iLoveRedMonkeys Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 My now (-ex) boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost 5 days now. I never imagined us not being together..ever. We'd been friends for two years before we started dating and foolishly, even when he completely stopped contacting me because he'd started a relationship...I just waited around. He was like, a target for me. When I had the opportunity to spend time with him (once his relationship ended), I did. Music brought us together. No one could have ripped us apart. He plays guitar and I sing. We started working on music together, making arrangements of some of the most beautiful songs. Our hearts got wrapped up in the passion and we fell in love. Months in, everything was STILL beautiful... He went back home for two months (Ukraine), and this marked the first time he ever lied to me...about spending time with his ex. He'd become a different man and for some reason this hurt me so deeply. But the relationship continued, on and off, for 1 year and 3 months. Even though it's over, I have to see him 6 nights/week. We have a band together. There are only 3 of us. He was the dumper and absolutely COLD with it. And then he asked me to join him for lunch 2 hours later...(i didn't). I was so broken and hurt and ripped up. I've never stayed in bed so long. But now HE is angry. I looked in his eyes last night and I could see that he'd been crying. I called to talk about work after work last night and he was crying. I've been getting strong and trying to move forward, but ...I don't want him to hurt. I hate other people hurting... This was a toxic relationship full of lies and dying love, kept together by hope and a passion for music. But he absolutely SUCKS in conflict-resolution and fears SO MANY THINGS. Paranoid and superstitious. Agh. The band is finished. We were supposed to tour South Africa together. That is finished. He and his bud will need to find another singer now. He lost the woman many of his friends told him not to lose. He's 32 and has no money saved. His parents want him to get married and have kids soon...and now he's lost it all... why is HE hurting? This doesn't make any sense. Thanks for anything...my little heart is so torn (although the tears have finished..) Link to post Share on other sites
backandforth Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Much like there are new people to meet, there are new bands to join and new music to make. You are lucky you have the ability to express yourself through music. My band and the music I've made with them has helped me so much. Use this experience to fuel the fires of your creativity. Know that you deserve better. Lay low, heal and come back stronger and more determined than before. You can do it! Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Know that you deserve better. Probably some of the best words put together with regard to coping. So simple, yet so hard. Especially when you believe in people but are forced to walk away because you cannot help someone who does not want to help themself. Link to post Share on other sites
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