She tried to lead me on while drunk. I am not sure what to make of it.

[regdent]

Moved to a new city almost four months ago for residency and started online dating the moment I moved out here. I went on many dates initially, but it took about a month to find somebody I wanted to get to know well. I got matched with a girl who happens to be in the same field and is at the same school. I wasn't all that crazy about her initially, but I started liking her more as I got to spend more time with her. I thought she had a lot of great qualities and was really fun to be with. Then about 6-7 weeks ago, she decided to call it quits, saying she didn't feel a romantic connection and we may be better off being friends. I was shocked because I thought she was into me. She did not give me the whole picture, but she did tell me about this one incidence that really turned her off. She said it mainly had to do with personality differences.

 

It has been hard for me to get over the rejection because we are in the same building everyday and there is always a chance of bumping into her. I have gone on dates with other girls since then, but I have not met anyone I feel strongly attracted to. Then we would have occasional run-ins. We try to be cordial, but I know both of us feel awkward around each other. We would send random texts to each other occasionally, but these usually end up being kinda passive-aggressive and pointless.

 

Last week, we ran into each other at a random bar/lounge. Kinda crazy considering how big this city is. She was out with her brother, whom I met while we were briefly dating, her roommate, and a few friends of hers. She seemed surprised and didn't quite know what to do when she saw me there. We said hi, but we basically avoided each other the entire night. It didn't feel good at all. Then I saw her a few days later at school during the day. She seemed pretty stressed, so I texted her, "Doing okay? Saw you earlier this morning. You seemed stressed." Then we texted a little bit talking about random stuff. A few hours later, she invited me to a social event for which she was one of the organizers. "It's going to be a blast, so you're welcome to join if you want" is what she said.

I ended up going to the event/party. My intention was to meet new people without paying much attention to her. We did not really talk for the majority of the night. I was busy dancing and being the DJ (people loved my music selection, so they let me be the DJ basically the entire night). I saw her getting approached by and flirting with guys all night, and I thought to myself, "Okay, whatever. We've been done for a while." Then I started chatting with a cute girl, who thought I was a great DJ and dancer, towards the end of the night. She seemed to be in disbelief when she saw me talking to this girl. She said to everyone it was time to leave, and she signaled that she wanted to talk to me. She said to me, "You think it's okay for you to be distracted by other girls?" So I said, "Hey, I can do whatever the hell I wanna do." She was visibly intoxicated at that time. We sat down and started talking. She said, "Look, I know you want us to have a label, but I don't believe in that." So I said, "I never said that. You're making **** up." We became silent for a few minutes, but all of a sudden we started making out and dancing and all that jazz. Then she kinda passed out on me for a bit. We were the last people to stay at the venue. We decided to get a uber ride. She passed out on me again on our way home. Once we got off, she said, "I really wanna go to bed right now, but you can sleep over if you want." But soon she realized she had left her keys at the venue. I told her she could crash on my couch, but she wouldn't listen. She called her roommate, who was going to spend the night at her boyfriend's place, and those two came over to let her into the apartment. I did not sleep with her that night.

 

Her actions got me really confused. I probably shouldn't have gone to that party because I now realize I have not fully gotten over her yet. I never expected her to do the things she did to me. I had to have a talk with her. I had to let her know what happened in case she "didn't remember." She claimed she blacked out that night and did not remember much and said she was sorry for her actions. She maintained she wouldn't wanna be more than friends and would be okay with us not being friends. I said, "I realized I have not fully moved on. Even though we will continue to each other, I think we should stay distant for now so that I can move on." And I left it at that.

 

It has been upsetting. I am upset that we can't be together. I am upset that I still have a little bit of lingering feelings for her. I am upset that I allowed her to lead me on. Now that I have set boundaries, maybe I will have an easier time moving on. I, however, can't help but wondering why she acted that way last weekend. Is she a manipulative person? Does she have some residual feelings for me? I keep wondering...

[Reels]

Seems pretty hard, given that you both are living under same roof.