Healing...Where I'm going in life.

[Thecondor1991]

So I've been a member of loveshack for about 3 months, I joined the day after my ex and I broke up, and man what a break up it was. I seriously couldn't function for like two weeks. Everything I saw reminded me of her, I couldn't laugh because I felt that my laughs were forced, I would go on a walk but when quickly want to go home and just crawl in bed, but the absolute worst part of this whole ordeal has been the sleep aspect of it. I would reach for her in the middle of the night expecting to feel her lying there, I would wake up three or four times throughout the night to check my phone in hopes of seeing a text, and the absolute worst part were the dreams. I would dream about things that we had done while we were together, the dreams were always so vivid and felt so real.

 

Now for the last three months I can seriously say I have really began to heal. I used to respond to every single message she sent, now I don't feel the need to. I can look at other women and think "yeah shes attractive." Now the unfortunate part is that I still dream about her, at least, a few times out of the week, and there are times I see something I know she would have loved, and it gets me down.

 

I guess the reason I'm making this post is because I think I just need to vent to someone other than myself. My Ex used to be the person I told everything to, now I find myself keeping a lot of my feelings to myself. I know everyone says you should have a "circle of friends" or a "support system" but the truth is, I really only have 3 friends, and they aren't the kind of people that are good for support. One of my friends constantly finds the need to "1 up" your problem. If I'm feeling sick, hes sicker. If I'm feeling sad, hes sadder, If I tell him how lonely I feel, well hes more lonely. His younger brother is one of my other friends, and while hes a much better listener, he hasn't really experienced anything about the world to give advice. He dropped out of high school, he doesn't want to go to college, hes never had a girlfriend and really doesn't want one. So I feel like he just cant relate to what I'm going through. And my last friend is the worst of the bunch. Shes a great person, shes funny, shes a great listener, and shes been through a lot of complicated break ups. The problem is she always wants to have sex with me. Now I know people are going to ask how that's a bad thing? Well there are three problems. 1. I don't find her attractive what so ever. 2. Shes one of my very few friends and sex complicates friendships. 3. I know she would expect a relationship to blossom from sex. So I find myself just keeping everything I feel to myself.

 

Even though things have been crappy these last few months they are getting better some what. I got a job, I'm saving, and a friend and I are getting an apartment together with in the next month or two. Unfortunately, I do still feel super lonely. It's really hard for me to connect with people. I talk to people at work and everyone really seems to like me, but I just cant seem to get anything out of the conversations I have the my co-workers. When everyone else laughs I fake laugh. My ex and I really got each other. We were friends for years before we were a couple, so we had years to build inside jokes, and games, that no one else would get. I just cant imagine finding someone else I can do that with.

 

Well thanks for reading my random post. Like I said I just felt like I needed someone other than myself to hear me.

[Peanut9330]

It's difficult to have someone be part of your life for such a long time and then poof they're gone in a blink of an eye. You will meetnew people build connections build friendships and relationships. You only feellike this at the moment because your world has been turned upside down. Onceyou've fully healed form the breakup you will see that there are other womenwho you click with and can build a relationship with. Try to steer clear of thethoughts that you'll never find someone else like her, it'll only bring youdown more. Right now just focus on you and what makes you happy, keepmoving forward in the right direction and each day things will get better.

[15Love]

You came to the right place. You are in good company here. I think you've made good choices so far. Keep it up. Vent here when you need to.