.

[trustyourself]

Drugs and happy music. Probably not the best way but it works for me until I get back to reality. It stops me from doing these stupid loops in my head of playing everything over and over again. I don't even do it to figure what changed because ill never really know.

 

Right now its getting harder each day because I am so bored half the time, because during those years I literally relied on her as my form of entertainment and now that she is gone really don't know what makes me happy anymore. It doesn't help that my friend almost killed himself in an accident and now that my dog is getting put down soon because it bit a family member for the 4th time.

 

With all this going on she would be the person I went to for the emotional support, but she is gone now and never coming back. So trying to get use to being alone again but kind of hard considering it was 2.5 years and I never imagined her ending things with me considering how crazy she was about me and how she was saying two weeks before dumping me how she couldn't wait to have a family one day.

 

Anyways got into a the first fight in a while and pissed her off a little bit too much by letting my trust issues with her get the best of me. She broke it off and played some games afterwards for about a month to get some girl out the picture and now she is out of the picture for good. I left the door open for her to try again with me but she is too flippy floppy with saying she thinks it could work at the end of summer but then saying she doesn't think it would work because of all the issues. Had an emotional convo with her about 2 weeks she showed no emotions toward me and just said she saw her future with me but after she dumped me she changed and saw no future with me and wanted a do over with someone else.

 

It is what it is just I have no clue what to do with myself because of how invested I was in the relationship and considering how I didn't want to end things because I was still in love and was willing to try and work on the issues. Just how I am as a person.

 

Dude,

 

Its like you are writing about my ex.

 

Ended 6 month ago. We were fighting because of trust issues.

 

She would reach out from time to time. First time was a phone call to apologize for being so mean to me during the breakup. Then it would be a text once a month. Breadcrumbs: I miss you... How are you... then about two months ago, she called me drunk. I love you so much. The heart wants what it wants. A couple of days talking and then ghosted again.

 

Then roughly 3 weeks ago she asks to meet up to talk. I accept with some hesitation. She says she wants to get back together. I say ok (Stupidly)

 

We have a great first week, then she takes a vacation. Something happened on the vacation, as she was lovey dovey for about 5 days, then suddenly very distant. Makes me immediately suspicious. I say nothing. When she gets back, we go out on a date. She is being really weird. I start probing about the people she met and get upset when she says she met a group of guys and hung out with them over the weekend there.

 

She breaks up with me two days later. Tells me its because her family dont approve due to our very bad last breakup. Doesnt want to lie to them. Then the truth comes out. "I met a really sweet guy who made me feel really good about myself."

 

I ask her if anything happened with this guy. She says no, they are just talking. I say goodbye, and she immediately unfriends me on social media. Less than a week later, mutual friends comment on a picture this guy posted of them together which shows up on my feed (Damn you FB)

 

She totally ****ed me over man. Again.

 

She flipped and flopped (probably because she was lonely) and as soon as something new and exciting comes along, she ditches me. I am so done man. But it hurts so bad.

 

I am terrified once that fizzles out, she will try and weasel her way back in.

 

But this is it. I could forgive that other stuff, but dumping me to be with someone else? nah.

[SSun]

I started volunteering with different organizations, working extra hours to get home later and having planed reading and/or media while home. I also added meditation for those chest clutching nights. Oh and journaling helped too.

 

 

 

 

How do you guys cope with pain? I usually work out, mediate or go take photos. But recently, I've been waking up mad knowing that my girlfriend of four years cheated on me and then blames me for her actions. It's hard dealing with a manipulative person. It's been a month and I have not speaking to her. Just knowing that I'm hurting and she's out there with who knows who really makes me mad.

 

I know time heals all wounds but I'm ready for this suffering of mine to be done.

[the_lost_1]

Hey man, if it makes you feel better - I never had a girlfriend and never will, I'm 29 and hoping I'll be dead soon.

[Amas5750]

How do i deal with pain?

 

Crying my heart and soul out whilst on the phone to my parents or a close friend. I absolutely probably lose my dignity doing that but its the only thing that always helps.

 

Also my friend forced me outta the house to go and sit n quietly read the paper at a cafe because you "cant" cry whilst at a cafe.

Shes like your situation will always be there to come back to...so u gotta take ur SELF/mind on vacation temporarily from it.

 

I also journal and cry my little eyes out endlessly.

 

I also overwork

 

I also listen to Iyanla Vanzant on youtube. She is the ONLY online persona/youtuber who soothes my soul

[jparmyguy]

Dude,

 

Its like you are writing about my ex.

 

Ended 6 month ago. We were fighting because of trust issues.

