Does the mother of my child still love me?

[dawnoftruth]

The mother of my child and I were together for 4-5 years, and we have a 3 year old son. We broke up because we were too immature to deal with communication, and I certainly was a big part of that. I also did not have much growth to be emotionally available to her and I have taken responsibility for that and have apologized, and she has forgiven me. While we were broken up I went on a quest for knowledge and to know myself more, and the mother of my child got married (within 5-6 months after our official break up). She got married to someone who is going to the Air Force (he's in basic training now) and they didn't even date for a year, I think they only got married so quickly (after 6-8 months), was so that they could be together while he served (not because they were actually in love).

 

But here is why I am here: I think she still loves me. She has told me she has noticed how much I've grown as a person, and how she has felt bad about not holding on to me longer. As time has progressed, we've become closer and more open to each other like how we should've been when we were together. To be honest, a little too open and close because she's married, and her husband already accuses her of still loving me.

 

I think she still loves me because while her husband has been in basic training, we talk about old times and blush (including our favorite sex sessions together), she massages my hands and arms, and I massage her feet and kiss them. She flirts with me a lot, and I flirt back. She texts me a lot, and calls me. When I talk about my future plans, she "kiddingly" finds a way to make it an "us" plan (i.e. buying a house, interior design, weddings, etc). I can tell she holds a lot more back because she's married (i.e. not cuddle with me, but sleep with my sweater). We've been through a lot together, and I feel we still have something to finish. I wanted to come here for guidance, from someone who has maybe been through this before and how it played out. What should I do? Can someone tell me why she is still wanting to be married to him, but still feel more connected to me? I really would love for her and my son to be a family again.

 

Maybe this isn’t an obstacle, but a spiritual and emotional lesson. Maybe this is the chapter, before our chapter together. Maybe we will find joy together after these lessons. Maybe we were meant to learn, and let go. Idk.

 

Should I be direct with her and ask her what's up? Or should I just be cordial for the sake of our child? Am I being played?

 

So far I've decided to sit her down and put everything out on the table. Let me know what you think of this situation and please offer advice (especially if you've been in my position).

[Satu]

She's somebody else's wife.

 

Leave her alone.

 

 

Take care.

[dawnoftruth]

She's somebody else's wife.

 

Leave her alone.

 

 

Take care.

 

Okay, that's fair.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

The mother of my child and I were together for 4-5 years, and we have a 3 year old son. We broke up because we were too immature to deal with communication, and I certainly was a big part of that. I also did not have much growth to be emotionally available to her and I have taken responsibility for that and have apologized, and she has forgiven me. While we were broken up I went on a quest for knowledge and to know myself more, and the mother of my child got married (within 5-6 months after our official break up). She got married to someone who is going to the Air Force (he's in basic training now) and they didn't even date for a year, I think they only got married so quickly (after 6-8 months), was so that they could be together while he served (not because they were actually in love).

 

But here is why I am here: I think she still loves me. She has told me she has noticed how much I've grown as a person, and how she has felt bad about not holding on to me longer. As time has progressed, we've become closer and more open to each other like how we should've been when we were together. To be honest, a little too open and close because she's married, and her husband already accuses her of still loving me.

 

I think she still loves me because while her husband has been in basic training, we talk about old times and blush (including our favorite sex sessions together), she massages my hands and arms, and I massage her feet and kiss them. She flirts with me a lot, and I flirt back. She texts me a lot, and calls me. When I talk about my future plans, she "kiddingly" finds a way to make it an "us" plan (i.e. buying a house, interior design, weddings, etc). I can tell she holds a lot more back because she's married (i.e. not cuddle with me, but sleep with my sweater). We've been through a lot together, and I feel we still have something to finish. I wanted to come here for guidance, from someone who has maybe been through this before and how it played out. What should I do? Can someone tell me why she is still wanting to be married to him, but still feel more connected to me? I really would love for her and my son to be a family again.

 

Maybe this isn’t an obstacle, but a spiritual and emotional lesson. Maybe this is the chapter, before our chapter together. Maybe we will find joy together after these lessons. Maybe we were meant to learn, and let go. Idk.

 

Should I be direct with her and ask her what's up? Or should I just be cordial for the sake of our child? Am I being played?

 

So far I've decided to sit her down and put everything out on the table. Let me know what you think of this situation and please offer advice (especially if you've been in my position).

 

I fantasize about getting together with the mother of my child as well and having a happy family too.

 

Truth is, if they are married, you need to respect that marriage.

 

If you can't handle that, stop talking to her altogether.

[Miss Clavel]

ya, not to mention, she's cheating on him while he's in basic training. imagine how it's going to be if/when he gets deployed.

 

service men and women deserve better.