Chronograph Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have been NC for 3 months now. Heard nothing from him. All that happens, is that he sends my remaining post (usually hardly anything more than advertising letters) to my parents. Maybe once a month. I was about to tell him, that he can stop doing that now since I have changed my address with all important organizations and so on. But in the last letter he attached something strange, and I just don't understand it (it was just inside the envelope without further comment). It is an old travel card from Paris. We once visited Paris and you needed a photo for a travel card there. So we took the two photos that we had of each other in our wallets and used them for the travel card. After the trip he carried this travel card with my name and photo around with him in his wallet. So, it's absolutely clear that this thing has absolutely no use whatsoever for me, there cannot be a rational / logical reason to send it to me, a seven year old travel card with an old photo of myself. So why did he do it? If he wants to erase me completely out of his life, why didn't he just throw it away, for God's sake? What does he want to tell me?? It's like he wants to hurt me, wants to erase me and also let me know about it. But why be so cruel? It's not like I'm calling and begging him every day or telling him that I'm continuing to hope for a second chance. I don't want to react. I would like to understand it. What does it mean? Does he want a reaction, does he want attention? What kind of crazy signal is this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 This reminds me of an email I got from recent ex with her photo attached - a selfie looking all cute. I asked her about it, and she denied having done it. He just wants to remain in your head. Even though he doesn't want to be together, he wants you thinking of him. It's crazymaking bullsh*t that you shouldn't spend time worrying about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chronograph Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm afraid someone needs to talk some sense into me! I'm about to send him an email asking what this bloody travel card is about. I know ignoring it would be better. I know it, I know it. Still ... the urge, the urge! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Chronograph- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! IMO, considering what it used to mean to you both, he's trying to provoke a reaction. Any response will show him he got one, and any reaction that invokes a response will show you still care. He wants an ego boost. Please don't respond to this pathetic-ness, you're so much better than that! Sxxx P.s. Bonus motivation- JUST THINK of the mental tail spin he'll go into if he expected it to get a response and it didn't! Pretty similar to yours I would think... Except he probably deserves it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chronograph Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Thanks Speirling, you're right. He probably wants any sort of reaction. Probably the more confused and irritated or shocked the better. Nowadays he seems to seek appreciation in shocking and hurting people, and when everybody goes: "OMG, what an arsehole, unbelievable!" - he's happy! (A few days after the (sudden) breakup he asked me: "and, did you tell all your friends and family?" - I said "yes" and he: "and? Are they all shocked?" - Why did he want to know if everybody was shocked? It's as if being able to shock people is like an award for being the arsehole he chose to become!) But I'm not gonna do it, I'm not gonna send a reply. Ha! I'm not gonna give him the satisfaction to see that I still care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Aaaaand the power is yours.... well done chronograph, I'm feeling very smug for you right now Sxxx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Christina Perri - jar of hearts Apologies if it's not your style, but the lyrics may be applicable Sxxx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chronograph Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I'm really angry cause this has thrown me back so much that I woke up today with chest pain and fear and anxiety. What an unbelievable jerk he is! I could send a parcel full of **** to his address! Why did he reinforce his rejection again, even though I didn't do anything, I didn't send anything, I didn't say anything. So, does NC mean that I can't even tell him to stop sending such bull****? Does NC mean that I have to endure whatever he might send me next without being able to reply and insult him? I'd really wanna flood him with swear words right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Empyrea Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I'm really angry cause this has thrown me back so much that I woke up today with chest pain and fear and anxiety. What an unbelievable jerk he is! I could send a parcel full of **** to his address! Why did he reinforce his rejection again, even though I didn't do anything, I didn't send anything, I didn't say anything. So, does NC mean that I can't even tell him to stop sending such bull****? Does NC mean that I have to endure whatever he might send me next without being able to reply and insult him? I'd really wanna flood him with swear words right now! Yes, that's exactly what it means. Doing any of that would only be a set back in your road to recovery. Trust me. Every day you keep up NC, you become stronger for it. Even the tiniest slip up and you have to start over from scratch. Stay strong! Come vent here and write down everything you want to say to him. At this point, it's just about you wanting to get those things out of your system, it really wouldn't make any difference for him to hear it. It's bothering him MUCH more to see you not respond to his childish tactics. You're doing great, keep it up!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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