parkwest Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) My divorce was finalized 2 weeks ago. I filed at the beginning of September though I didn't want to. But I came to a realization that my ex wife had cheated on me for about 19 months and she did the super passive aggressive thing during the time. Together for 7 years, married for 4, in our 50's. I was away working on a project, but traveled home regularly and was able to telecommute. Called and texted my wife daily. Yes, I get the long distance thing but 1., I thought we were old enough and had enough of life experience that we were not easily swayed emotionally, 2. That we had an understanding of why I took this position and that it was certainly easier than what spouses of the armed forces have to deal with. I just got out of the hospital when I got an email with an mp3 file attachment. My wife is a coward and couldn't have a conversation. She sends a diatribe about me and how she wanted to move on. It was as though I was the head of ISIS and she needed to get out of the "toxic" relationship. About 10 days later, she texts me and says she needs me. Then sends a text saying that she was sorry for sending it. She knew I had quit the assignment and was planning the move back to our marital home. She knew the job was impossible, encouraged me, said healing would begin once I was back then said she would put me on her medical insurance. (I had the better insurance) I don't hear from her for a few days after my last work day. I told her I loved her, but I wasn't going to be toyed with. She then sent a text message saying she was blocking me. I called her and left a WTF voicemail for this seemed completely off the rails. I got an email from her telling me not to contact her again and she cc'd her attorney in the email. I was 1400 miles away and recently out of the hospital. I went by the house once I made it back and I talked to her for about 15 minutes. The next day I called her and she yelled at me " I don't love you that way!" which is when everything played back and I realized she had been cheating on me for well over a year. During the period we traveled together, she came to the town where I was working, spent Valentines together, etc. I have experienced heartbreak before, but I had never felt the pain nor heard the sound of my soul exploding. I was totally devastated. I filed for divorce and I didn't contact her after she sent that email. No, I wasn't an mulehole. I was good to this woman, loved by her family and friends. She sent cards to my friends and my mother saying that she was sorry for disrupting the peace of our households. At court a couple of weeks ago when I told my attorney to end this, finalize the property and the like we agreed so that would be the only time we would have to go to court. Prior to entering the court, my ex comes to where I was sitting, extends her hand to me as to hold it and tells me how good I looked. She was continuing to talk but stopped for I gave her a look of get out of my face. She certainly cut off avenues for me to talk to her. And though it killed me inside, I still had my dignity and sense of self. Sooooooo much I wanted to say to her, but never had the opportunity. That it was cowardly to end a marriage that way, that she had exposed my to stds, that she had interacted with my adult son (from a previous marriage, remarried 16 years later) when she had emotionally and physically moved on. I hurt badly. There are plenty of women interested in me, but I know I am not ready for that. My ex has a serious head start on moving on. I am still having problems that a person could be that cold blooded with no empathy who once expressed love for you. I want to call and write. Yes, I know it's over. Yes, I know it's probably my ego that wants some level of revenge. Yes, I know it will do no good. But I still want to do it. I will leave the image of me being dressed to the 9s at the courthouse and not acknowledging her attempt to probably put her mind and conscience at ease. I am hurting today, but I know there is tomorrow. Nothing lasts forever...including bad times. Edited November 30, 2015 by parkwest Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Be thankful such an insensitive woman is out of your life. Take your time to grieve but move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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