My best friend is messing around with my crush

[Jessi_girly]

So I found out my best friend hooked up with the guy I liked. A little background info: he and I hung out a couple years back. We never hung out alone and we never got physical. But I really liked him. Unfortunately we died off and I started dating the other guy I was seeing. Well the guy I was dating and I recently broke it off. He also just got out of a relationship. I thought it was perfect timing.

 

One of my close friends invited him to chill with all of us. I got super intoxicated and basically threw myself at him but he didn't want to have sex with me. A few weeks later we hung out again and I was hoping maybe something would happen. Only to find out he went after my best friend and they got together!!

 

I'm so upset and feel betrayed. The only redeeming factor is that I didn't tell her directly that I liked him. But if I came onto him why wouldn't she assume that? And why didn't he stop her either?

 

How do I forgive her for backstabbing me?

[stillafool]

Since you never told her you even liked him she probably thought it was okay. When you got drunk and threw yourself at him she probably thought you were just doing that because of the alcohol. I don't know what you mean by "why didn't he stop her" as it seems that he was the one that wanted her. It's because he wanted to get to know her is the reason he pushed you away when you wanted to have sex with him.

[Zahara]

But if I came onto him why wouldn't she assume that? And why didn't he stop her either?

 

How do I forgive her for backstabbing me?

 

She didn't backstab you. She never knew you liked him.

 

You were drunk and threw yourself at him. That doesn't signify interest rather than a just a drunken move.

 

He didn't stop her because he is interested in her and may have been way before you entered the scene again.

 

You have a bruised ego. Don't project that on your friend.

[Jessi_girly]

She didn't backstab you. She never knew you liked him.

 

You were drunk and threw yourself at him. That doesn't signify interest rather than a just a drunken move.

 

He didn't stop her because he is interested in her and may have been way before you entered the scene again.

 

You have a bruised ego. Don't project that on your friend.

Yes and I get where she might not have known I liked him. But if that was the case then why would she apologize for hurting me?

 

She had to have at least had a hunch that I felt something.

[stillafool]

She apologized because she knows he rejected you and you must be hurt that he wanted her instead of you.

[Zahara]

Yes and I get where she might not have known I liked him. But if that was the case then why would she apologize for hurting me?

 

She had to have at least had a hunch that I felt something.

 

She apologized because she saw that you were rejected and as a friend feeling your hurt that he chose her instead of you.

 

There's a level of entitlement here. He was never yours to begin with nor was she obligated to you in any way.

[d0nnivain]

Having rejected him years ago, your crush didn't know how you felt. Your friend had no idea because you didn't tell her.

 

 

Your friend invited your crush to hang out. Your crush then assumed that your friend liked him.

 

 

When you came on to him drunk he said no because he was interested in your friend & he knew your level of intoxication probably was impairing your judgment.

 

 

Your friend apologized not because she did anything wrong but because she cares about you & does not like seeing you in pain. She is a good friend. You'd be wise to keep her but if the pain of seeing her with him is too much, put some distance in here but stop thinking that anybody betrayed you.