The time has come.

[loveiswar101]

Never thought id be writing this post but at some point you have to just draw the line.

 

After all the ups and downs and chasing, pursuing by me she would finally come around, how wrong I was. I chased her away. I should of listened to all around me, realized that I'm needy, and above all moved on 4-6 months ago.

 

I sent her the last text a few hours back stating how I felt (I just had to do it) and wished her well.

 

My weakness is I just adored her and her girls, I felt happy when with her and them. But it's just a FANTASY i have been living thinking it would work.

 

I was to needy, neurotic and foolish in my desperation to be loved.

 

I have to stop...walk away....i struggle so much...just thought Id vent.

 

I useless at no contact, 4 days is the most and at some point she usually texts back, I know its just her being polite. How do you be so strong with NC?

 

Thanks

[lisaloveshearts]

I came to realize no one person is worth that much pain. That statement changed my life.

[privategal]

Make NC stick by just making a choice.

It's about self respect.

Once you make it 3 weeks, 4 weeks, you start to build self confidences like hey, look at me, I'm doing this.

At first it's hard, very hard.

You struggle a lot and will miss her and face temptation to reach out. You need a sentence, a motto, a memo that you say to yourself...could be anything to get you through those moments....mine was "eye of the Tiger, be strong "

 

After awhile I lost the urge to reach out, it helped me start to refocus slowly, I feel SO much less pain, the communication after it is over is HELL.

I slowly got back on track and tried walks, and napped, and was kind to myself.

I didn't play any music and made sure no memories were around and no attachment online.

I rearranged rooms in my house to let in fresh energy and got new bedding and didn't force myself to do anything some days if I needed to cry, I did, cause the tears are cleansing and part of healing.

The only way to get over it is through.

Don't push down feelings, accept them, face them, and soon the bad days become less.

You can DO this. Now man up and join a gym or try yoga (LOTS of Men in these classes). Physical activity helps with depression.

[asphyxis]

First few days to weeks is excruciating. I'm almost 7 weeks post break up (wow!) And I'm in much better head space. Much needed as well. I'm feeling much better, although there's some low days. It's not as frequent as the beginning. You'll start to adjust, just slowly. Spend this time going through the emotions, and if you need to write them out or even here. There's no set time that you'll be "over it" but you do start to feel fed up with always feeling crummy, so keeping yourself busy and being gentle on yourself will help.

[loveiswar101]

Thanks for replies guys. It sucks.

 

If she's not into me, she's not into me.

 

I just really find it hard as YES ive messed it all up but my intentions and warmth I showed her were from a real place of love and kindness.

 

You're right though I suffered this a few years back with another and know I will get through it.

 

IT JUST REALLY SUCKS NOW!

 

Just got to be tough, move on, think of me, get back to the gym, get my summer body in shape. LOL.

[loveiswar101]

It's her birthday today and mine tomorrow. Feel I should send a text, just because it's the person I am.

 

No point I guess, feeling she wouldn't care if I did or I didn't.

 

Few weeks ago I was thinking flowers and dinner with her girls. What is wrong with me?

 

Going to try hold out...Feel if I can get passed today and tomorrow I would of done well and should be good for few days after.

Edited August 22, 2016 by loveiswar101

[Satu]

When all the words have been said, there are no more words to be said.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[SixxChick]

When all the words have been said, there are no more words to be said.

 

This is a sad realization for those of us who love words.

 

But, heed this sage wisdom.

[juniorrocha]

NC is really hard during the first days, but you gotta stick with it. Here's my story with NC:

 

- We broke up 3 months ago; atm, 21 days of real NC. During that time, we contacted each other about 3 times;

- I don't recommend breaking NC. At all. Each time I did it, my head messed up AGAIN and it was almost like getting back to the first days of break up. Stick with it, for real. Don't answer, don't go after her, block her everywhere and run;

- I've been working on myself A LOT. Working out, new projects, improving hobbies, finding new stuff to do, occupying my mind with things that are important to me. Do it. It helps you losing the urge to contact;

 

The first 2 weeks I was often desperate to contact her. But I didn't. She was the one to come after me and I really regret answering. Like I said, it only messes up with your head. Stay away from it.

 

It seems impossible, it feels like you'll never love anyone again, it feels like the world is meaningless, but that's a temporary feeling. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll get through it.

 

Feel free to PM me if you need to contact someone or feel the urge to talk to her.

[loveiswar101]

Thanks Juniorrocha, With much pain I got through yesterday (her birthday) without messaging, had to phone a couple of friends to get past it but I did. Ive woke up today (my birthday lol) feeling the worst I have for a while. She been on my mind from the moment my eyes opened. But have to understand what will be will be. I always mess up!

 

I know NC is the only way for me here in but damn I miss her and her girls.

 

Time to put on brave face and go to work I guess. It will work out..i just want to be loved for me though..

[juniorrocha]

Good thing you didn't contact her. Now wait for today to be over as well. It's hard, but it goes away. Eventually things will start to get better and you will have no desire of contacting her again.

 

By the way, happy birthday! Hope you had/will have a great day.

[loveiswar101]

Thanks buddy.

 

Well after this morning I perked up and had good day at work. Lots of fun with guy I work with. He's a good friend who doesn't judge, just listens.

 

Then, I get the "Happy Birthday!!" text from her, she's made it quite clear she wants nothing to do with me and me not texting on her birthday yesterday surely sent the message that I will leave her alone here in. Fathoms me why she texted at all.

 

After much chat with my friend who also believes I should forget all this, we agreed I would reply as it's my nature. Reason, it's just me and the way I was brought up, manners cost nothing.

 

Anyhow i just replied, "thank you, hope you had a lovely day yesterday' ad honestly I hope she did. That was it, I really am looking for nothing back, as I say I was brought up to be polite even if others aren't, treat people how you want to be treated.

 

Well NC broke and will start afresh.

[Weathergirl]

I am starting NC today.

 

I went through this a few years back, it was a hard lesson. I ignored all advice of going NC thinking if I stay in touch with him, it will be easier for me. It isn't, because you never truely move on. So, I stayed in touch, without seeing him for 14 months. Until one day I get a call from his new girlfriend telling me to leave him alone,that he finished with me ages ago and I need to stop contacting him.

 

That was when the choice was taken away from me, and instead of walking away with my head high, I felt like an idiot. So I did it, it was hard, but looking back, I wish I'd done it sooner. I put my life on hold for phone contact with a guy who had already moved on.

 

Good luck and stick with it. Accept there will be some really difficult days, where you will want to find any excuse to make contact, push through those days. Keep moving forward. Best of luck.