How to get rid of recurring dreams with ex?

[edgygirl]

We broke up over a year ago. I was almost over it when he sends me one more damn email saying he's been thinking about me a lot lately. AND that he is engaged. WTH. Back to square zero.

 

But that's beyond the point. The reason I am posting this is because since I got that damn email 3 months ago, he's always creeping in my dreams (well, nightmares). I've been waking up in the middle of the night because of it. I dream about him with her on my dream, about me and him, about him being with a good friend of mine, all weird stuff that of course I am not sure how it even pops in my mind. It's affecting me as I really really would prefer to eliminate him off my mind completely. I am ready to move on.

 

Has anyone found a trick to stop this kind of dreams?

 

Yesterday I did a list of all the things I disliked in him. I looked at that list and I was wow, why did I even fall for this guy? Maybe it did something because he didn't pop up in my dream last night.

 

I'm thinking the problem is I still haven't fallen for someone since. Maybe when I have feelings again, he will leave my subconscious. What do you think?

 

Please - any advice to help stop this would be appreciated.

[jen1447]

We broke up over a year ago. I was almost over it when he sends me one more damn email saying he's been thinking about me a lot lately. AND that he is engaged. WTH. Back to square zero.

 

But that's beyond the point. The reason I am posting this is because since I got that damn email 3 months ago, he's always creeping in my dreams (well, nightmares). I've been waking up in the middle of the night because of it. I dream about him with her on my dream, about me and him, about him being with a good friend of mine, all weird stuff that of course I am not sure how it even pops in my mind. It's affecting me as I really really would prefer to eliminate him off my mind completely. I am ready to move on.

 

Has anyone found a trick to stop this kind of dreams?

 

Yesterday I did a list of all the things I disliked in him. I looked at that list and I was wow, why did I even fall for this guy? Maybe it did something because he didn't pop up in my dream last night.

 

I'm thinking the problem is I still haven't fallen for someone since. Maybe when I have feelings again, he will leave my subconscious. What do you think?

 

Please - any advice to help stop this would be appreciated.

 

Unfortunately there's nothing I'm aware of that can make a particular dream or subject go away (except maybe getting blind drunk before bed lol), but more importantly, the sad fact is you don't want those dreams to go away. Reason being that dreams are, maybe among other things, your psyche's way of sorting things. Your ex is sth that needs to be sorted. It's a long process, so ....look forward to quite a few more ex dreams.

 

It sucks but it's actually for the best, bc one day, eventually, thru your dreams and whatever other means like endless conscious thoughts about whys and why nots, your mind will be ready to let it go.

 

Trying to shortchange that process would be worse than going thru it I think. Welcome to 'healing.'

[kilgore]

Unfortunately there's nothing I'm aware of that can make a particular dream or subject go away (except maybe getting blind drunk before bed lol), but more importantly, the sad fact is you don't want those dreams to go away. Reason being that dreams are, maybe among other things, your psyche's way of sorting things. Your ex is sth that needs to be sorted. It's a long process, so ....look forward to quite a few more ex dreams.

 

It sucks but it's actually for the best, bc one day, eventually, thru your dreams and whatever other means like endless conscious thoughts about whys and why nots, your mind will be ready to let it go.

 

Trying to shortchange that process would be worse than going thru it I think. Welcome to 'healing.'

 

True. Not to sound glib but it's sort of like having a song stuck in your head / the only way to get rid of it is to keep playing it. Hang in there edgy.

[kenmore]

Hate!

 

It works for me, love someone else (in the interest of science, you may use me ) and HATE them!

 

Once it's in your conscious, it will migrate into your subconscious much like thinking of him because of your contact back then.

 

I had a vivid dream about a lady I know recently. I don't even know her but wow! There you go!

 

One trick and it's huge! Both your conscious and subconscious minds will benefit. Get your mind in the right place while you're awake. The rest will follow!

 

Hugs!

 

Ken

[edgygirl]

Yeah the only ****ed up part is I thought I was almost healing already. Til I got the email. They are automatically rerouted and marked as read to a lost folder now so I won't ever see new ones unless I specifically go there.

 

Is that true? Are dreams theoretically the way psyche sorts things out? Perhaps I'm dreaming cause I am trying really hard not to think about during waking hours so it has to come up somewhere? (I did the fair share of suffering during waking hours already, I feel).

 

Honestly I think what bothers me most is that he theoretically found love (so easily) while I'm still here lamenting. Ughhhh.

 

dreams are, maybe among other things, your psyche's way of sorting things. Your ex is sth that needs to be sorted. It's a long process, so ....look forward to quite a few more ex dreams.

 

[Sunshine09]

I get a lot of dreams of my ex too.

It suxks because you can't control your subconscious

Hopefully they fade with time ! Maybe the email stirred up some buried feelings and your dreams are your brains way of trying to sort them all out

[alphamale]

well you're obviously not over your ex. maybe finding a new guy would help?

[ScienceGal]

That was selfish and awful for him to reach out to you considering he is getting married. Your setback is normal and understandable.

 

Block his email address and continue with healing.

The dreams will stop.

[jen1447]

Is that true? Are dreams theoretically the way psyche sorts things out?

 

I'm not a psychologist or anything of the sort but from what I understand, yes. It's just a matter of dealing ....thru enough exposure, you sort of beat the subject matter into submission and eventually say "ok I'm done." (You don't do that thru avoidance, so if you have issues and deliberately distract yourself from them, they still have to be dealt with one way or another.)

 

I'm sure it's more complicated than that and I suspect dreaming serves other purposes too (think of it as a clearinghouse for your conscious mind), but it does help you to process and deal. In fact it's the process of processing.

[Chronograph]

I get that too. I just dreamed about my ex last night, very vividly and unfortunately a dream where we were back together and so on. It's painful but I don't think that there is anything you can do to prevent these dreams. I also heard it's a way of coping and healing.

 

And I agree, the email from your ex was totally selfish! I would be really pissed off by this and reply with a big lettered **** you! and then delete and block him everywhere.

[Vercetti]

She comes to my dreams to gaslight my new life in some abstract perverse way, or I'm stuck with her trying to escape.

 

I'm married new everything, it's all what I want. Just the dreams. I don't know a cure, the pardoxes of relationships has always been unsettling for me.