Ex contacts me after a year, only to ignore me. What is up with that ?

[Storyteller2017]

So I broke up 2 years ago ( I got dumped ) and we still had contact with her initiating for a year afterwards but I finally decided to end that and went ghost. After that there was no contact.

 

So I get an email which was not blocked since she used a different name a year later asking how I was and that she is now married and had a kid but she still thinks of me and misses me and still wants to be friends yada yada. She also said she was afraid to contact earlier for fear of me not replying and that she thought I hate her.

 

I wrote back and told her was doing fine and I didn't hate her. I asked how she was doing etc. I said it was sad we broke up and congratulated her on her marriage and kid. There was no intention of me reconciling and I wouldn't anyway since I'm in a new relationship now.

 

After that I get no reply . WTF is up with that ?

 

A friend would have replied. I felt like sending an email telling her off but didn't .

What a hypocrite. On one hand she says she doesn't want to contact me because she scared I don't reply . On the hand she doesn't reply herself.

 

Either she is extremely sick and wants to contact me to ignore me like I did her. She must have tried before but she was blocked or she wants attention and to know she can yank my chain and I'll come. Or she thinks by replying she thinks I want to get back together.

 

Anyways she can only play this card once because now I will never reply ever.

 

 

 

What's up with this?

[Logo]

When you congratulated her on her marriage, she realized you were over her. So, you did good. That's why she didn't respond. You should feel good about the fact you responded and the fact she contacted you using a different email that you haven't blocked. It means she's desperate.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

She was looking for attention. Possibly problems at home or just a bored or weak moment.

 

If you don't want to get caught up in more games and drama, you should probably block this email address as well.

 

No good will come from replying.

[Storyteller2017]

She was looking for attention. Possibly problems at home or just a bored or weak moment.

 

If you don't want to get caught up in more games and drama, you should probably block this email address as well.

 

No good will come from replying.

 

Yes blocked. I would have been friends with her but this not replying makes me disgusted with her.

Why do people do this?

[DarrenB]

Yes blocked. I would have been friends with her but this not replying makes me disgusted with her.

Why do people do this?

 

Boosts their ego, their self-esteem. It gives them great satisfaction to know that you're still reeling over them. Selfish and undignified if I'll be honest.

 

Take this woman straight to the block list. Out with the old, in with the new.

[Storyteller2017]

I went NC for a year then a few weeks ago she emailed me out of the blue with a different email address since she was blocked.

 

She was asking to be "friends" and for me not to "hate" her.

 

I replied saying everything was water under the bridge and everything was cool.

 

She replies a week later and ask's some questions about me etc.

 

I reply within 2 days. Now its been 3 weeks and still no reply to the response I gave her when she was asking some questions. Clearly the conversation wasn't over.

 

What sort of "friend" doesn't reply even after THREE weeks?

My other friends who I have email contact with usually reply with 24-48hours.

 

Should I call her out on it or just let it be?

[Nadine123]

Just let it be. You should have ignored her from the beginning.

[Simple Logic]

I went NC for a year then a few weeks ago she emailed me out of the blue with a different email address since she was blocked.

 

She was asking to be "friends" and for me not to "hate" her.

 

I replied saying everything was water under the bridge and everything was cool.

 

She replies a week later and ask's some questions about me etc.

 

I reply within 2 days. Now its been 3 weeks and still no reply to the response I gave her when she was asking some questions. Clearly the conversation wasn't over.

 

What sort of "friend" doesn't reply even after THREE weeks?

My other friends who I have email contact with usually reply with 24-48hours.

 

Should I call her out on it or just let it be?

 

No you should not contact her. All she wanted to know was would you answer her message if she sent you one. A sick self ego trip.

[Storyteller2017]

Just let it be. You should have ignored her from the beginning.

 

Yeah I know but I was letting bygones be bygones and no hard feelings. Im over her unlike "EarlyBird2016" but WTF right?

 

I didn't mind being friends even though I got dumped since I'm not emotionally involved with her but friends don't not reply to people after 3 weeks.

