Ex puts me down

[sickandtiredOfex]

We were never in a relationship, this man chased me for a good 18 months and once he had me I was discarded! I was naive and thought he loved me and went crazy, texting and calling, the usual when heart overtakes the head. Well this went on for months until he blocked me. So I slowly moved on, everything was clicking into place, I was smiling again and going back to myself, even signed up to a dating site.

I received a message on the dating site it was from him, how I should thank him for improving my appearance and I wouldn't get better than him and how he had many females on his arm. My heart dropped I was just getting over him and he comes back with that! I started to chase him again-I got blocked again so cycle began again taking a few months to get over it.

I signed up to a different dating site and he messaged me on that..so I asked him why he was doing this? No reply. Fine I thought then he started text messaging me through whatsapp so I called him up asking why he is messaging me for sex? That was when the abuse started from his new girlfriend, how I was a disgrace and have respect or myself, he was shouting in the background giving her intimate details of my body and how rubbish I was at sex, I was shocked, why was this man after 2 years of dumping me giving me so much abuse? So I again asked why he was doing this and the reply was 'because it's funny and you take the bait' not before getting his girlfriends child to call me old lady.I'm a few years older than him and it upset me,I hung the phone up and that was then I started to cry. I had my number changed that very day. And slowly got my act together, it was months before i dared leave the house. So few weeks ago I decided I'm not letting this man do this to me..I resigned up to dating site and within a day he was messaging me again, telling me he had changed ect, I told him no and blocked him, last week I got a message from a new profile telling me I edited my pictures and I was older than I'd put only profile, I've been getting a suspicious amount of catfish accounts as well and then he appears to message me. I've since deleted the whole thing, who needs that abuse or drama in their life? I thought he'd get bored and leave me alone. I used the dating site because I have no confidence in myself, thanks to him. Why is he picking on me?sorry it's long but why after 2 years of dumping me is he like that with me? Is this Hatrid? Should I be fearing for my saftyor sanity? Am I crazy? He broke my heart, he's 29 years old not a teenager I think he'd be happy if I were dead.

 

Anyone in this world know why anyone would bully and harass someone to deep depression?

Edited August 27, 2015 by sickandtiredOfex

[Methodical]

He seems psychotic to me, and in no way should you respond to any message from him, not even to say, "NO!" Block him without saying a word. He has already told you he gets off on baiting you, that you're an easy target, so don't fall into his snare. There's no simple answer as to "WHY?" he enjoys being an a$$hat. Some people thrive on making other peoples lives miserable bc, really, they are miserable themselves. Taunting others, getting a rise out of them, putting them down, etc., is the only way to make themselves feel "better." No matter how much he shouts, "I've changed," don't fall for it. He is the epitome of a wolf in sheep's clothing.

 

Delete, delete, delete, block, block, block. Make no contact, period. Retaliation by doing nothing (other than deleting and blocking) is awesome bc no response from you will crawl under his skin. Revenge by intelligence, sister.

[sickandtiredOfex]

I'm beginning to wisen up, nasty vindictive little man.. I've deleted it all..his new account was him looking and I thought I've had enough of this. He has no right to message me let alone look at me on these sites. Everyone I know says I'm better than him which I know is true, could I hurt someone like that on purpose and continue to do it? No..I think if anyone deserves some karma payback would be him and thankfully I'll not be there to see it, never could laugh at unfortunate people.

 

I told him I didn't care if he changed as maybe he should tell the people he cares about rather than those he considered*fkmeat* (his words about me) then blocked him..within weeks messaging me again with a put down on a new account..and using other fake accounts pretending wanting to sleep with me.what gives it away is all his profiles are exactly the same. If he claims he's the best I'll ever have and never get better than him, then I'd be as well staying single.

Edited August 27, 2015 by sickandtiredOfex

[StrangerThanFiction]

This guy is sick. He obviously gets off on getting you to respond to him even after all the abuse and twisted crap he's heaped on you. Don't respond to anything from him because every time you do you just reinforce, in his mind, that he still has a hold on you and will keep playing these sick games. Block and delete him from whatever means he tries to contact you with. You not responding at all will get under his skin like nothing else you can say or do will and will show that you respect yourself enough not to tolerate his BS. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. He is seriously horrible. Don't take what he says to heart. It's all utter crap that he says for the sole purpose of hurting you and crushing your self esteem. He's a pathetic little person and you are SO much better than him.

[15Love]

Please avoid any more contact with him. You might need to keep a record of his strang behavior. He sounds dangerous. Honestly.

[PinkElephants]

Anyone in this world know why anyone would bully and harass someone to deep depression?

 

Because he's desperately unhappy and insecure. His ego depends on knowing that you're devastated at losing him and that he can still manipulate you into feeling crappy. He won't be happy until he's "won" and the only way to win is to destroy you.

 

The truth is that you've won because you're moving on while he's still obviously emotionally invested in you. He probably thinks about you and is angry about you having a life beyond him every day.

 

If you accidentally answer a call, I'd tell him very condescendingly that you feel sorry for him because you moved on a long time ago and he's clearly still thinking about you and hang up on him. Then ignore, ignore, ignore at all costs. Ignoring him will be the ultimate loss of control and will drive him crazy. Smile to yourself every time you get an email or ignore his calls because your life is going on while he's still handing you proof that you're all he thinks about.

