Dazed_and Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 I'll try to keep this short but it's been a year since my first true love broke up with me for long distance reasons. She was from another country and got too homesick. It was a serious relationship with the plans for a long future together. It's been without a doubt the worse year of my life. She claimed at the start she was having a tough time as well but then she had another boyfriend like 3 months later and started telling mutual friends about him knowing I would hear about it. I just couldn't believe how fast she moved on when I was struggling to stay alive. Does she at least feel guilty or foolish when she tells this new guy all the I love you so much it hurts crap that she was saying to me only 3 months earlier! I just never thought she was capable of this. So yeah anyways so I battled on for the rest of the year. Things at times were starting to feel like I was started to care less. So here I was almost a year to the day that she left me I logged in through another persons Facebook to see her page, I wanted to test myself and see if I was healed. Boy was i wrong, after seeing all these pics of her being all lovey Dovey with this new guy sent me right back down to where i was a year ago. I cried for hours and feel so hopeless. Also to see all our friends from back here being so supportive of her and saying how good they look together. Feels so unfair that she's the one that destroyed my life and then she gets all the love and support and can't do no wrong. I want to text her sooo much and let her have it but i think that could be a mistake? The thing is I know it's over and I wouldn't take her back even if she wanted to. But it still just hurts so much even after a year. Is this normal? I'm starting to lose hope 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 It's not unusual to suffer for a long time if you were very close and/or you were together a long time. Don't text her, it'll do no good. Things will get better eventually. Just try to live your own life and ignore hers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 People grieve at their own pace but yours is fairly lengthy. Stop looking at her page & focusing on her. In your mind switch from how much she hurt you to the idea that she's irrelevant & through away a good thing, you. Now focus on living your life. Because living well & enjoying yourself without her & despite the hurt & pain she caused is the best revenge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Once it took me a year and a half to get over an ex. Even then I never went on their facebook. I didn't know exactly how I would react to it so I thought best to ignore that. It will never do you any good to check up on her social media. First because facebook is not an accurate representation of anyone's life. Second people mostly post happy and fun things and seeing that is going to make you feel like sh*t. Holding on to how she caused you pain is just going to cause you more pain. We all want apologies for what was done to us, we wan't life to be fair but it just doesn't seem to be that way. If you really want to let her "have it", the best way as d0nnivain mentioned is to live your life, be as happy as possible and try to find things to do that you enjoy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Men mourn, women replace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Social media is the worst with breakups. Most of us have been there and made that same mistake of checking. Now you know not to do it again. Just learn from it and get back to the healing. Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Men mourn, women replace. Both genders a guilty of replacing, and both genders mourn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dazed_and Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 @ExtraSpice, You said it took you a year and a half to get over an ex. I was just wondering how long it has been now and how you feel about that person now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dazed_and Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Once it took me a year and a half to get over an ex. Even then I never went on their facebook. I didn't know exactly how I would react to it so I thought best to ignore that. It will never do you any good to check up on her social media. First because facebook is not an accurate representation of anyone's life. Second people mostly post happy and fun things and seeing that is going to make you feel like sh*t. Holding on to how she caused you pain is just going to cause you more pain. We all want apologies for what was done to us, we wan't life to be fair but it just doesn't seem to be that way. If you really want to let her "have it", the best way as d0nnivain mentioned is to live your life, be as happy as possible and try to find things to do that you enjoy. Just wondering how long it has been now and how you feel when you think about that ex now? Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 It has been over 3 years now. And honestly when I think about that ex, I tend to remember fond memories. I don't concentrate too much on the drama and the fighting. Mostly because it won't do me any good. I cared and loved that person for a good period of my life so those feelings didn't disappear but just transformed into different versions of themselves. I don't actively think about them at all, they pop up in my mind occasionally. All the things that used to hurt me when I thought about them, don't anymore. I held some grudges against that person but eventually I let those go as well. So I can safely say that when I think about my ex, even though it does evoke some thought and emotion, I don't feel any significant way. My thoughts and emotions are no longer held captive by the memory of my ex and that is a good feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
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