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Elle1309

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My ex and I were together for three years. We had some bumps in the road. He cheated at least twice--I caught the major ones, but I know he was talking to someone else at the beginning and made out with someone a week into the relationship. The first two I didn't find out until much later. But for the major two, I broke up with him for a week and then we'd get back together. Each time he did everything he could to get me back (and I'm stupid).

 

Well, we go about six months after the last one (he talked to her constantly, but never actually hooked up with her, so he calls it not cheating ?), and suddenly I had to find a place to stay FAST. My roommates sold their house and moved to FL. Well, with a lack of option, I moved in with him and his friend. This, obviously turned into a disaster when his friend didn't pay rent and I had to pick up the slack (I'm a poor college student). So my ex and I got into a lot of fights.

Fast forward a year, I thought we had no problems besides the fighting about money and we start to look at buying a house together.

 

Come to find out, he's been flirting with a bartender at a bar he always stops by on his way home. I should have known when he kept saying he was tired of that bar when I wanted to go. But I'm stupid apparently. I find out it went beyond that flirting, so I dumped him and moved to another state in two weeks (to my parents house--I didn't grow up here, but they moved about a year ago).

I know it was rash, but I couldn't stay. We worked for the same company, Is have to find a place by myself, and I started dating him about a month after I moved there (so my friends were his friends first).

 

It's been a month since I moved and it's been a mixture of nothing working out (my laptops hard drive died, my phone keeps saying it has no SIM card, and I have yet to secure a job), pain from breaking up and only knowing my parents here (no girls night outs), and enjoying my time with my family.

I just found out he's already dating yet another girl. And he's lying about it ( I called him to ask for my half of our change jar again). I haven't told him I know yet (I need the money), but he keeps trying to convince me to move back or send him "pictures". I don't want to piss him off, because the change jar should have like $200, and I really need every penny I can get. But it's killing me that I'm the "other woman" (kind of), as he seeks me out over his new girlfriend.

I feel like I'm dying. I know he's an ass. But he's also a great person, just crapoy boyfriend. But it feels like he's cheating on me, it feels like one more knife in the wound.

 

How could he move on so quickly? How can I be so hurt after he continuously broke my heart? How can I still want to go back to him so badly? It takes everything in me not to go back to my crappy job, crappy school, crappy boyfriend. I don't know if I can do this.

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I know he's an ass. But he's also a great person, just crapoy boyfriend. But it feels like he's cheating on me, it feels like one more knife in the wound.

 

He's not a great person. A great person is consistent in their nature. They're not great in some instances and completely appalling in others.

 

How could he move on so quickly? How can I be so hurt after he continuously broke my heart? How can I still want to go back to him so badly? It takes everything in me not to go back to my crappy job, crappy school, crappy boyfriend. I don't know if I can do this.

 

He was never truly invested in you, hence the cheating and the moving on so quickly. Allowing someone to cheat on your several times is telling as to how much disrespect you are willing to tolerate. He's not going to treat you any better when you can't treat yourself any better.

 

You keep calling yourself stupid and that in itself is an indication as to your self-worth and how much you value yourself. In that state of mind, you'll continue to cling to any sort of validation, even when that validation is negative and unhealthy. When you're lacking self-respect and self-love, you'll keep going back to whatever little was making you feel "worthy".

 

There's a lot of negativity in your post. If your situations are crappy, work on reversing your life. Everything likely looks crappy because you're projecting the immense bad feelings you have about this guy on everything else that's going on in your life.

 

And please don't send him "pictures" over money.

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How could he move on so quickly?

 

He doesn't care about you nearly as much as you care about him.

 

How can I be so hurt after he continuously broke my heart?

 

You still care about him.

 

How can I still want to go back to him so badly?

 

He is familiar and comfortable even with his flaws. You don't like the idea of having to start-over with someone new.

 

It takes everything in me not to go back to my crappy job, crappy school, crappy boyfriend. I don't know if I can do this.

 

You can and you will. People don't know what they are capable of until they are pushed to the brink. Your pain is legitimate and universal. Heartache is amongst the worst of human experiences. But it isn't begging in the streets for food. It isn't traveling by raft to avoid civil war. People overcome all sorts of things. You will too.

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