 

Don't believe a word he says when he puts you down and don't stay single if you don't want to. You seem to be doing a great job of moving on. You WILL find better than him because he keeps proving again and again that he's the bottom of the barrel and anyone would be better.

 

No matter what you do though, don't respond to him. Wars only continue as long as both parties engage. Stop giving him what he wants and he'll eventually stop trying to get it.

[sickandtiredOfex]

No, he hasn't called me he messages me through dating sites..I changed my number last November because of his and his new girlfriends abuse. I've since deleted my dating site account, I know how his mind works it's his way of being nasty with 'haha I'm still picking everyone over you' if he wanted to message me he has my email address. It's the lowest form of nastiness. Here's a few things he's done that's been equally as nasty

 

We met up to sort things out after he dumped me via text. I bought all the drinks..he then showed me a video on his phone of him and another woman having sex, then took money from my purse. That's one instance.

 

Another was texting me asking if I wanted a threesome.

 

That's two i can think of at top of my head.he doesn't want me back he wouldn't care if I ignored him either.

 

could take out an injunction to stop him contacting me again but the messages weren't close enough to take to the police.

 

I only pray for some karma payback. Completely miserable and yeah he treats it as a game. Ill try again in a few more tha with the dating site •fingers crossed he's gone from them*

[Almond_Joy]

Look up the stipulations by law in your state/country on what qualifies behavior as harassment and what legal recourse you can take in defense.

 

Start keeping a record of all your online dating site messages from him.

 

If you can, get records of calls/texts from him from your old phone company.

 

In the US this would be plenty for a legal suit for harassment and it may take lawful intervention to get him to stop. He's like trolls you see online, only he's in your real life. And completely unashamed of this dysfunctional desire he has to put people down. Sick and sad and you are in NO way responsible for or deserving of this behavior, please don't ever think that.

 

You've already asked several times for him to stop. But the next time he messages you or contacts you in writing at least reply that you have requested he stop communicating with you several times. His refusal not to honor this request qualifies his behavior as harassment. Ask him for a final time to stop contacting you. Keep a copy of that message to him and a copy/record of any contact he makes with you thereafter, so that if you have to take this to court you have a solid body of documentation. Good luck and I hope he stops.

[15Love]

Look up the stipulations by law in your state/country on what qualifies behavior as harassment and what legal recourse you can take in defense.

 

Start keeping a record of all your online dating site messages from him.

 

If you can, get records of calls/texts from him from your old phone company.

 

In the US this would be plenty for a legal suit for harassment and it may take lawful intervention to get him to stop. He's like trolls you see online, only he's in your real life. And completely unashamed of this dysfunctional desire he has to put people down. Sick and sad and you are in NO way responsible for or deserving of this behavior, please don't ever think that.

 

You've already asked several times for him to stop. But the next time he messages you or contacts you in writing at least reply that you have requested he stop communicating with you several times. His refusal not to honor this request qualifies his behavior as harassment. Ask him for a final time to stop contacting you. Keep a copy of that message to him and a copy/record of any contact he makes with you thereafter, so that if you have to take this to court you have a solid body of documentation. Good luck and I hope he stops.

 

Sickandtired, please do all the above. This guy is not your run-of-the-mill thoughtless ex. Showing you video of himself having sex?? What's wrong with him?!!!

[sickandtiredOfex]

The females he gets so easily aren't the glamorous type..how can I type this without being mean? They are on the large side, most large girls are more Adele..big and beautiful but these females he was going with are not..that's probably why he finds it easy to hookup with such..girls with low self esteem. I'm on the opposite end, to their mousy brunette and chubbiness,I'm slim and blonde..I take care of my appearance..now to sit and have to watch him on video have sex with one of those types was just horrible and even nastier was him saying I pick them over you. Hence the meanness of above when these girls who didn't know me where giving me abuse.this is my sorta payback to write it here.he is not tall rather spotty(29YO) on the chubby side and thinks he's gods gift..midway through the abuse I told her straight I said to her " see what he's doing to me he will do to you are you stupid?"

 

So since then I've been screenshoting everything and kept them safe in an email adress. As to ask what is wrong with him- only he can say...maybe one day if he's not a coward , grows up a bit and hide behind that of a woman will tell me. I won't hold my breathe.

 

He used me and lied and got idiots to join in on his hate towards me. He used to say id break his heart..then does things like this? he's a joke of a man.

 

To any large girls out there, this isn't a dig at any one of you, I think curvy women are beautiful but the dig is at the nasty witches that gave me abuse for no reason other than a broken heart..

[15Love]

Understandable. I read a pin once that said "don't worry about people who try to pull you down. They're already beneath you."

 

Sounds like that's the case here. You're a catch and probably made him nervous when he was with you so he left but now doesn't know how to keep your attention. That's why he's hanging around dating sites trying to bring you down before you find someone. He knows you'll get snapped up and once you do, he'll lose any power he has left over you.

 

Keep dating. Ignore his every move. You're gonna be fine

[sickandtiredOfex]

No that's not it, he didn't want to date me even though I'd asked more than a few times, so the part of making him nervous I don't believe that.

 

I think he's only hanging round dating sites is to hookup with people and nothing to do with me at all, hence why he's messaging me it's sort o *hi look at me I still don't want you* like a child wanting attention.

 

I know for a fact he doesn't like me. He's issues with himself and wish he'd leave me out of it.. I think I'll leave the dating for a month or two..most of the men On those sites are undesirable, looking for only one thing and no interest in dating. I think all the good ones ran away from those sites long time ago.