 

She would reach out from time to time. First time was a phone call to apologize for being so mean to me during the breakup. Then it would be a text once a month. Breadcrumbs: I miss you... How are you... then about two months ago, she called me drunk. I love you so much. The heart wants what it wants. A couple of days talking and then ghosted again.

 

Then roughly 3 weeks ago she asks to meet up to talk. I accept with some hesitation. She says she wants to get back together. I say ok (Stupidly)

 

We have a great first week, then she takes a vacation. Something happened on the vacation, as she was lovey dovey for about 5 days, then suddenly very distant. Makes me immediately suspicious. I say nothing. When she gets back, we go out on a date. She is being really weird. I start probing about the people she met and get upset when she says she met a group of guys and hung out with them over the weekend there.

 

She breaks up with me two days later. Tells me its because her family dont approve due to our very bad last breakup. Doesnt want to lie to them. Then the truth comes out. "I met a really sweet guy who made me feel really good about myself."

 

I ask her if anything happened with this guy. She says no, they are just talking. I say goodbye, and she immediately unfriends me on social media. Less than a week later, mutual friends comment on a picture this guy posted of them together which shows up on my feed (Damn you FB)

 

She totally ****ed me over man. Again.

 

She flipped and flopped (probably because she was lonely) and as soon as something new and exciting comes along, she ditches me. I am so done man. But it hurts so bad.

 

I am terrified once that fizzles out, she will try and weasel her way back in.

 

But this is it. I could forgive that other stuff, but dumping me to be with someone else? nah.

 

Trust me dude I am hurting really bad about all this, because I thought she was the one even though I had my issues with her. At the end of the day I know I am way better off but it doesn't help.

 

This girl lied to me throught out the entire relationship, in beginning she tried leaving me for another kid but since the kid did not want her she came back to me after I dumped her. I was an idiot for taking this girl back but hey I was 17. I loved her so I thought it was worth trying to make things work, little did I know she was still talking to the kid behind my back and it ruined me. I went completely crazy checking her phone and asking a thousand questions all the time.

 

Her dad noticed one day when we got into a little fight and did not like that so her family started being mean to me. They also got me involved into there stupid drug bull****. Got brought on a heroin deal and was not too thrilled about that and I started to really dislike her family. One day I was bad mouthing them and I was stupid because it happened over text. it went like this "Its funny that your dad wants to call the cops on me because if I called the cops on him he would actually be screwed" Literally, the ****test person on earth I have ever met is this girl dad. You wouldn't believe half the stuff this guy did if I told you.

 

So her family made her break up with me and started to threaten me and my family. Her dad tried calling some people to jump me. He personally threatened to kill me and my dogs. I should of called the cops but nope was thinking of her instead of myself. We ended up continuing to see each other after stuff cooled down.

 

Anyways everyone told me to end things with her and to move on before I got too attached and I didn't listen. Shame on me because had I ended it back then I would be in a much better place right now and who knows I could of been much happier and maybe dated a much better girl. Met a decent amount of girls in school but my ex cut every single one of them out of the picture meanwhile she would hang out with other guys behind my back.

 

Fast forward to now here I am extremely hurt and heartbroken over a girl who could give two craps less about ending things with me. I felt for the games she played like a fool thinking she actually wanted to be with me and try to make things work. I know how she is as a person she is extremely manuplitve and a liar. No clue how I could be in love with someone like that and be so hung up on it.

 

This girl literally told her friends that she was going out to dinner with me as friends when she was telling me she wanted to try again. She only did that crap because I was making it harder for her to move on because I started talking to other girls. Meanwhile, I got see right in my face her sloppy drunk on top of another guy but I got crap for hanging around another girl. I ended ****ing the other girl and threw it in her face she was not too happy about that but screw her.

 

Anyways all communication has been cut because after that convo, I couldn't do the back and forth anymore. The constant oh I think things could work but actually I don't see things working out. Her friend told me I am pretty sure she just wants to be friends with you but still wants some sort of control over your life. So anyways, things have settled now haven't spoken to her for a while now and do not plan on it.

 

I got her to remove my friends off snapchat and such so that she would stop peeping on what I was doing since she will screw with me if she does not like it. She also stopped talking to her friend brig who dates my friend danny. I knew she never liked the girl and I am pretty sure she only talk to her to get a glimpse of what goes on in my life. When I was talking to brig she was saying how she sends her snaps and she thinks that she is doing that to rub it in my face that she is better without me.

 

I am hoping that by the time school starts and I have to see her around again, that I will be over all this crap and it wont bother me anymore. Who knows its extremely hard for me to move on because as my friend who knows me best told me that I always hold on to things for a long time.

 

He also said that one day I will look back and laugh at all this, which he is probably right about. Just hopping that day comes soon!