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Broken Engagement


EmperorR

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I asked my girlfriend to marry me on her birthday, she was crying so happy and she said yes. We both told our families the good news and both were extremely excited. The very next day she returns the ring saying how she feels scared and worried about a future with me.

 

A few days later she blows up at me saying how were so different and for me to return the ring. Then a few days later after that she changed her mind again, she asked to check my phone to buy something and I said sure, then she sees a text message I sent to a friend who is a girl saying how she returned the ring and I feel so embarrassed. And she blew a gasket and said it was done and over how I "emotionally" cheated. It's been about two weeks now, I still see her every day because we live together and work together.

 

I try to be calm and collective but yeah it's hard. Today she comes by my office and tells me how she knows that we live together and work together but if I could at least talk on the way to work, and I told her I have no desire to be friends I told you I don't do friends with exes.

 

What sucks is because we have one car and live together and work together, doing NC is literally impossible. I try not to talk, not to look at her, just mind my own business but boy it's tough.

 

I'm already working on a exit strategy moving out, getting another vehicle but that will be months away. I literally don't know what happened we had zero problems before I asked her to marry me

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If she returned the ring, did you get your money back?

 

 

You two need to talk. She's acting crazy & you need to get to the bottom of why if your relationship has any chance to continue

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If the situation really has played out as you described, then I would take this opportunity to reflect on whether this woman has the ability to behave rationally and calmly in the face of information which isn't always ideal. The on/off feelings towards your initial proposal would alarm me, and her reaction to this 'text', whilst slightly concerning, probably didn't justify the kind of blow up you described.

 

I was engaged, married and have subsequently divorced a woman who was just as volatile as the one you describe. Despite my complete and utter devotion to her, anything short of 100% perfect resulted in fights and very uncomfortable periods in our relationship. In hindsight all the warnings were there to begin with, and had I acted with more composure to her outbursts perhaps they would have died down over time.

 

In summary, consider how stable this person is, what role you play in that instability, and whether a change in your behaviour towards her could leave to a change in her behaviour back that would allow you both to be happily married. A good hard think could save you both years of heartbreak an regret.

 

Best of luck,

 

H

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