 

Either she wants me to "chase" her by asking her why she didn't reply or she doesn't give a crap. If the latter then why contact me after a year?

[VeveCakes]

Yeah I know but I was letting bygones be bygones and no hard feelings. Im over her unlike "EarlyBird2016" but WTF right?

 

I didn't mind being friends even though I got dumped since I'm not emotionally involved with her but friends don't not reply to people after 3 weeks.

 

Either she wants me to "chase" her by asking her why she didn't reply or she doesn't give a crap. If the latter then why contact me after a year?

 

it was already said....ego boost.

[Storyteller2017]

No you should not contact her. All she wanted to know was would you answer her message if she sent you one. A sick self ego trip.

 

Why though? I already left without any fuss. Why don't she let things be then? We had some good times together. Why do people do this? Unless she's a nutcase and she just wants to torture me by keeping me hanging. I really had honest intentions of being friends.

[Storyteller2017]

it was already said....ego boost.

 

Really? But I been out of her life for a year. She would have forgotten about me already if her life was all well in good. She already dumped me and I already left, what ego is their left to boost from her standpoint ?

[Nadine123]

The fact that she cant speak to you all a year and still come back after a year, and speak to you whenever the hell she wants.

 

Trust me, I know you're pissed, but if you call her out on it she's going to think that you care and that she got to you, which will boost her ego even more. Go silent, and if she reaches out again, you know what to do.

[Storyteller2017]

So basically Ive been played? She's not really looking to be a friend but just giving herself an ego boost by me replying. In the message she said she was afraid to contact me because she thought I wasn't going to reply. But now I have she is leaving me hanging. What sort of person does this?

[Nadine123]

what sort of person does this?? let me tell you a story.

 

My ex boyfriend begged and pleaded after we broke up. I replied to him, he ghosted me and I later on found out he was seeing someone else.Last week, he contacts me after six months with a bunch of bull**** I tell him to f off and never to contact me again. If I would have agreed to see or speak to him, I would probably be having another nervous breakown right now from him ghosting me.

 

People are screwed up. The fact is that you need to protect yourself. The reason I relate is because I know how it feels to want to text them and call the out on their bull**** but the sad truth is that they dont give two ****s. If she did, she would have contacted your earlier. DONT SEND THAT TEXT.

 

Just dissapear and don't react at all. She's probably sitting wondering why the hell you arent chasing or contacting her at all. After all she's the queen of the world, how can you possibly not thank the world for her giving you breadcrumbs?

 

sorry about the essay

[Storyteller2017]

what sort of person does this?? let me tell you a story.

 

My ex boyfriend begged and pleaded after we broke up. I replied to him, he ghosted me and I later on found out he was seeing someone else.Last week, he contacts me after six months with a bunch of bull**** I tell him to f off and never to contact me again. If I would have agreed to see or speak to him, I would probably be having another nervous breakown right now from him ghosting me.

 

People are screwed up. The fact is that you need to protect yourself. The reason I relate is because I know how it feels to want to text them and call the out on their bull**** but the sad truth is that they dont give two ****s. If she did, she would have contacted your earlier. DONT SEND THAT TEXT.

 

Just dissapear and don't react at all. She's probably sitting wondering why the hell you arent chasing or contacting her at all. After all she's the queen of the world, how can you possibly not thank the world for her giving you breadcrumbs?

 

sorry about the essay

 

Thanks that clarifies things. She sent a sob story email about her thinking about me during that year of NC yada yada not just a hi how are things and so I thought any decent person would have to reply reassuring everything was cool etc.

 

Looks like she spat this right back at me. Either she is waiting for me to get angry and call her out on it so she can justify dumping me or she doesn't care because now her conscious is alleviated as I am cool with everything.

 

To think I honestly thought we could be friends..man I must be the most gullible chump in the world.

[Nadine123]

You're not. You just thought people have the decency to do the right thing but they didnt. You should never take responsibility for being a good person and reacting that way. Atleast now you know for a fact that she isnt the right person for you.

 

Just go NC and don't give her any reaction. She's probably just waiting for you to chase her an wondering why you didnt. Im a woman and ican attest to that. Dont react. Just post her whenever you need to.

