I'm a mess right now

[Sampson67]

I'm posting because I need some guidance and some clarity. I met this seemingly wonderful gal about 7 years ago and for the first year or two everything went swell. I was working in finance while she was still in university (me 25 her 21). She was having a rough go in school also and lost some of her scholarship due to performance. She was working at a local bar as a waitress. I noticed her income had started to spike some, but I figured since we lived in a college town and she was pretty, she was simply getting more tips. I noticed after a couple of months however she seemed edgy. I come to find out she has been working as an "exotic dancer" for months without telling me. She says we needed the money and she knew I wouldn't approve. She seemed sincere so I dealt with it. I must admit it did ease the financial troubles but it never quite sat right with me. I also found out she hooked up with a guy she met there thus cheating on me. She assured me it was a one time thing and it was a mistake and I still agreed to go on with the relationship. It was rocky but we lasted 3 more years. If I'm being honest from that moment I sometimes was emotionally unavailable and sexually although she was amazing I felt myself being reserved because I didn't 100% trust her and her long term intentions. She left me 2 months ago citing she needed to focus on her happiness as since she made a lot of the money she felt burdened. It turns out it was for another male. I know I made mistakes as I probably should 've been more invested in maker her happy so she didn't even have to turn to this, but how do you guys cope post break up? She texts me from time to time even now that she is with this new guy but I don't know if it's pity or what. Any help is appreciated. Sometimes I feel really guilty because since I didn't get a better job to support her to prevent her from even going down this path. I know I wasn't a saint, I could've been more emotionally receptive throughout our time together I think and idk maybe that would've kept her away from that life, but I'd just like some tips for coping. Thanks.

[perol]

If it helps it probably has nothing to do with how much money you were making compared to her.

 

You really don't want to be with a stripper/serial cheater. The pain might be great now, but it will pass. If you were still with her the pain would be chronic.

 

You don't want her contacting you anymore, it just rips off the healing scab. Block her. Every way you can. Hopefully she'll get the message and stop trying.