[Alamo657]

What's up with this?

Some people are curious about their past ex, they want to know if they are happier/sadder without them.

 

It's compulsive curiosity more than anything, some gossip to share with mommy or bestfriend, and ultimately a "oh i was right to leave him" reassurance.

 

WHen an ex contacts you, there is only one answer : silence. If they want anything more profound from you than the satisfaction of their curiosity, they'll come knock on your door. Anything less is meaningless and not worthy of an answer.

[mightycpa]

There was trouble in paradise, that's why she contacted you. You just didn't respond the way she wanted, so now she's regretful that she contacted you at all. I wonder if this is just a delay on her part, while she figures out what she wants and whether she should keep talking to you. From her point of view, she might think of it as "hasn't responded yet."

 

Don't worry about her or what she wanted. She didn't want you, and even if she did, would you really want her back now that some dude's baby is part of the package? Do you really miss her so bad that you'd want to be friends?

 

The past is the past. Let her stay there.

[Stilnaught]

I'm friends with my first girlfriend, who has married recently, after a period of no contact. It was necessary to "cool off" for a while, before growing back towards each other.

 

But take 1 thing for granted: games are never a part of the deal. Give her no credit for rude behaviour. As soon as your mind starts analyzing her behaviour, it's too late: either you're not ready, and overanalyzing her as a result, or she's not ready and does the kind of things that would trigger your analyzing.

[Simple Logic]

So basically Ive been played? She's not really looking to be a friend but just giving herself an ego boost by me replying. In the message she said she was afraid to contact me because she thought I wasn't going to reply. But now I have she is leaving me hanging. What sort of person does this?

 

Why would she fear you not responding? Some kind of harm was to come if you didn't answer? She feared calling because she wanted an ego boast and if you didn't answer her ego would suffer.

Edited January 24, 2017 by Simple Logic

[Storyteller2017]

There was trouble in paradise, that's why she contacted you. You just didn't respond the way she wanted, so now she's regretful that she contacted you at all. I wonder if this is just a delay on her part, while she figures out what she wants and whether she should keep talking to you. From her point of view, she might think of it as "hasn't responded yet."

 

Don't worry about her or what she wanted. She didn't want you, and even if she did, would you really want her back now that some dude's baby is part of the package? Do you really miss her so bad that you'd want to be friends?

 

The past is the past. Let her stay there.

 

Harsh but true. Can't even be friends.

[Storyteller2017]

I'm friends with my first girlfriend, who has married recently, after a period of no contact. It was necessary to "cool off" for a while, before growing back towards each other.

 

But take 1 thing for granted: games are never a part of the deal. Give her no credit for rude behaviour. As soon as your mind starts analyzing her behaviour, it's too late: either you're not ready, and overanalyzing her as a result, or she's not ready and does the kind of things that would trigger your analyzing.

 

Barring exceptional circumstances, I would be pissed if a real friend took more than a few days to reply.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I went NC for a year then a few weeks ago she emailed me out of the blue with a different email address since she was blocked.

 

She was asking to be "friends" and for me not to "hate" her.

 

I replied saying everything was water under the bridge and everything was cool.

 

She replies a week later and ask's some questions about me etc.

 

I reply within 2 days. Now its been 3 weeks and still no reply to the response I gave her when she was asking some questions. Clearly the conversation wasn't over.

 

What sort of "friend" doesn't reply even after THREE weeks?

My other friends who I have email contact with usually reply with 24-48hours.

 

Should I call her out on it or just let it be?

 

Call her out on what? You know she has a pattern of doing this and you have a pattern of continuing to reply. Why bother?

 

As I said last month, her behavior suggests that it is just an ego rub when she is bored, nothing more.

 

Her idea of "friendship" with you is only superficial. It sounds like you were hoping for more, but that isn't going to happen. Her priority is her husband and child.

 

For your own sake, you need to let this go.

[Marc878]

The big question is why did you reply?

 

She threw out some bait and you jumped on it.

 

NC is always best.